So my wife and I want to quit our band...

Tell them you're looking to do other things. Promise to cover the dates you have booked (within reason) so they can find a replacement(s) and move on. Be prepared to be moved on early if they decide they found someone who's ready.

Do this in person.

This is the correct answer in my experience.
 
I suck at confrontation, so the email thing appeals to me. I hope to remain friends with the singer, but the other 2 guys I really don't care as much about.

I would speak to the singer privately and let he/she know what is happening and why. Especially if you want to continue the friendship as well as future band relationships. Once the air is clear there, and email or text would work. Who knows...but the singer may feel the same way.
 
Well, there are pros and cons here. If I wait to tell them at the next band meeting, I'm kind of a dick, when I could email them and give them an additional 6 days to find someone, and I would have another 6 days to put an ad out on craigslist. However, if I do it by email, I'm a dick who can't do this stuff in person. So either way I'm a dick.
 
Well, there are pros and cons here. If I wait to tell them at the next band meeting, I'm kind of a dick, when I could email them and give them an additional 6 days to find someone, and I would have another 6 days to put an ad out on craigslist. However, if I do it by email, I'm a dick who can't do this stuff in person. So either way I'm a dick.

Do you have any upcoming gigs?
 
Well, there are pros and cons here. If I wait to tell them at the next band meeting, I'm kind of a dick, when I could email them and give them an additional 6 days to find someone, and I would have another 6 days to put an ad out on craigslist. However, if I do it by email, I'm a dick who can't do this stuff in person. So either way I'm a dick.
If there's no impending gig, then a 6-day delay is pretty negligible in the grand scheme of things. You've already been mulling this over for some time, I take it.
 
Oh yeah, we've been thinking about getting out for months now, but we've had a lot of gigs on the calendar.
 
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