really really down and out right now. had to put yogi down yesterday. havent cried that much in a long time. was looking through old pictures and there are some of me, my best friend who died, and yogi and im like fuck im the only one left. i'll never forget the way he was looking at me at the end, feels horrible.
mojo man, it will get better.
This week has been kinda weird and rough.
We had an offer accepted on a house at the weekend, the seller is buying ours so shouldn't be too much hassle with solicitors etc... feeling great, forever home vibes and whatnot then arrived in work on Monday morning and before 9am we had news that a colleague, not much older than me had died over the weekend unexpectedly.
I had to share the news to a bunch of 11-13 year olds with profound learning difficulties and try to help them understand / make sense of it while I struggled to do it myself. I have a full hands off policy in work, I don't even do high 5s but I gave out plenty of hugs on Monday.
I wasn't overly close with the guy but it did hit me hard. Not going to lie, whisky was consumed on Monday night, Tuesday I still felt weird and couldn't make sense of it. Wednesday the weird brain fog when something unexpected like that hits you started to clear and I got into that "this sucks but we'll move on from this in time" headspace. Then yesterday I reached a new milestone in my career where a kid spat in my face. I've gone back through all of his paperwork and dissected what I was doing etc... and I can honestly say I did everything I, at least on paper, could and should have done and I'm quite proud of how I dealt with it after making sure the kid was alright and helping to de-escalate but it's still upsetting to have that happen to you and unfortunately the way things are looking, this is going, significant acts of violence are going to become more frequent in my field.
Anyway, we move on. Today was really good. Couple of awesome lessons in the morning, triple period of History (my subject) with a small group of seniors and we had a lot of fun and they really picked a lot up. I wear a bunch of management hats so I don't do
that much teaching these days but it was definitely one of those "this is what I do, this is why I do it" moments, then I got to run about barking at them for Friday football at the end of the day.
I went for a quick pint after work there. the barmaid is at university training to be a teacher and she leaves to go back on Sunday. I bought her a drink before I left and told her to go and change some lives. She laughed but I told her that is exactly what we do and no matter how shitty or hard her job ends up, keep that in mind.
