Mental health check-in

sunvalleylaw said:
Absolutely. Movement, particularly anything that has a bilateral component, such as turning, is good. In addition to the cardiovascular and brain chemical effects of spinning up that system. I do well with at least some intensity/interval sort of efforts mentally, in addition to just a long grind, as well, at least once or twice a week. Nature is really good. Outside. Bi-lateral stimulation has been helpful in the past. in fact, my attempts at meditating, or more accurately, mindfulness, as I don't think I am really good at actual meditation, is aided by some visualization, and tactile bilateral such as holding a stone in each hand and sensing one than the the other along with the visualizing. Often this will be a ski turn either on water or snow that is being visualized. Amazing how it centers me.

In the therapist's office before Covid, was making a lot of progress and felt ready to really be on top of the pedal stroke so to speak on a lot of the stuff I just said, then Covid and set-back. Was handling my symptoms a lot better, and was slowly, slowly moving forward on my foundational stuff, and was going to follow up on the ADHD/ADD evaluation stuff. Though it is amazing how long it takes me to get stuff like that calendared and done.

In our marriage and family life, I thought we had been making significant progress. But my wife spoke her mind honestly last night and that is better than not.

Getting the financial recovery plan back on board seems to help, and I don't think she is kicking me to the curb just yet. But, there is work to do. In a way, I guess forcing a deeper dive on this stuff may be a really good thing.

Also, was able to get signed up with my prior therapist at her new place and have an appointment for Wednesday after next. I am presuming that is zoom or something but am waiting for the appointment confirmation. It was all online and electronic to get signed up. Fine with me.

My wife was going to look at options for a joint counselor who is not either of our personal therapists.
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One more thing. the above strategies require me to overcome inertia, and some days that has been harder. The lack of social exercise options such as group rides has been hard. My ride I used to go to died anyway. A really good thing has been that gravel bike as I can just throw my leg over my bike in my own driveway and not have to drive anywhere and start pedaling, and can get to some nice places. That has been a God send.
 
Been using FB exclusively for groups and the marketplace but you know, you see your feed at every login.

Decided a few weeks ago that I would boot anyone who posted racist garbage or blatant untrue political/covid stuff. Couple people here and there since. Saturday I saw my feed filled with that BS and started the purge; unfriending people I've known since elementary school, worked with at various jobs, shared incredible experiences & terrible tragedies with. Some I've considered family in the past.

It really bummed me out that people I've been close to over the years have devolved into these horrible online personas who I no longer know or share any values with & they do not entertain any dialog that contradicts their attitudes. Started thinking about what value FB actually plays in my life and how the platform doesn't seem interested in discouraging this behavior. Deleted FB .
 
Lerxst said:
Been using FB exclusively for groups and the marketplace but you know, you see your feed at every login.

Decided a few weeks ago that I would boot anyone who posted racist garbage or blatant untrue political/covid stuff. Couple people here and there since. Saturday I saw my feed filled with that BS and started the purge; unfriending people I've known since elementary school, worked with at various jobs, shared incredible experiences & terrible tragedies with. Some I've considered family in the past.

It really bummed me out that people I've been close to over the years have devolved into these horrible online personas who I no longer know or share any values with & they do not entertain any dialog that contradicts their attitudes. Started thinking about what value FB actually plays in my life and how the platform doesn't seem interested in discouraging this behavior. Deleted FB .
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Having moved away from my area of origin, it has been a great place to stay connected over the years, with family, family friends, old classmates, etc. The old classmates part has become problematic of late as you have said. I have used the "snooze" or "unfollow" feature a lot in recent times. Which has helped. But it seems most of my friends and family are not much around any more, so it is starting to become questionable. It think there are still enough people I care about that I stay connected with that I will keep it, for now. But am beginning to wonder.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
One more thing. the above strategies require me to overcome inertia, and some days that has been harder. The lack of social exercise options such as group rides has been hard. My ride I used to go to died anyway. A really good thing has been that gravel bike as I can just throw my leg over my bike in my own driveway and not have to drive anywhere and start pedaling, and can get to some nice places. That has been a God send.
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Yeah group rides and peer pressure are motivators that I miss right now. When you show up for the same Saturday ride for years, knowing people are going to talk shit about you for not showing up, it gets me out of bed in the morning. Even though you know it’s all pain and suffering coming up. Thank God for adrenaline and endorphins.
 
rickenvox said:
Yeah group rides and peer pressure are motivators that I miss right now. When you show up for the same Saturday ride for years, knowing people are going to talk shit about you for not showing up, it gets me out of bed in the morning. Even though you know it’s all pain and suffering coming up. Thank God for adrenaline and endorphins.
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I am still riding, but after that ride ceased a couple summers ago, I seem to have lost the urge or knowhow on how to suffer. Or push myself into that suffering range. As you say, that motivation was more being competitive with other peers, and was group oriented. And the shit talking was epic. Hanging around after the ride over a beer and laughing at and with each other was really a therapeutic thing for me. I tried to find a group mountain bike ride last year, but could not. There are a couple roadie rides, but I'm not really a roadie. But, I was going to try one of the rides anyway this summer. But that didn't happen obviously.

But the gravel bike has been a great thing. I have been able to get out, AWAY FROM PEOPLE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, and out in nature, and get some good miles in on a bike. And that has been one good thing that has been going on.
 
Got another ride in today, on my mountain bike, and took advantage of some lefts and rights on the trail, and enjoying outside. Also got a much better night's sleep last night. Slept not very much on Sunday night after my wife had said that to me. We are working on getting into some counseling, and I am working on the other stuff, so feel like at least there is progress. And got a ride in, so that is nice.
 
Well, for another try at a fun artistic pursuit, I put it out there on FB that I wanted to find some local people who might want to form a rock oriented group that could play outside at a distance while the weather is good (my yard or driveway would work fine), and look into finding a way to work online as well. I got one reply so far from a drummer I am aware of who I like personally, and think will be a good fit. Even if I just get another guitarist or two that are cromulent, maybe a couple of us could share bass duties (though I don't really know anything beyond the root right now as far as playing bass). Figured it was worth a try, and is something I have wanted to do. Worth a try.
 
I'm back at work which is nice. It's going to be a rough year I think but getting out if the lockdown drudgery will be good.
 
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OK, I think I just lost my shit. I think death has got in my head. Between covid and DinoMikeSr losing his wife I have become obsessed with physical contact with mine. Every time I see her, and since neither one of us is working I see her all the time, I want to touch her. Hold her hand or put my arms around her. Any sort of physical contact. I know you can't go around in contact with each other 24 hours a day but for some reason I feel I'm failing if I don't. It's like fear of separation is causing me to want to over compensate by being overly clingy. This is not normal for me, or us, as we both come from ethnic backrounds that are not known for PDAs. I'm trying to figure out if this is going to be in my head long term or if it's just visiting.
 
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Not sure if it's the dog,being back at work (which touch wood is going pretty well) or both but I'm feeling really good just now.
 
Just doing normal things makes ones mood better, I find.

I'm mostly working remote, but my brief forays into the field are energizing. I feel like I'm 'doing something' , and I have real contact with other human beings.

(not that you guys aren't cool in your own way!)
 
I canceled my gym membership a while ago and the summer heat has killed any motivation to get out and do anything, so I bought a stationary bike trainer stand and used it for the first time last night. I just set up in the living room and found something to watch and I rode for about 30 minutes. I'd forgotten how important exercise is, I felt noticeably better immediately.

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I am continuing to move forward and feeling better than last week. Except my knee is fucking up and clunking on the inside of my right knee, and feeling kinda unstable. Some light associated swelling, and general irritation about the knee and up into my quad/IT band too. Great. So now, no good exercise options until I can get in and get that figured out. Still doing ok today though.
 
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