Mental health check-in
- Thread starter Flamencology
- Start date
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Same.
Mojo @Denverdave
You're a step ahead of a lot of people already understanding that you can't change her mindset (at this point) so need to change your own.
Hopefully she'll eventually come around, in the meantime do your best to not let it bother you.
I'd like to hope your wife is advocating for you to the kid.
You're a step ahead of a lot of people already understanding that you can't change her mindset (at this point) so need to change your own.
Hopefully she'll eventually come around, in the meantime do your best to not let it bother you.
I'd like to hope your wife is advocating for you to the kid.
MonkeyZero
Mexican Mayonnaise Weiner Sandwich
Life is busy.
Work is full on just now. Loving it and getting to do a lot of new things but it's long hours. I usually go in between 7:30-8am because I'm up early with Lola anyway and it means I get an hour so of getting stuff done before people start coming in and time vampyring me but I'm juggling a bunch of important time intensive stuff just now so it means I'm having to catch up with the day to day stuff once people are gone. I was hoping to get away around 4 today, once I'd actually done what I needed to do it was closer to 6pm.
My DJ tax return (and payment
) is due by the 31st which kind of sucks but a couple of hours at the weekend will get that over and done with and if my bill is under £5k I'm getting a new hot tub for the new house so I'm twisting that as a positive.
As for the new place I got the living room painted this week so it's not just new build white, new radiators coming in next week and my dad will be finished getting it back to ground zero for decorating the other rooms in the next couple of weeks so we're doing good on that front. I'm trying to do even a tiny thing each day ( clear up a bit of the garden, put up a lampshade) so it feels like we're getting closer to being finished. Come Easter it'll be properly done except for the kitchen reno.
Speaking of Easter we've booked an amazing cottage on a tiny little beach for us and the dog to spend a week in come April so I've got that to look forward to.
Work is full on just now. Loving it and getting to do a lot of new things but it's long hours. I usually go in between 7:30-8am because I'm up early with Lola anyway and it means I get an hour so of getting stuff done before people start coming in and time vampyring me but I'm juggling a bunch of important time intensive stuff just now so it means I'm having to catch up with the day to day stuff once people are gone. I was hoping to get away around 4 today, once I'd actually done what I needed to do it was closer to 6pm.
My DJ tax return (and payment
) is due by the 31st which kind of sucks but a couple of hours at the weekend will get that over and done with and if my bill is under £5k I'm getting a new hot tub for the new house so I'm twisting that as a positive.As for the new place I got the living room painted this week so it's not just new build white, new radiators coming in next week and my dad will be finished getting it back to ground zero for decorating the other rooms in the next couple of weeks so we're doing good on that front. I'm trying to do even a tiny thing each day ( clear up a bit of the garden, put up a lampshade) so it feels like we're getting closer to being finished. Come Easter it'll be properly done except for the kitchen reno.
Speaking of Easter we've booked an amazing cottage on a tiny little beach for us and the dog to spend a week in come April so I've got that to look forward to.
Denverdave
Resident Ragamuffin
She is getting worse if anything, but she is slowly adding the rest of the family to the 'treat like crap' list. Interesting twist on this - last week my wife talked to her about how poorly she treats us, and me in particular. She asked if she treated her friends that way. Her response ' "Oh no, they are my second family, I could never treat them that way". But she treats her first family that way. Very 14 year old answer. But interesting insight - this is exactly how her Dad operates.
That's the long and short of it. I have no kids of my own but I'm not that far away from hitting 20 years of teaching high school. Give me boy over girl teenagers every single time.
Denverdave
Resident Ragamuffin
Social media, especially for youngsters is so toxic, even more so with our kids with their additional needs who are even less equipped to deal with it.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Time for a check in. Nearing the end of this divorcing/selling the family home road. Working on final tweaks to the divorce decree (agreed, thankfully, unless she throws me a last minute curve ball). I had the help of another attorney to help me with the papers as that is only smart, and my soon to be ex has had it reviewed by her attorney. Just putting in some last 4's of accounts and making it clear that the court has continuing jurisdiction over the house until fully sold and proceeds divided, as the house is under contract, but not closed yet. So facing some general anxiety over this, which I understand is normal. Based on my experience in my law practice, beyond what others and my counselor have said, it is pretty normal to have some emotions when the papers get to be final, even if the decision was made over a year ago and we are moving on. Also, the house sold, which is good, but not quite for what we wanted due to interest rates and people now being pickier rather than in bidding wars if we had got on the market half a year earlier. But still pretty good. So, gearing up today to make those final revisions, get the papers through, and walk on.
Mollie, who I introduced you all to above, has been through it and been really supportive and understanding. I have tried not to burden her with any old ex stuff, but she has wanted to be supportive and has been good counsel. And things between us are amazing. So that is really nice. Will be nice to put the old business to bed and restore full focus to moving forward.
Onward!!
Mollie, who I introduced you all to above, has been through it and been really supportive and understanding. I have tried not to burden her with any old ex stuff, but she has wanted to be supportive and has been good counsel. And things between us are amazing. So that is really nice. Will be nice to put the old business to bed and restore full focus to moving forward.
Onward!!
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
I am now remembering more specifically what I observed and have told clients over the years, that it is grief like the death of a thing, dreams/hopes/expectations/visions of what you thought your life would be like. So even if it is right and it is not healthy to stay with the person, there is still grief and sadness associated with it, for at least lots of people.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
And guitar lesson with Mark was good today finally. feeling like I have some focus and a plan finally to move forward and commit to a couple/few songs for an open mic or something down the road. Feels good.
MonkeyZero
Mexican Mayonnaise Weiner Sandwich
Been dealing with the aftermath of quitting drinking. It's 9 months today actually. I've lost 40 pounds and I'm starving but I have developed some weird repulsion to food. It's not all the time, only when I really need to eat something. I feel so awful that I can't bring the fork to my mouth. The bad part is I don't realize it until I already feel bad and the only thing that will make that better is eating which I am struggling with. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday to do more bloodwork (I had it done 30 days in and everything was fine, as usual. I think it's most likely a sugar issue because I just don't eat regularly. I really never have, even before I started drinking. So this is fun.
I am trying to eat something small (4 or 5 bites) at least every hour but I am terrible at it. I'm just not hungry but my body is starving. I WANT to eat and feel better but it's making me nauseous. Yes, I tried cannabis for appetite. I quit getting the munchies from that back when I was a teenager.
I am trying to eat something small (4 or 5 bites) at least every hour but I am terrible at it. I'm just not hungry but my body is starving. I WANT to eat and feel better but it's making me nauseous. Yes, I tried cannabis for appetite. I quit getting the munchies from that back when I was a teenager.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
and all of this is still true and has grown well beyond where we were when I posted this.So update. A bit syrup-y sweet. But nice.
I started seeing someone in July and she is turning out to be pretty damn awesome. We are hanging out quite a bit despite distance between Boise and the SV area (about 2.5 hours drive). I come down here to Boise often during the week, and she comes up to Hailey often on weekends. Will get challenging during ski season and I will drive a lot. She is pretty darned accomplished and is on the executive team of the Idaho Transportation Department basically in charge of their communications and public affairs and the director really leans on her as his number one at times. Gets stuff done in a hard political climate. Former Boise news anchor. Divorced several years and practical with her feet on the ground and at the same time very loving. Hoping to take this a step at a time and that this will grow and go the distance.
So yeah, I am in a good mood a lot, despite working through final stuff on divorce and trying to get our house sold.
Ok, sappy photos set forth below.
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sunvalleylaw
Yep.
No advice or anything to give, but congrats on not drinking and hoping you find the right new balance for your body in terms of blood sugar, etc.
Lerxst
spaghetti and blankets
Do they have any ideas what might be causing it?
Mojo...that sounds like a real PITA that complicated the whole process of getting healthy.
Machinegunner
fancy sound-measuring doodad
Reading this brings up some memories/feelings for me of when I went through it 10-11 years ago, getting the papers was very emotional for sure…I didn’t anticipate the impact that would have, but I remember it all very vividly. I ended up not going to work that day, I just needed to mourn. So yeah, very normal to experience those kinds of feelings as your counselor said. But I’m glad you’re in a good place now, things always improve with time and important to keep pushing forward.
And mojo to you @MonkeyZero, I inexplicably lost 50 pounds in a few months’ time a few years back and it was scary. I gained it all back eventually, thankfully.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Thank you!