Mental health check-in

Brian Krashpad said:
Mojo to errbody.

I'm in a pretty weird headspace. Work is a little bit in the doldrums, which is common for summer, with my clients going on vacation. Since I'm self-employed, that means less dosh, but that's OK, it's sorta like an unpaid vacay. I'm 66, but still working "full time," however, as I and very small client base "age out" (I had a client, younger than I am, die a year or so ago), I expect the income to slow, but will put off getting Social Security income until its maxxed. I did go on Medicare at 65 so, while I'm still getting used to the transition from (my wife's) private health insurance, that in itself is a big monthly savings.

But speaking of health, haha, what a fecking mess.

My blood pressure and pulse rate are just all over the map. A week or so ago I woke up and felt like my heart was racing, put on the blood pressure cuff and my pulse was over 100, and when it stayed high for several hours, I went in to a doc-in-a-box, had an EKG, but they couldn't find anything wrong. My daughter (who's a traveling invasive cardiovascular technologist) thinks I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), but I'm not sure how that explains my heart racing for several hours straight, since it shouldn't tie to any postural change. But meanwhile my BP has ranged from normal to really low, this morning it was 80-something over 60-something. I'm on a minimal dose BP med (metoprolol) but when it gets scary low I skip it.

Meanwhile, my teeth/jaw are totally fecked from the radiation I had 13 years ago. My lower jaw was rebuilt with veins from my ankle and a piece (the top of the Iliac Crest, for those of you scoring at home) of my hip, and has "shifted" over time so the lower teeth don't meet up with the upper teeth correctly, and my gums are receding despite all sorts of daily stuff designed to combat tooth problems, including "dental trays" kinda like athletic mouthguards, that I fill in with flouride gel every night to try to erase tooth decay from the rads. And since my teeth are now brittle AND no longer meet up correctly, the bottom teeth have majorly chipped one of the upper incisors, right in front, of course. I'm going to see about getting that fixed, but options are limited because the radiation fucks up blood flow in bones/teeth, and if one gets work done, it might never heal back. Oh, and did I mention that the flouride "trays" nightly treatment also stains the teeth? Because that, too. Just lovely.

But wait, there's more!

When Mrs. Krashpad and I went on our dream vacay to France in March, on the plane on the way over, afterward, my left ear wouldn't un-pop from the plane ride, and I lost a significant amount of hearing. Although my ENT didn't tell me, in reading my online record, he's written to my GP thinking the ear thing could be a cholesteatoma, which is noncancerous but nevertheless destructive growth in the middle ear. There's no cure, the only thing they can do is operate, to try to remove it. That has not been brought up with me, but is on the horizon. Hven't even mentioned this with Mrs. Krashpad yet.

So, wait, although the ear thing isn't cancer...

I recently got pissed at my urologist (see what I did there), and switched to a different one. As part of their "incoming patient" routine, I had a pelvic MRI. Now, I have had PSA numbers fluctuating between "high normal" and "kinda scary" for years, and am meds for that too. But the MRI result was not good. Results have 5 possible levels:

Level 1: highly unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 2: unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 3: equivocal that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 4: likely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 5: highly likely that clinically significant cancer is present

So, 1 good, 5 bad.

I'm a 4. So now I gotta have a biopsy minor operation to see for sure whether there's cancer or not. And obviously if there is, undergo treatment for that.

Because I've had my PSA on monitoring for years this is not a huge surprise or shock, but it'd sure be cool if I could catch a motherfecking break and not get cancer a second time.

Short version/tldr: BP/Pulse. Toofies. Ear owie-toma/operation. Prostate cancer biopsy.

So there's all that. And you know, that kinda effects shit.

I did just sell a 100W Peavey 2x12, that I bought for $75 USD, for $300. Which was a pretty damn good return on investment (sold within six months of having bought). Plus more space freed up in garage.

View attachment 95792

And missus and I just went for a 4-day weekend to Cali to visit the daughter. which included a day trip to Lake Tahoe, with her, which was great. First time I'd been to Cali (and momentarily Nevada) since I was a kid in the late 60's.

View attachment 95790

View attachment 95791
Click to expand...
Medical mojo!!!!!!!
 
Brian Krashpad said:
Mojo to errbody.

I'm in a pretty weird headspace. Work is a little bit in the doldrums, which is common for summer, with my clients going on vacation. Since I'm self-employed, that means less dosh, but that's OK, it's sorta like an unpaid vacay. I'm 66, but still working "full time," however, as I and very small client base "age out" (I had a client, younger than I am, die a year or so ago), I expect the income to slow, but will put off getting Social Security income until its maxxed. I did go on Medicare at 65 so, while I'm still getting used to the transition from (my wife's) private health insurance, that in itself is a big monthly savings.

But speaking of health, haha, what a fecking mess.

My blood pressure and pulse rate are just all over the map. A week or so ago I woke up and felt like my heart was racing, put on the blood pressure cuff and my pulse was over 100, and when it stayed high for several hours, I went in to a doc-in-a-box, had an EKG, but they couldn't find anything wrong. My daughter (who's a traveling invasive cardiovascular technologist) thinks I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), but I'm not sure how that explains my heart racing for several hours straight, since it shouldn't tie to any postural change. But meanwhile my BP has ranged from normal to really low, this morning it was 80-something over 60-something. I'm on a minimal dose BP med (metoprolol) but when it gets scary low I skip it.

Meanwhile, my teeth/jaw are totally fecked from the radiation I had 13 years ago. My lower jaw was rebuilt with veins from my ankle and a piece (the top of the Iliac Crest, for those of you scoring at home) of my hip, and has "shifted" over time so the lower teeth don't meet up with the upper teeth correctly, and my gums are receding despite all sorts of daily stuff designed to combat tooth problems, including "dental trays" kinda like athletic mouthguards, that I fill in with flouride gel every night to try to erase tooth decay from the rads. And since my teeth are now brittle AND no longer meet up correctly, the bottom teeth have majorly chipped one of the upper incisors, right in front, of course. I'm going to see about getting that fixed, but options are limited because the radiation fucks up blood flow in bones/teeth, and if one gets work done, it might never heal back. Oh, and did I mention that the flouride "trays" nightly treatment also stains the teeth? Because that, too. Just lovely.

But wait, there's more!

When Mrs. Krashpad and I went on our dream vacay to France in March, on the plane on the way over, afterward, my left ear wouldn't un-pop from the plane ride, and I lost a significant amount of hearing. Although my ENT didn't tell me, in reading my online record, he's written to my GP thinking the ear thing could be a cholesteatoma, which is noncancerous but nevertheless destructive growth in the middle ear. There's no cure, the only thing they can do is operate, to try to remove it. That has not been brought up with me, but is on the horizon. Hven't even mentioned this with Mrs. Krashpad yet.

So, wait, although the ear thing isn't cancer...

I recently got pissed at my urologist (see what I did there), and switched to a different one. As part of their "incoming patient" routine, I had a pelvic MRI. Now, I have had PSA numbers fluctuating between "high normal" and "kinda scary" for years, and am meds for that too. But the MRI result was not good. Results have 5 possible levels:

Level 1: highly unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 2: unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 3: equivocal that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 4: likely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 5: highly likely that clinically significant cancer is present

So, 1 good, 5 bad.

I'm a 4. So now I gotta have a biopsy minor operation to see for sure whether there's cancer or not. And obviously if there is, undergo treatment for that.

Because I've had my PSA on monitoring for years this is not a huge surprise or shock, but it'd sure be cool if I could catch a motherfecking break and not get cancer a second time.

Short version/tldr: BP/Pulse. Toofies. Ear owie-toma/operation. Prostate cancer biopsy.

So there's all that. And you know, that kinda effects shit.

I did just sell a 100W Peavey 2x12, that I bought for $75 USD, for $300. Which was a pretty damn good return on investment (sold within six months of having bought). Plus more space freed up in garage.

View attachment 95792

And missus and I just went for a 4-day weekend to Cali to visit the daughter. which included a day trip to Lake Tahoe, with her, which was great. First time I'd been to Cali (and momentarily Nevada) since I was a kid in the late 60's.

View attachment 95790

View attachment 95791
Click to expand...
You've been delt a series of crappy cards, brother. I hope it all gets sorted out soon. Keep living, loving, and keeping the faith.
 
Brian Krashpad said:
Mojo to errbody.

I'm in a pretty weird headspace. Work is a little bit in the doldrums, which is common for summer, with my clients going on vacation. Since I'm self-employed, that means less dosh, but that's OK, it's sorta like an unpaid vacay. I'm 66, but still working "full time," however, as I and very small client base "age out" (I had a client, younger than I am, die a year or so ago), I expect the income to slow, but will put off getting Social Security income until its maxxed. I did go on Medicare at 65 so, while I'm still getting used to the transition from (my wife's) private health insurance, that in itself is a big monthly savings.

But speaking of health, haha, what a fecking mess.

My blood pressure and pulse rate are just all over the map. A week or so ago I woke up and felt like my heart was racing, put on the blood pressure cuff and my pulse was over 100, and when it stayed high for several hours, I went in to a doc-in-a-box, had an EKG, but they couldn't find anything wrong. My daughter (who's a traveling invasive cardiovascular technologist) thinks I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), but I'm not sure how that explains my heart racing for several hours straight, since it shouldn't tie to any postural change. But meanwhile my BP has ranged from normal to really low, this morning it was 80-something over 60-something. I'm on a minimal dose BP med (metoprolol) but when it gets scary low I skip it.

Meanwhile, my teeth/jaw are totally fecked from the radiation I had 13 years ago. My lower jaw was rebuilt with veins from my ankle and a piece (the top of the Iliac Crest, for those of you scoring at home) of my hip, and has "shifted" over time so the lower teeth don't meet up with the upper teeth correctly, and my gums are receding despite all sorts of daily stuff designed to combat tooth problems, including "dental trays" kinda like athletic mouthguards, that I fill in with flouride gel every night to try to erase tooth decay from the rads. And since my teeth are now brittle AND no longer meet up correctly, the bottom teeth have majorly chipped one of the upper incisors, right in front, of course. I'm going to see about getting that fixed, but options are limited because the radiation fucks up blood flow in bones/teeth, and if one gets work done, it might never heal back. Oh, and did I mention that the flouride "trays" nightly treatment also stains the teeth? Because that, too. Just lovely.

But wait, there's more!

When Mrs. Krashpad and I went on our dream vacay to France in March, on the plane on the way over, afterward, my left ear wouldn't un-pop from the plane ride, and I lost a significant amount of hearing. Although my ENT didn't tell me, in reading my online record, he's written to my GP thinking the ear thing could be a cholesteatoma, which is noncancerous but nevertheless destructive growth in the middle ear. There's no cure, the only thing they can do is operate, to try to remove it. That has not been brought up with me, but is on the horizon. Hven't even mentioned this with Mrs. Krashpad yet.

So, wait, although the ear thing isn't cancer...

I recently got pissed at my urologist (see what I did there), and switched to a different one. As part of their "incoming patient" routine, I had a pelvic MRI. Now, I have had PSA numbers fluctuating between "high normal" and "kinda scary" for years, and am meds for that too. But the MRI result was not good. Results have 5 possible levels:

Level 1: highly unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 2: unlikely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 3: equivocal that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 4: likely that clinically significant cancer is present
Level 5: highly likely that clinically significant cancer is present

So, 1 good, 5 bad.

I'm a 4. So now I gotta have a biopsy minor operation to see for sure whether there's cancer or not. And obviously if there is, undergo treatment for that.

Because I've had my PSA on monitoring for years this is not a huge surprise or shock, but it'd sure be cool if I could catch a motherfecking break and not get cancer a second time.

Short version/tldr: BP/Pulse. Toofies. Ear owie-toma/operation. Prostate cancer biopsy.

So there's all that. And you know, that kinda effects shit.

I did just sell a 100W Peavey 2x12, that I bought for $75 USD, for $300. Which was a pretty damn good return on investment (sold within six months of having bought). Plus more space freed up in garage.

View attachment 95792

And missus and I just went for a 4-day weekend to Cali to visit the daughter. which included a day trip to Lake Tahoe, with her, which was great. First time I'd been to Cali (and momentarily Nevada) since I was a kid in the late 60's.

View attachment 95790

View attachment 95791
Click to expand...
My daughter was diagnosed with POTS. I had never heard of it and was distrustful of the diagnosis. They put her on a beta blocker, no more issues. She ran out of the beta blocker and said she didn’t think she needed it any more. Issues came back. Went back on the beta blocker and issues went away again.
 
Mojo Krashpad.

Just heard from the colleague whose role I've been covering since September. She's retiring.

I'd heard through the grapevine that she was not planning on returning but until I'd heard it officially I wasn't going to get my hopes up.

I'm not 100% sure how it'll pan out, I did think they would keep me in the acting role until next Summer then interview to make it permanent but since she's vacating the role they might need to move that forward which would be good for me, my job stability and my career providing I don't arse up the interview.
 
Tig said:
After being fired from her job in May, Mrs. T has two offers from the same company at two locations. She starts next week. Thankfully, she was able to get unemployment since the state's investigation concluded she committed no wrongdoing in her old job. things have been very stressful the last few months, but she is enjoying the time off to decompress.

I'm officially dead in the IT world, and at 61, no one will hire me for anything else outside of Walmart greeter. I hang in as best I can and take it one day at a time, but lack of purpose and income makes it hard.
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Ageism is such bullshit... And part of the "logic" (quotes are key) is "but they're just going to retire in a few years". I'm not sure why that matters anymore when it seems that the average length of tenure at one job these days seems to be 4.1 years because young people are bouncing all over the place anyway.

If you keep up on your certs and knowledge who cares? I say that as somebody that also works in IT where I'm finding that the big problem is that kids have had their observation skills beaten out of them so there's no sense of being able to figure things out on the fly. It's why when I get a new sign for my office door I want to put "Chief MacGyver Officer" with a little Swiss Army knife next to it.
 
Lerxst said:
The unfortunate reality is that ageism is rampant in the industry. It's something that weighs on my mind very often these days and I see it everywhere.
One tip I've seen mentioned frequently is to sanitize your resume by removing many of the indicators that would imply your age and length of experience...but that'll just get you into the interview cycle and then all bets are off.

I'd probably think long and hard about pivoting into something else if need arises in the future. Easier said than done though.
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As somebody who's fairly senior in my department and with a tiny bit of sway over hiring, we basically have two requirements for hiring (outside of the higher administration hires that are complete bullshit, but I digress...):
  • Know your shit inside and out
  • Know that the rest of us are out of our minds in the most comedic ways possible and be able to at least handle that if not join in
Unfortunately, I don't believe @Tig is local nor do we have any open positions, not that they'd pay tremendously since this is PK-12 education.
 
GilmourD said:
As somebody who's fairly senior in my department and with a tiny bit of sway over hiring, we basically have two requirements for hiring (outside of the higher administration hires that are complete bullshit, but I digress...):
  • Know your shit inside and out
  • Know that the rest of us are out of our minds in the most comedic ways possible and be able to at least handle that if not join in
Unfortunately, I don't believe @Tig is local nor do we have any open positions, not that they'd pay tremendously since this is PK-12 education.
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I've been on both sides of the process a number of times and I like to think that I do my best to check my bias at the door before I review resumes or do interviews. I do believe can be legitimately difficult at times not to let your bias influence who you favor or don't....it's human nature after all. But at the end of the day, I've often made decisions or recommendations that run counter to my subjective preferences & wound up some with some great hires in the process.

Some of the best groups I've worked in were diverse in age/experience/skills/background. Shame to think that some people or organizations don't recognize the value that can present.
 
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I qualified 16 years ago so call it roughly a generation but not that I'm a dinosaur.

From my own, albeit, limited experience, younger teachers today have a lack of resilience and gumption. They might be good at using new tech and so on but give me a 30 year vet that knows the job inside out, can use their own initiative and doesn't flake at the smallest bit of adversity any day.

Again it's a limited observation but my brother in law is a police officer and he's seen the exact same thing with the newer recruits. Folk signing off with stress because someone they fancy got off with a colleague at the Xmas party etc... it's nuts
 
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Ageism in that context must suck. Mojo! I have been self employed for so long (other than my ski job which is really specialized and doesn't really count) that I just have not had to deal with the corporate crap many of you have had to. OTOH, I have to work for the asshole pictured on the left!!!
 
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sunvalleylaw said:
I have been self employed for so long (other than my ski job which is really specialized and doesn't really count) that I just have not had to deal with the corporate crap many of you have had to. OTOH, I have to work for the asshole pictured on the left!!!
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I worked really hard to be selected as an examiner and clinic leader for PSIA-I (intermountain, centered in SLC) at my age (61) and was pleasantly almost surprised they hired me at the end of basically a 2 year combo training/hiring process. But I worked really hard to ski and coach/teach at a level high enough to be selected. One of the personal growth (probably primary one) things that helped me stay sane during the divorce process. Skiing has never let me down. Marriage, society, religion, law, all had. (and I meant the actual skiing, not the expensiveness of the activity. If I start going there, skiing as an industry is letting me down too, so I was focused more on my growth and performance and what I could learn. It makes no sense to pursue from a money perspective).
 
I'm fully strapped into a seat on the struggle bus right now.

Long and complicated story but I currently & unexpectedly find myself on the east coast as the sole caregiver for my mom, who just had knee replacement surgery. What was supposed to be a 1 week visit for some moral support has turned into 3 wks of (hopefully) FMLA paid leave while I care for her 24/7 with no relief. Just started week 2 and I will have at least a half day to myself tomorrow when the home helper agency I've hired arrives.
 
Lerxst said:
I'm fully strapped into a seat on the struggle bus right now.

Long and complicated story but I currently & unexpectedly find myself on the east coast as the sole caregiver for my mom, who just had knee replacement surgery. What was supposed to be a 1 week visit for some moral support has turned into 3 wks of (hopefully) FMLA paid leave while I care for her 24/7 with no relief. Just started week 2 and I will have at least a half day to myself tomorrow when the home helper agency I've hired arrives.
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that's got to be some relief.
mom-care mojo.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Ageism in that context must suck. Mojo! have been self employed for so long (other than myI ski job which is really specialized and doesn't really count) that I just have not had to deal with the corporate crap many of you have had to. OTOH, I have to work for the asshole pictured on the left!!!
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It's funny that my resume gets me in the door at interviews. They see that I got my BA in 1998 and my MA in 2002; when I walk in the door I can sometimes see the surprise on the interviewer's face. They are expecting someone younger.
 
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