Continuing to talk to myself....
Does the geometry on this seem particularly stretchy and low for something that's not strictly a racy road bike?
https://www.bianchiusa.com/archives/2019/road/gravel/impulso-all-road-tiagra
I love the look and I'm pretty picky about aesthetics. On ebay for 1250 from incycle. In socks I'm like 5'10"-1/2 with a 31.5ish inseam so longer torso/shorter legs but I don't know how my arms are proportionally so it might be a wash. I just don't want to be really stretched because I go on all-day rides. The 55 geometry seems a bit too much like the raleigh below but the 57 sounds awfully agressive. I would rather work with saddle and stem adjustments on a bigger bike though.
I need something that's comfortable for long rides on maybe 50/50 smooth pavement and chipseal/pavement with a ton of large perpendicular cracks, rough chipseal, gravel, and other terrible surfaces. I don't really want a 25+ pound super upright monster with 40mm+ tires. More like a -22 middleweight with neutral riding position and 30-35mm tires.
Was really interested in this for a while, and the local shop has some for a change, but thinking now it's a bit too upright purpose-built gravel.
https://feltbicycles.com/collections/gravel-bikes/products/broam-40-2020?variant=22709577318518
I've ruled out anything else similar from big brand names on features/quality/availability/geometry. Have also considered some bikesdirect motobecane but the geometry they provide from model to model is pretty random and incomplete. I could ask. Would much rather pay 1200 for better components than a brand name.
The two bikes I've ridden recently
https://geometrygeeks.bike/bike/raleigh-willard-4-2018/ 54cm Too small. Couldn't get saddle far back enough and had to raise it so far that the drop to the handlebars was uncomfortable. Hunched over and cramped. Too small to monkey with saddle/stem. Had those x'plors 40mm svl was talking about and they were extremely slow on smooth stuff.
https://geometrygeeks.bike/bike/lemond-etape-2007/ 55cm I've had this since 2015 and put a ton of miles on it but the ride is too harsh for the roads around here. Can't fit more than 25mm tires. More stretched out that I want to be but fit otherwise ok.
There just aren't many in-person shopping opportunities here and I don't want to travel to buy a bike. Sold the Raleigh no problem and didn't lose anything on it so I'd just as soon try buying direct again but want to get the best possible fit out of the box.