The wonderful world of HiFi nutters

k4df4l said:
While you're ordering, you should get some of these....um.....tone stickers. Set of 8 for $279

http://store.acousticsounds.com/d/1...dots_60_mm_set_of_8_White-System_Enhancements
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wtf are those?
 
jbj said:
wtf are those?
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From what I gather, they are dampening stickers....designed to be stuck on windows and such to dampen vibrations. They recommend 4 per pane of glass and then strategically placing them pretty much all over the place. Ultra expensive tone stickers. Why didn't I think of this ruse? I'll let the gushing review speak for itself:

Marigo's VTS Tuning Dots have been one of the most effective and dramatic steps I have taken to improve my system's performance. The improvements were not subtle. They brought great transparency without losing musicality. Clarity, dynamics, inner detail, midrange bloom, bass slam and articulation have such an improved sense of openness that they represent a major paradigm shift in resonance control." - David Clark, Positive Feedback, excerpt from online review, issue one
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Hmmmm...this gives me an idea for a guitar product. If they think straps can effect tone over at the gear page, wait till they get a load of my patented tone stickers that dramatically increase the sustain and resonance of your guitar!
 
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k4df4l said:
Hmmmm...this gives me an idea for a guitar product. If they think straps can effect tone over at the gear page, wait till they get a load of my patented tone stickers that dramatically increase the sustain and resonance of your guitar!
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You'll need to offer a choice of tone impacting adhesives.

1. "Vintage Hide Glue", made from woolly mammoth hides frozen for millenia in the Siberian permafrost.

2. "Chinchilla Hide Glue", because chinchillas fur coats keep your 24 year old trophy wife warm skiing in Vail so it should do the same for your tone.
 
Why worry about other people's crappy tones? No matter what junky sound system they have, no matter how lousy their rig is, no matter what crappy music they play, you can fine tune you own ears to improve what you hear by up to 500%!

images
 
BoomBoomBigelow said:
Why worry about other people's crappy tones? No matter what junky sound system they have, no matter how lousy their rig is, no matter what crappy music they play, you can fine tune you own ears to improve what you hear by up to 500%!

images
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Needs to be gold plated.
 
I've decided my niche in the hifi market. I will make power cords that are certified to block unwanted positrons from being transmitted into your audio path. No other cable can protect your pure audio signal from positrons. I'm going to start asking about positrons on all the audiophile sites right now. Forget about the fact that they are only produced by radioactive isotope decay and synchrotron particle beams, they are something every audiophile needs to be concerned about. One stray positron, and the anti-matter basis of these subatomic particles can cancel the electrons in your electrical signal.
 
Tiltsta said:
I've decided my niche in the hifi market. I will make power cords that are certified to block unwanted positrons from being transmitted into your audio path. No other cable can protect your pure audio signal from positrons. I'm going to start asking about positrons on all the audiophile sites right now. Forget about the fact that they are only produced by radioactive isotope decay and synchrotron particle beams, they are something every audiophile needs to be concerned about. One stray positron, and the anti-matter basis of these subatomic particles can cancel the electrons in your electrical signal.
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perfect!
 
Mark Wein said:
perfect!
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Yep. Call your local utility company and ask if your power is positron free. Not only do they not test for positrons, most utilities are completely unaware of the degradation in sound quality (and risk to audio gear) that results from these particles.
 
Tiltsta said:
I've decided my niche in the hifi market. I will make power cords that are certified to block unwanted positrons from being transmitted into your audio path. No other cable can protect your pure audio signal from positrons. I'm going to start asking about positrons on all the audiophile sites right now. Forget about the fact that they are only produced by radioactive isotope decay and synchrotron particle beams, they are something every audiophile needs to be concerned about. One stray positron, and the anti-matter basis of these subatomic particles can cancel the electrons in your electrical signal.
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please let me know when you are ready to ship.
I need these.

I've been having some issues with synchrotron particle beams cutting out my mid-range.
 
I'm going to look into acquiring the Large Hadron Collider franchise for my area. Contact me if your gullible. Er, I mean, if you want better tone!
 
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Mark Wein said:
You'll need to offer a choice of tone impacting adhesives.

1. "Vintage Hide Glue", made from woolly mammoth hides frozen for millenia in the Siberian permafrost.

2. "Chinchilla Hide Glue", because chinchillas fur coats keep your 24 year old trophy wife warm skiing in Vail so it should do the same for your tone.
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The adhesive will be made from a proprietary formula of vintage chips of Gibson nitrocellulose lacquer and walnuts ('cause we all know walnut have the most soulful) combined with vector geometry, our tone stickers will acoustically couple your instrument to the 4th dimension; providing a purity of tone, sustain and resonance that no other modification can dare claim. Pre-order now!
 
I finally figured out what's lacking in my system....and quantum physics has provided the solution:

ambient electromagnetic phenomena

These $959 blocks will shield your equipment (multiples required for multiple components of course) and enhance the performance of your speakers:


The Blackbody is a high-tech audio accessory which greatly enhances your audio playback experience by addressing the interaction of your audio gear's circuitry with ambient electromagnetic phenomena and modifying this interplay. The Blackbody takes advantage of the quantum nature of particle interaction, and is therefore able to permeate metal, plastic, wood, and other barriers to affect the circuitry inside your components. This altered electromagnetic influence results in profoundly improved sound quality.
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There exists an electromagnetic interaction of the signals in the circuitry with the enclosure and other proximate objects which causes an audible interference effect by superposition of multitudinous reflections and inductions of EM waves. These smear the timing and exactitude of the signals and it is exactly this aspect which is addressed by the Blackbody.
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LessLoss-Blackbody-tubes.png


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http://www.lessloss.com/blackbody-p-200.html
 
jbj said:
I llove how vague the description of what it actually does is.
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Yeah, I had to read the 'technical' page to guess it was some type of magnet, but it never really says what it is or how it works. My guess of magnet is based on the interaction of magnetic fields from a magnet with electromagnetic noise generated by electrical circuits. The demonstration of how the device might be tested by placing it on top of a speaker to 'hear' the difference is kind of a giveaway that this thing is probably a large magnet or some type of Helmholtz electromagnetic coil. :messedup: The scientific explanation provided is absolute rubbish.
 
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