Super-long thread: I got kicked out of a Beatles tribute band

1. I'd be willing to bet that if Smurfco and I had a band together based on a common interest/passion, that we would get along quite swimmingly.

2. I don't just walk around all day verbally assaulting people. It's actually exceptionally rare for me to even engage or say a word. I'm 100x more likely to keep my mouth shut and walk away than anything else.

3. When I do engage, it is because someone has either been hurt, cheated, taken advantage of, or treated in a particularly egregious way. Or, if someone who is wilfully ignorant makes it a point to have an argument won't take "no" for an answer.

4. For as "gifted" as I may be in the art of verbal evisceration, I rarely if ever enjoy it or feel good about it afterwards. Even when "The Full OGG" is well justified, I feel like shit, lose sleep, and mentally torture myself for days, weeks or longer for having gone there.

Here's a good example right before our very eyes. A thread having nothing whatsoever to do with me in anyway, but still somehow invokes my name in a very unflattering context. My knee-jerk reaction in my head was "fuck you!". But since I'm not a complete fucking douchebag, I chose to refrain from uttering what I was thinking.

Just remember, you're making uncalled for jokes about a guy who aside from being an inordinately nice, generous and caring person, he is also someone who has battled a lifetime of non-stop, 24/7 Acute Chronic Major Depressive Disorder, an anxiety level off the charts, severe ADD/ADHD, an ungodly amount of physical trauma and personal tragedy and is right now (and for over a week) completely OFF his meds in order for them to clear his system so he and his doctor can start a whole new cocktail of shit that probably won't work any better than previous ridiculous list of cocktails. A guy dancing on the edge of a full blown fucking breakdown, who refuses to allow as much for the sake of his wife and children. A guy who despite all of that, never quits, never gives in no matter how deep and dark the hole consuming him becomes.

Yet, you don't get "The Full OGG". You don't even get a taste, because this not my circus and these are not my monkeys. And because I'm not fodder for stupid fucking jokes, nor will I offer myself up as such.

Sorry Smurfco, sounds like an absolute shitshow you went through. Kudos for hanging in there and not just walking off the stage.

While it isn't unusual for my attempts at humor to fail, it is unusual for them to fail this spectacularly. My intent was to make a joke along the lines of that given your past experience with drawing flaky band mates, and now Smurfco's experience drawing flaky band mates, if you both formed a band, which of you would turn into the flake?

The post started out much longer, but humor tends to favor brevity, so I edited it down. I realize now that the actual humorous point was lost in the editing.

I am sorry. I was in no way trying to insult you (or Smurfco for that matter). It was not intended to be a criticism of either of you. In fact, I was working off the notion that you've both been decent guys trying to make good music with people who don't seem to be capable of living up to the responsibility of being in a band.
 
While it isn't unusual for my attempts at humor to fail, it is unusual for them to fail this spectacularly. My intent was to make a joke along the lines of that given your past experience with drawing flaky band mates, and now Smurfco's experience drawing flaky band mates, if you both formed a band, which of you would turn into the flake?

The post started out much longer, but humor tends to favor brevity, so I edited it down. I realize now that the actual humorous point was lost in the editing.

I am sorry. I was in no way trying to insult you (or Smurfco for that matter). It was not intended to be a criticism of either of you. In fact, I was working off the notion that you've both been decent guys trying to make good music with people who don't seem to be capable of living up to the responsibility of being in a band.

I totally got the joke.
 
Not sure this is worth a post, but I keep replaying the Warlus vid. And even though I'm alone on my couch, I still turn my face, I'm so fucking embarrassed.

They sure did kick Edgar Allen Poe a lot.

You have my undying respect for a) posting that; and b) living through it.
 
I .... I honestly don't know how to thank you, @smurfco , for posting that video. Never mind that it says 'bad things' about me, I laughed my ass off.

Full admission: at first, I thought 'this guy is a pure muso type, probably was in HS band, and snobby.' Hey, sue me: I don't know you. I pictured something like a refugee from a Vegas pit band, getting shitty with weekend players. That feeling started to shift somewhere in part III (like all good serials, you kept me strung along), and then ...

Dat video, tho.

All I can say is: I'm terribly fucking sorry. For my assumptions, but much more for you having to endure that. And TBH, I don't think I'm ready to blame a lack of practice. Because I don't think that four lifetimes of practice is going to help that.

***************************
Personal side story: was asked by long time friend if I could cover bass for his cover band. He is nice, I say 'sure.' At first practice (for which I purchased a really terrific Schecter Jazz Bass copy), the drummer literally will. Not. Talk. To. Me. Turns out previous bassist was his friend, but 'got kicked out' because .... wait for it ... he moved across the country. The drummer is literally batshit nuts (I won't share the diagnosis here, but I do mean literally). OK, I think, I know about 'issues,' and what the heck, this is a basement band that has yet to land a decent gig. No worries.

My friend the band leader (hereafter MFTBL) has a few decent originals, and I had already written bass parts for them, and helped him with arrangement. (note that I'm a mediocre player at best but know my way around a song and etc., and used to do that with pros, so he was getting some nice help there). And then I am given a list of tunes to learn, and I see on there: "Wonderwall."

Much more interesting is that during this first rehearsal, only two of us have ANY musicality. At all. One is a terribly nice guy who sings and plays rhythm guitar. He has a nice voice. He is a worse guitarist than me, which is saying something. But, you know: OK.

We slog through 90 minutes of some of the most unmusical noise I've ever fucking heard. It sounds like Shelley Winters bellowing over GG Allin bootlegs. I have a look of pure astonishment on my face. Is this for real? They say they've been practicing for over a year. Practicing what? Atonality? We could be amazing as a Schoenberg tribute act. This is hideous. I am already wondering how to get out of this. Worst is that MFTBL thinks things are going well! He wants badly to PLAY OUT.

And here I will confess my dirty secret: I didn't learn the fucking songs. At all. Oh, I memorized about 12 of them, but to be honest, I am starting to look at the wall during "Wonderwall" and literally think I wonder if they wonder why I'm staring at the wall during Wonderwall.

Two more practices go nowhere, except that the drummer still. Won't. Say. One. Word. To. Me. And so I show them a song of mine. Now, the song is written from the POV of a character who is not me, and the lyrics reflect this. At this, MFTBL mocks my song, saying "you weren't even born in the year you're writing about!!! Hahahhahahaha ....." And all I can think of is: holy shit. These people have no talent. Not "not much," but none. There's literally NO musicality here, no bounce.

And while I'm not that stuck on myself, I've had people who have actual careers as performers tell me that they like my songs, and in some cases, even sing them, just cuz they like them.

That night, driving home, I wonder how I can escape this. Because MFTBL is a good friend, and we have a LOT of friends in common. In fact, he is sort of well known for something completely different, and just wrote me a reference that got me a job. And hell, I care for him.

Next day I get a text. "I don't think you playing bass is going to work out." I nearly died laughing, and said "thanks for letting me know." Three years on, still jamming in the basement. Never played out yet. But at a party at MFTBL's house, they play a set. I am asked to come up for "Killing Moon." I say 'no' in about a half a second.

There MUST be a musical version of Dunning-Kruger. There MUST. It's just a jaw dropper when you stand in the middle of it.

Schoenberg-hate makes me sad. :(
 
See your first mistake was engaging musically with other human beings.

What you need to do is put the electrics in the spare room, buy a nice acoustic for meddling about with in the living room (you can write this off as tax so it's all good) buy a PA, some lights, a MacBook Pro and become a wedding DJ.

I mean it pays 10 times as much as playing in a band and you don't get to spend your Thursday nights playing to bars with 3 people in them but y know... :embarrassed: :grin:
 
Schoenberg hate makes you sad; idiot shred-wank makes me sad.

So we go to the track, and we bet on the horses.



Note: I don't hate Schoenberg. I just don't really want to.
 
See your first mistake was engaging musically with other human beings.

What you need to do is put the electrics in the spare room, buy a nice acoustic for meddling about with in the living room (you can write this off as tax so it's all good) buy a PA, some lights, a MacBook Pro and become a wedding DJ.

I mean it pays 10 times as much as playing in a band and you don't get to spend your Thursday nights playing to bars with 3 people in them but y know... :embarrassed: :grin:
I know you meant this in jest (as I know you know there is much more to being a GOOD dj and even more to being a GREAT one), there is some truth to this.

Idea: smurf could reuse his Beatles outfits and be a Beatles tribute dj.
 
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