Mental health check-in

My mental health has improved by getting some good bike rides in, and by returning to some work productivity last week. I think the week before, either the virus, or anxiety, or both, had hold of me and I couldn’t get a whole lot done, despite trying, which made the mental health worse that week.

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No one anywhere around, so buff pulled down for extra air during the climb.
 
I recently went through an online therapy session, well, it was like a month, just how it works out, but I had been having really bad anxiety and panic attacks and thought I had it about under control and then all this shit went down. Work pays for one session of online therapy a year, but it was nice having a stranger to talk to and just tell everything that was bugging me. Wish I could hook that up again right now, but at $65/week that's a little steep. I mean, if I had it, I would definitely indulge, but discretionary income is low despite the fact that we're both still getting paid full time. Definitely lucky, and not a lot to complain about, but the uncertainty of everything is grating on my weakened mental immunity.

Should have taken advantage of the few weeks between therapy and lockdown to do some of that emotional preventative maintenance I kept saying I was gonna do :facepalm:

Now I figured I'd check in with all you fine folk instead of working on a paper for school. Yeah, I'm back in school, trying to finish up an associates online so I can transfer to do a bachelors online. I wasn't good at school the first time around, I don't know what made me think I could do better this time, but it seems that I am so far. Fingers crossed.
 
I am currently having a hypomanic episode. Today I have spent around 50 minutes walking the dogs and doing a Pimsleur Japanese lesson, gone to four grocery stores, cleaned up dog poop in the yard, mowed the lawn, and cooked dinner. Also I am gorging on carbs—I had rice and a Vietnamese sesame rice ball with dinner, then ate a ball of mochi, and now I’m drinking a sweet turmeric latte. And despite taking a handful of tranquilizers I want to punch a hole in the wall.
 
jp_nyc said:
I am currently having a hypomanic episode. Today I have spent around 50 minutes walking the dogs and doing a Pimsleur Japanese lesson, gone to four grocery stores, cleaned up dog poop in the yard, mowed the lawn, and cooked dinner. Also I am gorging on carbs—I had rice and a Vietnamese sesame rice ball with dinner, then ate a ball of mochi, and now I’m drinking a sweet turmeric latte. And despite taking a handful of tranquilizers I want to punch a hole in the wall.
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Yikes! Stay safe. Hypomania can be bad.
 
jp_nyc said:
I am currently having a hypomanic episode. Today I have spent around 50 minutes walking the dogs and doing a Pimsleur Japanese lesson, gone to four grocery stores, cleaned up dog poop in the yard, mowed the lawn, and cooked dinner. Also I am gorging on carbs—I had rice and a Vietnamese sesame rice ball with dinner, then ate a ball of mochi, and now I’m drinking a sweet turmeric latte. And despite taking a handful of tranquilizers I want to punch a hole in the wall.
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Take good care! I have no idea how, and have no advice. But please just remember your good basic self care steps and take care!
 
sunvalleylaw said:
We still have received fucking nothing. Zip. No stimulus. No small business aid. No unenjoyment. Not one fucking ounce of help, other than our mortgage company agreeing to send us paperwork regarding postponing a few months of mortgage payments.
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It is a mess. A co-worker hasn't seen a dime.
His dad,zip.

A friend got $4k so far.
Total clusterfuck.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
We still have received fucking nothing. Zip. No stimulus. No small business aid. No unenjoyment. Not one fucking ounce of help, other than our mortgage company agreeing to send us paperwork regarding postponing a few months of mortgage payments.
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I've been getting my regular unemployment and the extra $600. My wife works part time as an independent contractor and that's screwed everything up and she's received nothing in six weeks.
 
Yeah. This stimulus/PPP thing is a shitshow. Who knew that rolling out a massive program with no administrative apparatus would blow?

Mojo for all who need it. Maybe by 2025 things will suck less under President Post Malone
 
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Last week was a good week, much better than the week before.

Still got jobs to do around the house but I got up today and spent an hour doing some online courses via Education Scotland. It was pretty easy to do and killed an hour so I'll do more. If nothing else, it's good for the C.V. and I'm sure management are going to be asking what CPD people managed to do during this down time - I'll have a nice, certified record of it that links to my professional learning file.

I finally finished a level in Red Dead Redemption 2 I've completed twice already and it didn't save! Not one for the record books but it was really annoying me having to do it another time so I'm glad I did it.

Letting lunch settle then I'm going to dust off the p90x DVDs. Not looking forward to that but I need to get some exercise in and lack of time isn't an excuse now. :embarrassed:
 
It's the end of the month so this week is going to be pretty crazy for me and my wife. Census is building again but April has been really bad. Not looking forward to the month end review when we get berated for things totally out of our control and clearly due to the pandemic. It is what it is but it is/will put a ton of stress on my wife and that translates into stress for me.
 
S'been a rough time. My dad died about 10 days ago (Alzheimer's, not COVID), and I've been in a surreal depression ever since. I wasn't able to go up and see him again as planned because of the pandemic, and now it's too late. There wasn't a funeral because of the travel restrictions. My step-mom didn't want to do a Zoom service, and I don't blame her. We're planning a graveside service when this pandemic is over, but who knows when that'll be. Really depends on your definition of "over," I suppose.

I know it's something that a lot of people are dealing with right now -- a loss without closure. Instead of the purposeful distractions of dealing with funeral arrangements, sending flowers, airing out that old black suit from the back of the closet, finding a clean white shirt, writing up some remarks for the service, you're stuck at home, sitting around and grieving.
 
Along with some other organizational things, simple stuff, like picking up my work space, making an overall to do list, mapping out some sort of priorities, and daily priorities, not sure what else to try. That, and exercise every day, is what seems to work for me. And self forgiveness. I can’t do it all, and I forgive myself for that. And it will never all be done. Until my time is, and someone else picks up whatever needs to be. Meanwhile, I keep keeping on. @Danhedonia

Liz, as imperfect as she was (which is encouraging to me), had this right I think.

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Tralfaz said:
S'been a rough time. My dad died about 10 days ago (Alzheimer's, not COVID), and I've been in a surreal depression ever since. I wasn't able to go up and see him again as planned because of the pandemic, and now it's too late. There wasn't a funeral because of the travel restrictions. My step-mom didn't want to do a Zoom service, and I don't blame her. We're planning a graveside service when this pandemic is over, but who knows when that'll be. Really depends on your definition of "over," I suppose.

I know it's something that a lot of people are dealing with right now -- a loss without closure. Instead of the purposeful distractions of dealing with funeral arrangements, sending flowers, airing out that old black suit from the back of the closet, finding a clean white shirt, writing up some remarks for the service, you're stuck at home, sitting around and grieving.
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Ugh. I am so sorry to hear this. Sending love and warm wishes. Hoping your family ends up with a time for closure and healing soon.
 
Tralfaz said:
S'been a rough time. My dad died about 10 days ago (Alzheimer's, not COVID), and I've been in a surreal depression ever since. I wasn't able to go up and see him again as planned because of the pandemic, and now it's too late. There wasn't a funeral because of the travel restrictions. My step-mom didn't want to do a Zoom service, and I don't blame her. We're planning a graveside service when this pandemic is over, but who knows when that'll be. Really depends on your definition of "over," I suppose.

I know it's something that a lot of people are dealing with right now -- a loss without closure. Instead of the purposeful distractions of dealing with funeral arrangements, sending flowers, airing out that old black suit from the back of the closet, finding a clean white shirt, writing up some remarks for the service, you're stuck at home, sitting around and grieving.
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Condolences
 
Tralfaz said:
S'been a rough time. My dad died about 10 days ago (Alzheimer's, not COVID), and I've been in a surreal depression ever since. I wasn't able to go up and see him again as planned because of the pandemic, and now it's too late. There wasn't a funeral because of the travel restrictions. My step-mom didn't want to do a Zoom service, and I don't blame her. We're planning a graveside service when this pandemic is over, but who knows when that'll be. Really depends on your definition of "over," I suppose.

I know it's something that a lot of people are dealing with right now -- a loss without closure. Instead of the purposeful distractions of dealing with funeral arrangements, sending flowers, airing out that old black suit from the back of the closet, finding a clean white shirt, writing up some remarks for the service, you're stuck at home, sitting around and grieving.
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Condolences, man. :(
 
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