Mental health check-in

So, one thing I've learned over the pandemic, ironically through TikTok, is that I'm likely pretty heavily ADHD. Basically all the symptoms that people talk about in their videos (which led me to other sources) are things I struggle with.

I just have an actual evaluation appointment with a professional coming up later this month.
 
School starts back on Thursday. I'm not anxious but I'm well into weird dreams season.

Usually it's the token no clothes / forgotten something important / at a gig with stage fright type stuff. I'm into making my own pizzas just now so last night I dreamt that I couldn't roll out a decent crust no matter how hard I tried :grin: :facepalm:
 
I couldn't make it to a concert due to recovering from foot surgery, and it was last minute and too short a time to sell the tix, so at the last minute was able to give them away to a nephew of a friend. She posted this for me. Now, I know I am wired to rely a little too much on affirmation from others and am trying to develop more internal motivation, self care and self love, but still, this did feel good to wake up and see today.

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Work is going down hill. We have been profitable but my current supervisor is a micro-managing, credit stealing, incompetent who has no idea what they are doing and relies on others to justify their job. My wife found out she (my wife, not my supervisor) is the only Executive Director in the company to not get the Regional CEO position for our area. She designed this program 100%. The other ED's just direct. We get it, I can't report to her, her sister who is our Group DON of Florida can't report to her, so in return we all get a babysitter who eats into our operational budget for basically no reason.
We are looking for something else. We love this work. LOVE IT. But the mental stress is going to put us in the program, not make the program better.
 
MonkeyZero said:
Work is going down hill. We have been profitable but my current supervisor is a micro-managing, credit stealing, incompetent who has no idea what they are doing and relies on others to justify their job. My wife found out she (my wife, not my supervisor) is the only Executive Director in the company to not get the Regional CEO position for our area. She designed this program 100%. The other ED's just direct. We get it, I can't report to her, her sister who is our Group DON of Florida can't report to her, so in return we all get a babysitter who eats into our operational budget for basically no reason.
We are looking for something else. We love this work. LOVE IT. But the mental stress is going to put us in the program, not make the program better.
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:(
 
I'm feeling the weight of Covid part Deux. Mainly anxiety over our kids who arent eligible for vaccines yet. Our 5 yr old has asthma and actually had to be hospitalized with pneumonia from the common cold back in the days before covid. She's starting kindergarten in 2 weeks. Fortunately her school mandates masking for all and our state is doing better than most with vaccines and the delta surge. But it's gonna be a harrowing few months until kid vaccines are available.

And we're trying to look out for her mental health through all this. It's a big scary thing that she only kinda understands, but she knows she's higher risk and needs to wear a mask when other kids don't. And she had to miss a lot of preschool because of Covid, so the idea of a classroom setting and a bunch of new kids is stressful.

She's into ninja stuff so we checked out a martial arts school yesterday. We thought it would also help with some social interaction and self confidence. She did an initial lesson/evaluation with the instructor and it went great. She already had some basics and was very focused and willing to take instruction. He thought she would be a great student and she was loving the praise. Problem is, it's masks optional and nobody was wearing them. So we gotta put that off for a few months.

I cant WAIT until there's a vaccines for kids. I think that'll feel like some kind of finish line for us. It's been neverending stress trying to balance the kids' physical health against their mental health and developmental needs, with both of those things having enormous consequences if we get it wrong.

I just hope going through this thing at such an impressionable age doesn't cause them mental health issues on down the road. :frown:
 
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I seem to be entering another depressive episode. Not sure what's happening. No motivation. Don't want to eat. All I want to do is sleep. Occasional boughts of feeling suicidal (this is normal for me and I'm not in danger). Just generally feeling fuqed up. It will pass, but I'm so damn tired of living with severe depression.
 
PunkKitty said:
I seem to be entering another depressive episode. Not sure what's happening. No motivation. Don't want to eat. All I want to do is sleep. Occasional boughts of feeling suicidal (this is normal for me and I'm not in danger). Just generally feeling fuqed up. It will pass, but I'm so damn tired of living with severe depression.
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Sending mojo.
 
PunkKitty said:
I seem to be entering another depressive episode. Not sure what's happening. No motivation. Don't want to eat. All I want to do is sleep. Occasional boughts of feeling suicidal (this is normal for me and I'm not in danger). Just generally feeling fuqed up. It will pass, but I'm so damn tired of living with severe depression.
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Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. I hope you have someone to talk to. We love you PK!!
 
Mark Wein said:
I think I feel like playing music again.
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Nice. I picked up the dulcimer last night for the first time since my foot surgery a week ago Wednesday, and really enjoyed trying to work on rhythm and the chord progression for that Joni Mitchell song. It is slow coming, but I will get there. I have to keep my foot up still, so the dulcimer resting on arms of a chair is easier than the guitar right now. Never have really been able to play with my feet up laying back all Jimmy Buffet style.

After I was playing a bit, I was reminding myself that like mindfulness or meditation, even as simple as a youtube vid there, or a walk, I always feel more myself, and more grounded, after I play just a little bit. But, that does not stop me sometimes from finding it hard to pick up an instrument and get started.
 
I’m on my 12th consecutive day of work. I was up until 1AM fucking with bullshit to call people on their baloney. Been living in a hotel in a bullshit city for a week and I’ll be here through Saturday. Nothing works. New issues every day. Probably gonna have to come back and do it all again in a few weeks unless tech team pulls a rabbit out of its ass this afternoon.

So doing great.

I’m the goddamn Colonel Kurtz of this bullshit job.
 
MonkeyZero said:
Work is going down hill. We have been profitable but my current supervisor is a micro-managing, credit stealing, incompetent who has no idea what they are doing and relies on others to justify their job. My wife found out she (my wife, not my supervisor) is the only Executive Director in the company to not get the Regional CEO position for our area. She designed this program 100%. The other ED's just direct. We get it, I can't report to her, her sister who is our Group DON of Florida can't report to her, so in return we all get a babysitter who eats into our operational budget for basically no reason.
We are looking for something else. We love this work. LOVE IT. But the mental stress is going to put us in the program, not make the program better.
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I'm quoting myself because it'll make sense.
They terminated my shitty boss and made my wife interim CEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the down side we lost money last month due to a new bad debt calculation so when a payor hits 270 days the balance gets written off. We have a payor that owes us $145k and it fell off in July. That was a fun phone call with the COO.
 
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