Mental health check-in

Mojo sent. A couple weeks back I had my blood pressure med dosage doubled. For years and years it was 25 mg daily, basically the absolute minimum. It's now up to 100. I dislike meds but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
 
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Posted this over in my pedal board thread. @reverend1 makes a good point. for the purposes of dialing in some tone and playing. But I got to thinking that this quest I am on has other purposes as well, such as bringing myself present and listening to things in my gear, like I did when I first learned Barre chords and tried to learn how to shape them and fret them so I could make every string ring clearly. It was meditative to me, and I suck at traditional meditation, especially solo. Well, I am a little better now.

But replacing thoughts is a lot easier than banishing them. For me. So this deep diving over complicating thing has some other purposes relevant to this thread as well. All things considered.

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I've been back and forth all day. This was a tough one on me. Knowing someone who has been through so much and then we help them to get better only to be cut short. It will take a while to get through this. Distractions only last so long.
I've been writing today. Trying to put my thoughts into song. It helps. It has been said that emotion drives the soul and the creativity. Maybe I can make something good of this. Maybe.
 
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I've never had/felt so much stress in my life as I feel now.

Work? Nope.
Marriage? Nope.
Family? Nope.
Money? Nope.
Oral health? Little bit.
The larger geopolitical issues facing our nation at a level unprecedented in my lifetime? So fucking YES!

I was seriously managing pretty well until RBG died. My mental health has never been so far from baseline. The implications of a certain outcome of the election are devastating on so many levels, not the least of which is either actually addressing the pandemic or continuing to essentially ignore it. The politicization of COVID-19 has been disgusting and terrifying. It's real, more people are getting it, exposure isn't 100% preventing reinfection, herd immunity hasn't been work where it's been tried, still clocking in about 1,000 deaths a day, the CDC is being twisted and/or muted, and so much more.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of the above, this is what's damaging my mental health. I'm not trying to stir a pot and I'm only talking about reality. Dependent upon the outcome of this election, things are either going to massively improve or get a lot worse. I cannot believe where we are and that there is so much disagreement about how we got here and how we get back to the previous notions of normal. But improved...and I'll stop there to avoid diving deeper into the verboten discussion chasm.
 
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Dogsinotpalc said:
I've never had/felt so much stress in my life as I feel now.

Work? Nope.
Marriage? Nope.
Family? Nope.
Money? Nope.
Oral health? Little bit.
The larger geopolitical issues facing our nation at a level unprecedented in my lifetime? So fucking YES!

I was seriously managing pretty well until RBG died. My mental health has never been so far from baseline. The implications of a certain outcome of the election are devastating on so many levels, not the least of which is either actually addressing the pandemic or continuing to essentially ignore it. The politicization of COVID-19 has been disgusting and terrifying. It's real, more people are getting it, exposure isn't 100% preventing reinfection, herd immunity hasn't been work where it's been tried, still clocking in about 1,000 deaths a day, the CDC is being twisted and/or muted, and so much more.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of the above, this is what's damaging my mental health. I'm not trying to stir a pot and I'm only talking about reality. Dependent upon the outcome of this election, things are either going to massively improve or get a lot worse. I cannot believe where we are and that there is so much disagreement about how we got and how we get back to the previous notions of normal. But improved...and I'll stop there to avoid diving deeper into the verboten discussion chasm.
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Dude, I’m more stressed about Tuesday than I am about speaking with my chemo oncologist this week. No joke.
 
Who knew raking/blowing leaves could be cathartic? I got out early and since no one was using gas-powered blowers went old school and raked some mounds I left from yesterday. Nice to have a little quiet time. Leaves still wet as hell and heavy. I rake them on a tarp and put out for the township to suck up, but some of the very back I burned, very slowly albeit, still burning in a steady rain.

Also stacked some firewood I split a while back.
 
surfsteve said:
Who knew raking/blowing leaves could be cathartic? I got out early and since no one was using gas-powered blowers went old school and raked some mounds I left from yesterday. Nice to have a little quiet time. Leaves still wet as hell and heavy. I rake them on a tarp and put out for the township to suck up, but some of the very back I burned, very slowly albeit, still burning in a steady rain.

Also stacked some firewood I split a while back.
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Stacking is less fun than splitting. But yeah, that stuff can be good. Good, clean tired after.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Stacking is less fun than splitting. But yeah, that stuff can be good. Good, clean tired after.
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I bought a gas-powered splitter a while back, it's a champ and sorta saves times, but I've gotten a few mauls, and with oak and straight-grained woods, it's a good workout and almost as fast as the gas-powered splitter. All depending on what's aching and paining at the moment.

When I was raking today, a lot of stupid thoughts entered my mind. Most notable was taking Neil Young's "Lotta Love" and singing "I'm gonna rake a lotta leaves". Stupid, I know, but it made work more enjoyable.
 
rhino said:
Might I suggest a jazz bath? I’ve got some good recommendations for records
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Yeah, let’s share some. I am in the mood for some Miles, for one thing.

I have contributed some last donations in the last several days, ending this morning with a small one to Pennsylvania, almost as a superstitious tithing. But I did it anyway, just cuz I could, and it was one more thing I could do.

I am doing some phone banking this afternoon and tomorrow as well, locally, to track down absentee ballots that have not been submitted yet. Info available about Dems, through the local Dems. doing all I can.

So, will get some actual work done, listen to some music, and explore some triads with Mark via recorded lesson on YouTube. And try to keep my head occupied. It will not be over tomorrow night officially anyway, so I might as well try not to think about it constantly.

 
I have a board of directors meeting this week that has the potential be career-limiting or ending for the CEO and I (operations director). We've got a Japanese company as a major funder who seem to be in some sort of pissing match with one of our US funders and have completely changed their tune over the past couple of weeks. It's going to be rocky.

Then, I get to wake up tomorrow to face another, national nightmare . This is not going to be my favorite week.
 
surfsteve said:
Who knew raking/blowing leaves could be cathartic? I got out early and since no one was using gas-powered blowers went old school and raked some mounds I left from yesterday. Nice to have a little quiet time. Leaves still wet as hell and heavy. I rake them on a tarp and put out for the township to suck up, but some of the very back I burned, very slowly albeit, still burning in a steady rain.

Also stacked some firewood I split a while back.
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For me, a few hours of vigorous yard work always works out any frustration or anger.
 
Back from a careful (distant and masked) house call to an elder for some guardianship related work on her behalf. She is a treasure. A treasure I say! Her favorite saying is "Life is a Beautiful Ride!" as she was a cyclist and tourer for most of her life, an educator by trade. She is 98 now, and still finding enjoyment in life, though Covid-19 is hard.

Anyway, back to the home office and Steamin'!


Gonna keep this jazz bath going.
 
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