Mental health check-in

I've come into this thread a few times over the last few months to comment on my own state of mind.
I always stop because I don't really know what to say.

The only way I can put it is that I really don't believe that I have any reason to feel bad, but I still feel bad.
I tend to chalk it up to being exhausted by the political and anti-vax bull shit around me.
The truth is, I am able to not think about it, until I have to, but I need to stay informed at the same time.
I think it's more than just that, anyway.

However, recently it occurred to me that not knowing why I feel bad is probably a scary thing.
Maybe. I don't know.
And the bad feeling can disappear in an instant. It mostly does go away as far as I am aware.
I don't dwell on it. It just all of a sudden occurs to me, and then I get distracted or I go to bed, or it just goes away.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
Mojo to @GomezAddams and @jbj .

I kinda feel like these mid to later mid century memories tend to be filled with way more problems related to poverty or near poverty and haves/have-nots, patriarchy, violence, bullying, misogyny and other not great stuff that colors our memories as some of us look back (I know Tacoma, a middle class port and pulp mill town with a copper smelter that went belly up) was full of those things looking back. And the prettied up Seattle I moved to for college had a prettied up (with more money and classism) version of that going on too. Whether it is Stand By Me, or John Hughes movies, those times and social mores and norms of those times don't really stand up to my current scrutiny, and it is a bit weird to feel that way. I used to feel like there was literally a "Darkness on the Edge (or center) of Town" in Tacoma when I went back after being away for school. Now when I go back, I just see the division, and economic inequities that persist, in a place that I have a soft spot for. Along with some social growth away from the old male union town vibe.
 
Last edited:
dodgechargerfan said:
I've come into this thread a few times over the last few months to comment on my own state of mind.
I always stop because I don't really know what to say.

The only way I can put it is that I really don't believe that I have any reason to feel bad, but I still feel bad.
I tend to chalk it up to being exhausted by the political and anti-vax bull shit around me.
The truth is, I am able to not think about it, until I have to, but I need to stay informed at the same time.
I think it's more than just that, anyway.

However, recently it occurred to me that not knowing why I feel bad is probably a scary thing.
Maybe. I don't know.
And the bad feeling can disappear in an instant. It mostly does go away as far as I am aware.
I don't dwell on it. It just all of a sudden occurs to me, and then I get distracted or I go to bed, or it just goes away.
Click to expand...
Man, I think some of that just goes with being a human that gives a shit.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Man, I think some of that just goes with being a human that gives a shit.
Click to expand...
It never felt bad before. Not like this.

There’s usually no direct connection to the issues I mentioned. That’s just what I pin the feelings on because I can’t identify anything else.
 
dodgechargerfan said:
It never felt bad before. Not like this.

There’s usually no direct connection to the issues I mentioned. That’s just what I pin the feelings on because I can’t identify anything else.
Click to expand...
Mojo to you. And maybe go check in with a pro? I know that helped for me, and though I still don't always feel awesome, as there is a lot to worry about, at least I can feel ok about why I am feeling bad, and put a better finger on it. So, not my business, but I encourage you to do so to help you untangle it a bit.
 
Also, very hard counseling with my wife today. Still moving forward. Not easy. Getting into the tough stuff on our lists, and pushing through. Hopefully it all works out. A lot depends on what she decides in terms of what she is willing to invest in us moving forward, as I am not looking for a roommate that shares expenses and we play cards sometimes and have someone to go to parties and events with.
 
dodgechargerfan said:
I've come into this thread a few times over the last few months to comment on my own state of mind.
I always stop because I don't really know what to say.

The only way I can put it is that I really don't believe that I have any reason to feel bad, but I still feel bad.
I tend to chalk it up to being exhausted by the political and anti-vax bull shit around me.
The truth is, I am able to not think about it, until I have to, but I need to stay informed at the same time.
I think it's more than just that, anyway.

However, recently it occurred to me that not knowing why I feel bad is probably a scary thing.
Maybe. I don't know.
And the bad feeling can disappear in an instant. It mostly does go away as far as I am aware.
I don't dwell on it. It just all of a sudden occurs to me, and then I get distracted or I go to bed, or it just goes away.
Click to expand...

I was diagnosed with dysthymia years ago. Used to be called depressive personality disorder. Saw a therapist for a while. It helped a lot. It can be treated with medication. I opted not to go that route, but learned a lot about myself doing the therapy thing. The diagnosis gave me some comfort knowing that’s just how my brain works.
 
I've been in and out of therapy for several decades (major depressive and generalized anxiety disorders), and for the last 6 months or so have been trying out medication for the first time ever. The only downside is that it makes me sad that I didn't try meds years ago. (not to downplay the benefits of therapy, that has, and will continue to help a lot as well)
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Mojo to @GomezAddams and @jbj .
Click to expand...

No need for mojo in my direction mate, there's a few things work wise that are aggravating just now but nothing I can do about them so no use stressing about them.

I've just not had much motivation to do anything recently and had fallen into a boring daily cycle but that's largely down to the time of year.

I do need to shift a bit of weight and look after myself better so this will help.

That was a good one today. 40 minutes round the park at a brisk pace playing dodgem with some other dogs Lola didn't like being near her :grin:

Home, changed, breakfast and away to work at a time where sometimes I'm just getting out bed. It's set me up for a good day.
 
One positive side of staying with my mother: I found a couple of my old hot wheels that I enjoyed so much as a child. Now if I could just find my Lincoln Logs and my erector set...
upload_2022-2-28_10-43-58.png


At one time the bug was worth a bit of money. Turns out the clear windshield and metal motor are somewhat rare. They switched to an opaque plastic for the windshield and plastic for the motor after the first production run to save money.
 
We're making a cross-country move in early May, so mental health is off the table for me right now...
 
Ok, feeling like I am in some weird dystopian struggle right now. My personal life, overall anyway, is going decently. My wife and I are working on our things and finding common ground, making new plans to try to draw closer in our emotional and intimate life, etc. Good. Kids are all doing decently, and at least engaged in positive things to move forward. (But with an asterisk on our trans kid for obvious reasons). Career is doing very well, and I am successfully moving away from the parts of law practice I hate and building a new practice, starting to make a new schedule that allows for growth and time in other areas of my life. All good.

BUT

First of all, the State of Idaho has just passed a horrible law regarding abortion, and the House passed an even worse anti-trans law. The anti-trans one hopefully will not make it through to law, but the abortion one has, as long as the governor signs it as he is expected to. SO, I may have to consider blowing up this life I finally feel is coming together and move. We are both self employed, and it would be really hard to rebuild practices at this point. But fighting the supermajority power in this state is going to be super difficult, at best, and change looks to be a long ways off.

We have great friends here in our bubble, wonderful natural resources and connection to nature, ability to not have to drive a lot of the time and still get out on trails, in nature, etc., nice arts, etc. It is a great little bubble in a whack job state. That we might have to leave. Or, gut it out for 10 or so more years until more of a retirement age. Or try to start over in say CO where they just passed abortion protection, but that starting over would be really hard.

Anyway, just feeling overwhelmed by it at the moment. I think some rest, time to consider things, and some nature time is in order and hopefully the path will become clearer.
 
Well, that was certainly a well needed surprise. Last night I was sitting at a stop light pretty bummed out at the latest turn of events in my life. I glanced over and noticed a White Castle and decided to treat myself. As I was waiting in the drive through line, I noticed the guy in front of me had a pickup with a small towing boom installed. I also noticed that unless he cut his wheels, the boom would most likely catch the awning over the drive through kiosk. I jumped out of my vehicle and gave him the heads up that he needed to maneuver a bit to avoid catching the awning.

He thanked me, then we proceeded to pick up our respective orders of wonderfulness. When I got up to the window to pay, they told me the vehicle in front of me paid for my order.

I've never had that happen before, and it happened at exactly when it needed to. I guess karma sometimes works the other way too at times.
 
I wouldn't describe White Castle as wonderfulness. Sustenance in a pinch maybe. But occasionally, one does crave a couple.
 
Been a weighty few months; at the moment direction is positive. For anyone who’s had a spouse pass away (was 57 when she passed, together since we were 14) do you stop feeling alone even when you are with people you love? I’m in a relationship with a wonderful woman but man it’s weird, cold and alone will just hit me at weird times. I’m not suicidal, I just remember who’s not here and it’s just like it happened yesterday all over again. I have so many good memories of my past life and find myself recalling them and even laughing out loud. I miss her.
 
DinoMikeSr said:
Been a weighty few months; at the moment direction is positive. For anyone who’s had a spouse pass away (was 57 when she passed, together since we were 14) do you stop feeling alone even when you are with people you love? I’m in a relationship with a wonderful woman but man it’s weird, cold and alone will just hit me at weird times. I’m not suicidal, I just remember who’s not here and it’s just like it happened yesterday all over again. I have so many good memories of my past life and find myself recalling them and even laughing out loud. I miss her.
Click to expand...
It's strange to hit "like" but we don't really have a "I feel for you, bro" button at this time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top