So my wife and I want to quit our band...

Muppet

Muppet

Cat in the Hat
...which isn't easy. We've been with these guys for 3 years, but this band is going nowhere. I want to either get back to doing original music or join a much better cover band. In either case, we do a little dual guitar duet thing that we can do in bars for some fun and extra cash.

The sticky widget is how to let them know... Singing telegram?

~Muppet
 
Depends on how much you're worried about burning the bridge.
If you want the best possible relationship with them going forward, maybe you should tell them in person at a bar, coffee shop, or someone's house.
Otherwise, text or email should sufficiently get the message across and piss them off.
 
I suck at confrontation, so the email thing appeals to me. I hope to remain friends with the singer, but the other 2 guys I really don't care as much about.
 
Do it at a band meeting. Just say you two need a break and then want to do something different. I suck at confrontation as well, but since you are quitting it isn't as bad. Firing a band member is where it gets quite ugly.

You could always say it in an email and then make the offer of discussing it at a meeting if they really want that.
 
It is never easy to leave a band unless there already is hard feelings between people! Thing is it is also not easy to go through the motions with people you are really not enjoying playing with. I would just be straight up with them and say look nothing on a personel level, but this is just not working for me on a musical level anymore. If they are decent people then they should understand and not be pissed at you for doing what is best for you. If they want to be jerks about it then it makes it even easier to tell them to fuck off.
 
I like the idea of the email and then offerring a band meeting to discuss if necessary. That should work very well.
 
All good suggestions.
But I would go with the truth. Tell them that you can't grow as musicians with the way things are going in the band. Thank them for the time you all spent together and leave gracefully. They might realize that the current way they are doing things isn't going to work when someone else joins the band. Who knows you might end up playing together sometime down the road.

If that doesn't work tell them fuck off we're quitting.
 
Confrontation is good for you. Trust me, I'm an auditor.
If you pussyfoot around this thing and don't tell people to their faces, they'll resent you.
 
I think we're beyond the point of resentment, at least on our part. I have a ton of resentment built up toward these guys. I hate that it's come to that.
 
Muppet said:
I think we're beyond the point of resentment, at least on our part. I have a ton of resentment built up toward these guys. I hate that it's come to that.
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Yeah, but you said you wanted to keep a relationship going with the singer. You might want to meet one-on-one, in that case.
 
Muppet said:
I think you're right about this.
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I KNOW I'm right. :embarrassed: I've dumped and been dumped by more bands than I can remember. :grin:

The ones that always bothered me and sometimes continue to bother me the most are the ones that were not ended properly, whether by me or the other side of the dumping.
 
Blame it on your wife. That is what I always do when I leave a band. Oh wait, I guess you can't really do that since she is in it. We I guess you still can.
 
Tell them you're looking to do other things. Promise to cover the dates you have booked (within reason) so they can find a replacement(s) and move on. Be prepared to be moved on early if they decide they found someone who's ready.

Do this in person.
 
Yeah, do it in person. Telling them in an email and THEN offering to meet with them seems a bit passive/aggressive. If the email pisses them off, all the meeting will do is allow for a fist fight.
 
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