Mental health check-in

Lerxst said:
Yeah, all roads are pointing in this direction and full replacement is in my future.
First shot was supposed to be this past Monday but there was some confusion and I showed up at the wrong office so now it's this Friday.

Kinda bummed because Im looking forward to doing dumb stuff again ASAP.
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Mrs. T had her right hip replaced, but we found out from a different doctor a year later that the pre-surgical imaging indicated no surgery was required. She has since discovered this particular surgeon has a growing reputation for performing unnecessary hip replacements. Mrs. T is friends with his former nurse, who also confirmed this. I'm not saying this to scare you in any way, but @GilmourD is correct about multiple opinions.

The good news about hip replacement is that the recovery is much easier than knee replacement. She was back to work in 2 weeks.
 
Tig said:
Mrs. T had her right hip replaced, but we found out from a different doctor a year later that the pre-surgical imaging indicated no surgery was required. She has since discovered this particular surgeon has a growing reputation for performing unnecessary hip replacements. Mrs. T is friends with his former nurse, who also confirmed this. I'm not saying this to scare you in any way, but @GilmourD is correct about multiple opinions.

The good news about hip replacement is that the recovery is much easier than knee replacement. She was back to work in 2 weeks.
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Yes, I've already talked to a few surgeons including one who only does labral repairs and it's the same recommendation each time
 
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66 Pages?
This is a daunting thread to catch up on. Please allow me to make a comment before I start to review it.

Stress has been high since the lockdowns but things should have stabilized by now. I guess things may have ramped up again with the events of the past few days.

If emotions are anything like I see on F-Book there are a lot of scared and angry people around.

I urge you to stay calm and try not to lose perspective. Focus on your loved ones, Focus on your playing. Focus on the things that matter to you personally.

I feel a lot of the uneasiness is overblown and will not amount to much. Give it some time. Think about what you can do to make things better on a local level.

Above all don't make any drastic moves.

Stay cool!
 
Meeting with parents almost nonstop in work just now for yearly reviews. Had one in this morning who tortured me last year. A lovely woman and only advocating for her child but it was dreadful at times.

I'd be surprised if there weren't 3 figures worth of emails and phone calls, she'd request, sometimes demand X, Y and Z, I'd action it and she'd then change her mind and I'd have to change again or rever to the initial plan. She'd go quiet for months then it'd be weeks and months of hassle.

She wasn't an arsehole,nasty or anything just a concerned parent that really needed to relax a little and trust the process.

Her appointment was first thing this morning.

I did not fall asleep easily last night...

She came in and it couldn't have been more positive. She raved about the job we've done for her kid. I always ask if there's anything we've not covered or addressed at the end and she goes:

"Well actually there is one thing..."

I'm dreading what's coming next then she gives me a very sincere apology for being highly strung and making things difficult for me last year.

I told her not to be silly,it was my job to support her as well as the kid etc... and i meant it but it was really nice that all that effort had been noticed and appreciated.
 
It is interesting the effects of these national developments can have on mental health and relationships. Adding stress to peoples' already hectic and challenging lives. And folks can either figure out how to deal, or numb out, or spin out, or other things I suppose. Still trying to figure out how I want to handle it all. And I am by all accounts privileged. Much worse for a lot of other folks.

In my life, yesterday, in a POSITIVE way, my sig other brought up something (the first something in our getting toward year and a half relationship) that I really need to work on. (and I DO NOT WANT to carry old bad habits or mistakes into a new, beautiful relationship. Scares the fuck out of me frankly).

Basically it comes down to behavior (angry snarky words) and related attitude in reaction to shit out in the world. And as she sees it, I have a little bit of the “likes to verbally rumble/spar” thing going on that is going to need to be moderated in these times. Basically, there will be PLENTY of things to get pissed or upset about coming down the pipe, and her mental health and peace need for me to figure out how to deal with it without getting all f-bomb Roy Kent or snarky Tony Stark about things all the time, as that stresses her out and elevates her. Going to need to figure out how to regulate my own feelings and attitude so we can calm each other rather than escalate each other.
 
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Had a really lovely moment in work yesterday. Almost a year ago a parent of a paraplegic non-verbal kid with a tonne of medical issues asked if I'd put a referral in to an agency that specialises in really specialised communication aids.

It involved a decent chunk of work but I got on with it and put the referral in just before Christmas. These things take ages but the company has been in and out a few times in recent months and yesterday they invited the mum in to show her some of the tech they were giving her daughter to use at school and home.

I happened to pass her just as she was leaving the building. I asked how it had gone. She said the the equipment they'd shown her was amazing and that I'd "given her child a voice". I replied that I was just doing my job and it was only a bit of paperwork I'd filled in but she got really emotional and said she's been fighting for this since the kid was in nursery and I was the first one who'd ever come through for her. That was really touching. It's REALLY tough graft in my line of work but we do change, most of the time it's little by little each day but sometimes it's in big ways and it really does make you feel good and put all of the stuff that affects us day to day into real perspective.
 
jbj said:
Had a really lovely moment in work yesterday. Almost a year ago a parent of a paraplegic non-verbal kid with a tonne of medical issues asked if I'd put a referral in to an agency that specialises in really specialised communication aids.

It involved a decent chunk of work but I got on with it and put the referral in just before Christmas. These things take ages but the company has been in and out a few times in recent months and yesterday they invited the mum in to show her some of the tech they were giving her daughter to use at school and home.

I happened to pass her just as she was leaving the building. I asked how it had gone. She said the the equipment they'd shown her was amazing and that I'd "given her child a voice". I replied that I was just doing my job and it was only a bit of paperwork I'd filled in but she got really emotional and said she's been fighting for this since the kid was in nursery and I was the first one who'd ever come through for her. That was really touching. It's REALLY tough graft in my line of work but we do change, most of the time it's little by little each day but sometimes it's in big ways and it really does make you feel good and put all of the stuff that affects us day to day into real perspective.
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That’s really great! Thanks for doing the work, and thanks for sharing.
 
Had some family stuff (ex making plans involving the (adult) kids, taking them away for all of Thanksgiving break, and ends up hanging with all of MY family in addition to seeing hers who no longer communicate with me. My brothers wives are good friends with my ex and so I was taking the higher road, but didn’t expect to get cut off from the other family. Ex was all worried she would lose my family and I said “Of course not, why would we do that? Who would do that?” Well, I guess I know now why she was thinking about it. Divorce was not due to any particular fault of anyone and that was the agreement, but somehow now I feel on the outs.

Have tried to talk to my brothers about the overall situation when my ex showed up for part of the annual family vacation at my family’s old reunion we do, but they don’t do the feels well as we were not raised for that. And only partly get it and don’t know what to do other than have me suck it up. And now they sent me a pic from this Thanksgiving with all the kids from all three families (two brothers) and my ex, chat labled “The Thompson Family”. *sigh*. Feeling like I can’t really say anything about it, and that I and my wonderful new person (met 6 mos. AFTER the split) will just move forward and continue to reach out and attempt good relationships as we have been doing. If I say anything, it will come off as sour grapes complaining, and they were just being open to my ex. Perhaps inartfully in sending me the pic. But they don’t really get my side my the story as to how things were, and they follow their wives’ leads socially, esp. one does. And also, I don’t want to involve the kids more. Hard enough for them as it is. so trying to be the bigger person.

So still this one is stinging me, especially the inability to talk about it, which was always a problem in my family of origin, not being able to talk about real stuff. Just stiff upper lip and decorum. And out of all that, my Mom ended up in re-hab after becoming a sneak a drink vodka drinker, nearly to death. She recovered in an amazing way, but all that never was reconciled completely, and my bros are kinda sticking to the old pattern of just get along and not deal. For the most part. Obviously I am struggling with it.

Mollie (my person) told me something she had heard. Will discuss it with my counselor and see what I can come up with to deal with it. Don’t want to put the kids in the middle, but will need to learn how to plan holidays affirmatively with them w/o relying on any cooperation from my ex, though that was what we had discussed.

“Definition of Dysfunction
Knowing something is not right in your home and not being able or allowed to talk about or address it.”
 
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sunvalleylaw said:
Had some family stuff (ex making plans involving the (adult) kids, taking them away for all of Thanksgiving break, and ends up hanging with all of MY family in addition to seeing hers who no longer communicate with me. My brothers wives are good friends with my ex and so I was taking the higher road, but didn’t expect to get cut off from the other family. Ex was all worried she would lose my family and I said “Of course not, why would we do that? Who would do that?” Well, I guess I know now why she was thinking about it. Divorce was not due to any particular fault of anyone and that was the agreement, but somehow now I feel on the outs.

Have tried to talk to my brothers about the overall situation when my ex showed up for part of the annual family vacation at my family’s old reunion www do, but they don’t do the feels well as we were not raised for that. And only partly get it and don’t know what to do other than have me suck it up. And now they sent me a pic from this Thanksgiving with all the kids from all three families (two brothers) and my ex, chat labled “The Thompson Family”. *sigh*. Feeling like I can’t really say anything about it, and that I and my wonderful new person (met 6 mos. AFTER the split) will just move forward and continue to reach out and attempt good relationships as we have been doing. If I say anything, it will come off as sour grapes complaining, and they were just being open to my ex. Perhaps inartfully in sending me the pic. But they don’t really get my side my the story as to how things were, and they follow their wives’ leads socially, esp. one does. And also, I don’t want to involve the kids more. Hard enough for them as it is. so trying to be the bigger person.

So still this one is stinging me, especially the inability to talk about it, which was always a problem in my family of origin, not being able to talk about real stuff. Just stiff upper lip and decorum. And out of all that, my Mom ended up in re-hab after becoming a sneak a drink vodka drinker, nearly to death. She recovered in an amazing way, but all that never was reconciled completely, and my bros are kinda sticking to the old pattern of just get along and not deal. For me most part. Obviously I am struggling with it.

Mollie (my person) told me something she had heard. Will discuss it with my counselor and see what I can come up with to deal with it. Don’t want to put the kids in the middle, but will need to learn how to plan holidays affirmatively with them w/o relying on any cooperation from my ex, though that was what we had discussed.

“Definition of Dysfunction
Knowing something is not right in your home and not being able or allowed to talk about or address it.”
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Yep...
 
Made the choice to “unwatch” the politics thread and forum a couple days ago, and it is a good thing for me right now. I have too much on my plate to fuck around with stuff I can’t control anyway, and I can drop in once in a while (and have done) to check in for a sec. But I don’t automatically click on that thread from the “Watched Threads” menu anymore, reflexively. Feels quite good to me right now. Just that small level of detachment.
 
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