Mental health check-in

I mostly stick in the guitar and amp forums, so I'd just seen this. Mojo to all who need, especially Monica.

When this shit started, both my adult kids lived at Casa Krashpad. Son is a greengrocer at Publix, and moved out since he deals with the public as an essential worker, and I am immunocompromised as a result of post-cancer health complications (missing lymph nodes, weekend antibiotics), to help protect me. Daughter had just graduated school but is still home, looking for work despite being certified as as invasive cardiovascular technologist. Ironic, but the plague is making it harder to get a health care job. At least for the time being, in that field. Of course, by being unemployed at least she is not getting exposed. So there's that.

Mrs. Krashpad is a teacher, or media specialist (librarian) anyhow, in a public school. Right now, Florida is one of the most dangerous places in the world for coronavirus, as a result of our idiot Trumpist Governor. She is SERIOUSLY considering retiring rather than going back, if the schools reopen, brick and mortar, in August. She has a probable post-retirement office job lined up with the teachers' union if she does retire, but still it's a SUPER stressful time for her, since the whole school sitch here is a ridiculous clusterfuck.

Fortunately my antisocial tendencies have finally paid dividends. When the firm, The Law Source, I worked for (since 1984) and co-0wned, dissolved at the end of 2012, I started "telecommuting" to a firm (one of our former TLS clients) down in Ft. Myers, four or five hours south of here. That lasted until early 2018, when a bunch of (other) people quit the Ft. Myers firm, and I was made redundant. Fortunately during those 5 years, I stayed in touch with some other TLS clients around the state, and did side work for them on the weekends. So since 2018, I've been a sole practitioner, but doing the same thing I've always done, and the Ft. Myers firm went from being my full-time employer to one of my clients. My overall income dropped as a result, but since Casa Krashpad's mortgage is paid off, it hasn't been too bad. And since I've been working from home since 1/1/2013 anyhow, my day to day routine is about the same. I just don't go to the credit union in person when the checks come in.

My osteradionecrosis has been slowly advancing, and that's not good. I had my lower left jaw rebuilt with a piece of hipbone and some ankle veins five years ago, and then the neck flesh on that side rebuilt with my left pectoral muscle from my chest. So I am pretty (pardon the pun) disfigured, and have long since given up going out in public without a shemagh, or neckerchief, scarf, or neck gaiter, covering it up. Which I'll admit has not been easy on me psychologically. But at least, now I don't leave the house, so no harm, no foul. And instead of being the ridiculous age 60-something guy that still calls himself Krashpad, now I'm all that plus the guy in the ridiculous scarf thingies. So, lucky to have already been ridiculous I reckon. At any rate, the advancing osteoradionecrosis means that the bone breakdown in my head has resulted in a hole between the back of my mouth and my sinus cavity. Supposed to have that bit checked on in hospital on August 7, but sorry, they're fucked if they think I'm getting within 5 miles of a hospital in Florida right now.

So the health thing is pretty up in the air. Fortunately all the operations cut a lot of nerves, so I'm only in a low-level constant pain, rather than anything debilitating that I can't handle. (Pain mojo to Tig!) I have a big ass bottle of hydrocodone w/an as-needed Rx, but rarely if ever take a dose. I can always self-medicate with beer, and fortunately Total Wine & More™ delivers. so every 3 weeks I get a big-ass delivery and I'm good to go.

94880105_10158194164283879_4640806506579623936_o.jpg

Good to have you check in Brian. Do you still have that gorgeous tiger burst Warmoth strat?

Thursday morning we'll hear about the school situation so I'll at least have some clarity on what the score is with work - this is going on 6 months since I've put a shift in and I really want to get back to some sort of daily structure and routine even though it's going to absolutely suck trying to make things work in a workplace that social distancing and extensive hygiene isn't feasible.
 
Overal is fine but shor term my left knee has been killing me for about a week, pulled muscle or something, nort really in the knee but feels like a pull in the ligaments/muscles around it and just kinda dull pain 24/7 so that's kinda got me in an agitated mood :embarrassed: then work load is bonkers but I guess can't really complain cuz it's job security but still I can't even stay awake past 8 pm any more just wiped out every day...lost a socket today when i dropped my ratchet and it flew off somewhere. I hate losing tools and normally don't but the boss is a packrat so the shop is cluttered with parts galore...you lay something down and yer looking for it for the next 20 minutes :mad:...then my 6 inch extension broke but that will be under warranty when the Matco guy comes on Thursday.....first world problems for the most part.

As an amateur car fixer I can't tell you how many sockets I have rolling around the skidplate of my BMW
 
Good to have you check in Brian. Do you still have that gorgeous tiger burst Warmoth strat?

Thanks. And sorry-- not me with the Warmoth! I've had 4 or 5 Strats over the years, but not that'un.

Good luck with work. This school sitch is insane. And whenever the D.C. administration doesn't like what they hear from the CDC, they actually actively spread disinformation, such as their recent, non-medical, non-scientific re-write (by White House staffers!) of back-to-school "guidelines."

There is now such a thing a "negligent genocide." And our gubmint dunnit.
 
One thing I try to always live by, you can't always control your circumstances, but you can control your reactions to them.

I like that and kind of related, I'm just about to text my wine guy and tell him to stop messaging me when he gets stuff in.

I've been drinking out of boredom throughout this which is obviously not a great hobby to pick up during a time of heightened stress and emotions. Having a bunch of wine lying around just makes it too easy.
 
I mostly stick in the guitar and amp forums, so I'd just seen this. Mojo to all who need, especially Monica.

When this shit started, both my adult kids lived at Casa Krashpad. Son is a greengrocer at Publix, and moved out since he deals with the public as an essential worker, and I am immunocompromised as a result of post-cancer health complications (missing lymph nodes, weekend antibiotics), to help protect me. Daughter had just graduated school but is still home, looking for work despite being certified as as invasive cardiovascular technologist. Ironic, but the plague is making it harder to get a health care job. At least for the time being, in that field. Of course, by being unemployed at least she is not getting exposed. So there's that.

Mrs. Krashpad is a teacher, or media specialist (librarian) anyhow, in a public school. Right now, Florida is one of the most dangerous places in the world for coronavirus, as a result of our idiot Trumpist Governor. She is SERIOUSLY considering retiring rather than going back, if the schools reopen, brick and mortar, in August. She has a probable post-retirement office job lined up with the teachers' union if she does retire, but still it's a SUPER stressful time for her, since the whole school sitch here is a ridiculous clusterfuck.

Fortunately my antisocial tendencies have finally paid dividends. When the firm, The Law Source, I worked for (since 1984) and co-0wned, dissolved at the end of 2012, I started "telecommuting" to a firm (one of our former TLS clients) down in Ft. Myers, four or five hours south of here. That lasted until early 2018, when a bunch of (other) people quit the Ft. Myers firm, and I was made redundant. Fortunately during those 5 years, I stayed in touch with some other TLS clients around the state, and did side work for them on the weekends. So since 2018, I've been a sole practitioner, but doing the same thing I've always done, and the Ft. Myers firm went from being my full-time employer to one of my clients. My overall income dropped as a result, but since Casa Krashpad's mortgage is paid off, it hasn't been too bad. And since I've been working from home since 1/1/2013 anyhow, my day to day routine is about the same. I just don't go to the credit union in person when the checks come in.

My osteradionecrosis has been slowly advancing, and that's not good. I had my lower left jaw rebuilt with a piece of hipbone and some ankle veins five years ago, and then the neck flesh on that side rebuilt with my left pectoral muscle from my chest. So I am pretty (pardon the pun) disfigured, and have long since given up going out in public without a shemagh, or neckerchief, scarf, or neck gaiter, covering it up. Which I'll admit has not been easy on me psychologically. But at least, now I don't leave the house, so no harm, no foul. And instead of being the ridiculous age 60-something guy that still calls himself Krashpad, now I'm all that plus the guy in the ridiculous scarf thingies. So, lucky to have already been ridiculous I reckon. At any rate, the advancing osteoradionecrosis means that the bone breakdown in my head has resulted in a hole between the back of my mouth and my sinus cavity. Supposed to have that bit checked on in hospital on August 7, but sorry, they're fucked if they think I'm getting within 5 miles of a hospital in Florida right now.

So the health thing is pretty up in the air. Fortunately all the operations cut a lot of nerves, so I'm only in a low-level constant pain, rather than anything debilitating that I can't handle. (Pain mojo to Tig!) I have a big ass bottle of hydrocodone w/an as-needed Rx, but rarely if ever take a dose. I can always self-medicate with beer, and fortunately Total Wine & More™ delivers. so every 3 weeks I get a big-ass delivery and I'm good to go.

94880105_10158194164283879_4640806506579623936_o.jpg

I'm happy for your blessings, and sad for the setbacks.

And that is an absolutely beautiful guitar. I'd love to knock out 'Chinese Rocks' or 'Looking for a Kiss' on it.
 
i have been doing great all things considered. we are supposed to play a show outside in 2 weeks and just having something to look forward to has been very uplifting.
 
I slept in until about 11am this morning, which isn’t like me.

Not depressed, but anxiety goes straight to my body, especially my neck, shoulders, and upper back. I’m sore, tired, and physically exhausted. Blame it on the dogs and the kayaks. :lol:

Gonna try to take a couple of days relaxing. Will possibly book a massage or something.
 
Fucking tired. Tired of other people’s being bad at stuff. Tired of simultaneously pretending that the show must go on and reckoning with the constant secondhand doomscrolling. I struggle with existential-grade boredom and this everything-all-the-time world is booooooooooooring. Watching the collapse happen in real time is a drag. And only really getting to deal with coworkers as my primary social outlet is the worst because I largely hate jobs/coworkers, philosophically speaking. Plus it is summer and summer blows.

So it’s mostly business as usual, just more of it.
 
I also made the mistake of half-assedly watching a documentary about everyday life in Saxon England so I’m now highly attuned to the extent to which existence is tedious suffering and chores until greatly (but irrationally) feared inevitable non-existence occurs.
 
I’m struggling with the fact that I haven’t started any of my home projects that I thought I’d have time to do now with the covid restrictions. I have upped my bicycling miles to a modest 100 miles a week now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
I also made the mistake of half-assedly watching a documentary about everyday life in Saxon England so I’m now highly attuned to the extent to which existence is tedious suffering and chores until greatly (but irrationally) feared inevitable non-existence occurs.

During that period with 30 year human life expectancy, people made it through with alcohol and religion. At least according to Religion and the Decline of Magic author Keith Thomas. Cheers and praise God!
 
During that period with 30 year human life expectancy, people made it through with alcohol and religion. At least according to Religion and the Decline of Magic author Keith Thomas. Cheers and praise God!

Quite dated now, like any 50-year-old academic work. But still a very good read.
 
Great. I just caught mind herpes again. Who let Foxy Voxy in the sex dungeon this time?

I think the mind herpes started with this:

Fucking tired. Tired of other people’s being bad at stuff. Tired of simultaneously pretending that the show must go on and reckoning with the constant secondhand doomscrolling. I struggle with existential-grade boredom and this everything-all-the-time world is booooooooooooring. Watching the collapse happen in real time is a drag. And only really getting to deal with coworkers as my primary social outlet is the worst because I largely hate jobs/coworkers, philosophically speaking. Plus it is summer and summer blows.
 
Schools back open on 11th of August, possibly part time to gear up but full time by the 18th :thu:

Feeling a lot better that I actually know what's happening with my work even if it's still going to be a clusterfuck pragmatically.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
Back
Top