Mental health check-in

Lerxst said:
There are other diagnostic tests and evaluations that a qualified neurologist can administer that are far cheaper than a MRI. I'd be upfront with whatever medical provider you're consulting and tell them you want to start with some of the more basic tests. There's a bunch of standard cognitive evaluation tests that should be no cost to you and could help at the least establish a baseline.

https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/diagnosis/medical_tests

My wife spent the better part of her professional life involved in the treatment and support of patients w/ cognitive impairment & it's pretty terrible how hit or miss accurate diagnoses are, even at the neurology specialty level. Get more than one opinion before committing to any expensive testing.
Click to expand...
Excellent advice. Thank you.
 
Tig said:
My annual checkup Dr's appointment last Wednesday was right out of a TV soap opera. I drove 80% of the way to the wrong location before I realized my mistake. This is odd because I've been going to the same clinic for over 15 years. The irony is, one of the issues I planned on bringing up is my growing memory loss and cognitive impairment. The realization of possibly developing something like Alzheimer's hit me in the gut for the rest of the holiday weekend. This scares me more than death by a long shot. The doc referred me to a neurologist and ordered an unaffordable MRI. I'm kinda' at a loss right now.


I remember as a kid thinking the "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" saying was dumb. Funny how accurate it really is.
Click to expand...

I share your fear in this regard. Both of my Dad's parents had it in their late 80s. My Dad got it in his late 70s ( I assume partly due to the genetic double whammy of both of his parents having Alzheimer's) and my Dad was about 28 when I was born. The equation doesn't look great for me but I try to do things that combat it as far as medical recommendations at the moment - it just seems like they still really don't know much about the condition.

I can't see you going wrong pursuing some medical analysis. I hope Lerxst's advice works in your favor.
 
Last edited:
Well, I have have covid. Just in time to wreck what was up until now was shaping up to pretty nice holiday plans. I was seriously beginning to think that I have the genetic mutation that prevented you from getting it (I've been exposed several times). But nope, my number came up. So, I guess it's me and some books and movies for Christmas. Maybe Santa can leave my presents on the porch.

Strange part is, I don't feel that bad - just a weird mild sinus infection sort of thing and a bit of a sore throat. Here's to hoping it stays that way.
 
Living with my loud family tribe too – three siblings, two parents, and a parrot. No chronic blues, but therapy is my sanity break. Had to switch to home workouts, though. No more gym therapy for me.
 
Feels kinda crazy that I started this post over 3 years ago.

I’m… I’m very much running on empty, burnt out, candle lit at both ends, whatever.

Between surgery, radiation, and chemo, the past 13 months have really taken a toll on my body.

I’m perpetually fatigued.

I do my best to stay busy, but… I dunno. My whole life, I’ve liked being busy. Education, work, kids, exercise, music, dogs, etc., I’ve loved to juggle.

Still have family and pets, of course, but fuck. My life is very different. Basically living like a homebody, spending way too much time horizontally than I’d like, and I feel out of shape.

I’m trying my best — staying busy with the things I can do, eating well, have a good connection with my health team, etc. — but I just really don’t feel like myself. And that’s a frustrating experience.

My cognitive function has suffered from this year’s radiation treatments as well. I’ve suffered from anomic aphasia or anomia for the past decade or so, a complication from a 2013 brain surgery. Things have progressed a bit, and now there are moments I’m unable to retrieve even the most common words, like those of my birthdate or even my own name. It’ll only last for a few minutes, but it’s very frustrating and even scary.

I dunno. In a weird place right now.
 
Flamencology said:
Feels kinda crazy that I started this post over 3 years ago.

I’m… I’m very much running on empty, burnt out, candle lit at both ends, whatever.

Between surgery, radiation, and chemo, the past 13 months have really taken a toll on my body.

I’m perpetually fatigued.

I do my best to stay busy, but… I dunno. My whole life, I’ve liked being busy. Education, work, kids, exercise, music, dogs, etc., I’ve loved to juggle.

Still have family and pets, of course, but fuck. My life is very different. Basically living like a homebody, spending way too much time horizontally than I’d like, and I feel out of shape.

I’m trying my best — staying busy with the things I can do, eating well, have a good connection with my health team, etc. — but I just really don’t feel like myself. And that’s a frustrating experience.

My cognitive function has suffered from this year’s radiation treatments as well. I’ve suffered from anomic aphasia or anomia for the past decade or so, a complication from a 2013 brain surgery. Things have progressed a bit, and now there are moments I’m unable to retrieve even the most common words, like those of my birthdate or even my own name. It’ll only last for a few minutes, but it’s very frustrating and even scary.

I dunno. In a weird place right now.
Click to expand...
I know you don't post for the mojos, but mojo anyway.
 
GomezAddams said:
Well, I have have covid. Just in time to wreck what was up until now was shaping up to pretty nice holiday plans. I was seriously beginning to think that I have the genetic mutation that prevented you from getting it (I've been exposed several times). But nope, my number came up. So, I guess it's me and some books and movies for Christmas. Maybe Santa can leave my presents on the porch.

Strange part is, I don't feel that bad - just a weird mild sinus infection sort of thing and a bit of a sore throat. Here's to hoping it stays that way.
Click to expand...
Boo. At least it seems to not be too serious.
 
GomezAddams said:
Well, I have have covid. Just in time to wreck what was up until now was shaping up to pretty nice holiday plans. I was seriously beginning to think that I have the genetic mutation that prevented you from getting it (I've been exposed several times). But nope, my number came up. So, I guess it's me and some books and movies for Christmas. Maybe Santa can leave my presents on the porch.

Strange part is, I don't feel that bad - just a weird mild sinus infection sort of thing and a bit of a sore throat. Here's to hoping it stays that way.
Click to expand...

Well that was strange. When I posted this the symptoms were very mild. By 6PM I felt like I'd been run over by a dump truck. By 10pm it was all I could do to stand and walk. Feeling a bit better today.
 
Coming up on 8 months alcohol free (January 5th) and I WAS feeling great but now I'm thinking I need to see the doctor. I did blood work 30 days sober, it was all normal.
Over the last 7 1/2 months I have lost 30 lbs (expected but maybe not that much). I stay cold now and I'm not eating very well, if much at all. I'm just not hungry and always cold. I'm sitting in my office with the heat on 68 wearing jeans, a wool long sleeved shirt and a polo over that and still considering a light coat. Blood sugar is fine so it's not that. I think I need my thyroid tested. All signs point to that.
My energy is just gone and I realize it's from not really eating but I feel sick if I eat just to eat. I've started doing snack sized portions a couple times a day to stave off the energy depletion but not being hungry makes me forget to eat most of the time and then I end up light headed until I have some rice or something light.
I hate going to the doctor and I hate taking medication. I just forget all the time so it usually does me no good.
 
Tig said:
The realization of possibly developing something like Alzheimer's hit me in the gut for the rest of the holiday weekend. This scares me more than death by a long shot.
Click to expand...

I can relate entirely to this. I know my grandma developed ALZ in her early 30s, but both of my parents died relatively young so I have no idea how serious my chances of getting it are. My Mom-in-law is starting to slip, and her mom had ALZ so it is definitely in my wife's family. Unfortunately for her I will likely be dead before she develops symptoms (I'm 17 years older than my wife), so I won't be there to help with her care should it come to that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
When my wife and I got married almost 7 years ago my one hesitation was the step-parent thing. My kids were all adults so I was done with parenting young ones. But she had a 8 year old daughter so that was not really an option. I have come to love my step-daughter as much as I love my own kids. I bend over backwards to make sure she knows I love her tons. I go to all her events. I support her in everything. I'm there if she needs anything.

But the last year or so I'm spitting into the wind. We had a good relationship for years, and now it is pretty much zero from her towards me. It isn't just the teenager thing (though a little bit of that). I see how she acts/reacts towards all the people who matter to her (Mom, Dad, Cousins, friends, Grandparents) and she does not act towards me like that at all. I know for awhile whenever her Dad was in the same vicinity as me I ceased to exist - her Dad is a Narcissist and massively insecure, so even a hint that we got along well (in a non Dad/Daughter way) would get a negative reaction from him. But it is all the time now. I get zero back from her aside from the polite responses she would give a stranger doing nice stuff for her. It is frankly getting hard to take. One option is to quit caring (the nacho kid theory - it's nacho kid so don't bother). I can't do that, it is not me. She is far too important to me. Another option is to avoid her as much as possible, but she lives with us 50% of the time so that is not an option either. I do tend to slide into mild depression on occasion and this is kicking me into that almost weekly now. I catch myself getting really angry at the situation and wanting to over-react. I am struggling to find a healthy balance of expectations vs reality. I don't know why she is acting so cold towards me all the time, but it is my current reality. I don't anticipate it changing anytime soon either. Some might say I was stupid to care as much as I do for someone who is not my kid, and maybe they are right. I will deal with this day to day and figure out what is going to work for me. I might end up seeing a family therapist at some point, but I don't think I am quite there yet.
 
bsman said:
You can't change the way someone feels/thinks about you, and trying to do so is just going to make you crazy without really accomplishing much else.
Click to expand...
I'm not trying to change her, I'm trying to change my reaction to this. That I have some degree of control over. I'm assuming she isn't going to change so I have to adjust my thinking and actions to the new normal. It's not easy though.

Sent from my moto g power (2022) using Tapatalk
 
Denverdave said:
I'm not trying to change her, I'm trying to change my reaction to this. That I have some degree of control over. I'm assuming she isn't going to change so I have to adjust my thinking and actions to the new normal. It's not easy though.

Sent from my moto g power (2022) using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

I have a friend who went through something that sounds very similar. The thing that he struggled with accepting for a while was that the root issue was his step daughter's struggle to cope with an emotionally manipulative birth-parent and not anything that he failed to do. Eventually, when the birth parent went back to being his usual absentee father-self, they were able to resume a more normal relationship. Hang in there.
 
Lerxst said:
I have a friend who went through something that sounds very similar. The thing that he struggled with accepting for a while was that the root issue was his step daughter's struggle to cope with an emotionally manipulative birth-parent and not anything that he failed to do. Eventually, when the birth parent went back to being his usual absentee father-self, they were able to resume a more normal relationship. Hang in there.
Click to expand...

That is definitely part of this. Her Dad actively works to undermine anything positive that happens in her life at our house. He cannot deal with her enjoying anything that he is not at the center of. I know she is caught up in the middle of his passive-aggressive behavior and loving her Dad she does not want to oppose that. If he says anything directly nasty towards us she will stand up to that right away, but since he knows that he manipulates her via indirect stuff all the time. It is very frustrating, but I cannot point that out to her lest I make the situation even worse - being that it would be coming from me and against her golden boy Dad. Sooner or later the lights will come on. But the waiting is the hardest part.
 
Denverdave said:
That is definitely part of this. Her Dad actively works to undermine anything positive that happens in her life at our house. He cannot deal with her enjoying anything that he is not at the center of. I know she is caught up in the middle of his passive-aggressive behavior and loving her Dad she does not want to oppose that. If he says anything directly nasty towards us she will stand up to that right away, but since he knows that he manipulates her via indirect stuff all the time. It is very frustrating, but I cannot point that out to her lest I make the situation even worse - being that it would be coming from me and against her golden boy Dad. Sooner or later the lights will come on. But the waiting is the hardest part.
Click to expand...

All of that sounds incredibly familiar. It takes a tremendous amount to strength to bite your tongue in these moments & still be open and available when the time comes.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top