The stupid injury thread.

jp_nyc

jp_nyc

Kick Henry Jackassowski
I thought that I could not possibly injure myself in a lamer way than the time I threw my back out when I bent over to tie my shoe. But today I threw my back out while I was sitting down and tying my shoe. I’m not even 50. My golden years are going to suck.
 
In the Michael Douglas TV Series, The Kominsky Method, his character, Sandy Kominsky, throws his back out wiping his ass. That hasn't happened to me, yet.

I have a trick back. I have not thrown my back out tying, or reaching for, my shoes. But, I have thrown out my back in many different, random ways. I've done it climbing stairs, bending over a bicycle to work on it, reaching for something on a shelf, putting a food bowl down for the dog, siting on the couch watching TV, and even sneezing. I have a special back brace I use to help get me through it. I can cinch it up tight for some support.

My rheumatologist always tests my flexibility by having me touch my toes. It's never been a problem, so far.
 
Tweaked my back in high school phys-ed class playing 3-second ball.
I had brand new high tops on.
I jumped up, missed intercepting a pass, landed while twisting to follow the ball.
My feet stuck. My upper body kept turning.

I kinda walked it off during phys-ed.

Next class was geography. By the end of that class, I couldn’t get out of my chair without assistance.
Muscle spasms in your back are a bitch.
 
dodgechargerfan said:
Tweaked my back in high school phys-ed class playing 3-second ball.
I had brand new high tops on.
I jumped up, missed intercepting a pass, landed while twisting to follow the ball.
My feet stuck. My upper body kept turning.

I kinda walked it off during phys-ed.

Next class was geography. By the end of that class, I couldn’t get out of my chair without assistance.
Muscle spasms in your back are a bitch.
Click to expand...

Before I had herniated and bulging discs, I just good old fashioned hurt my back. It just kept twitching. Muscle relaxers are a wonderful thing.

But before he gave them to me, he asked me if I did it at work. I told him that I had heard that you can hurt yourself and not have pain till much later so I wasn't sure. He knew I was a carpet installer so, he said what else could it be. I said we have a baby that just turned 6 weeks old. Doctor still looks at me like I'm and idiot. I said 6 weeks is how long you are supposed to wait after giving birth to have sex. I thought he was going to fall off his little stool laughing.
 
No injuries are stupid.

I've tweaked my back doing really stupid stuff, but never wiping my ass, lol.
The last really bad one was lifting a new toilet from the cart into the back of my truck in the Home Depot parking lot. And I had a employee help.
By the time I got home, I couldn't twist my head around to look out the side windows, and could barely get out of the truck.
 
There was one dramatic way I threw my back out. You could call it stupid since it happened jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. I went to sky dive for the first time with a group of people from work.

I did a tandem jump, with a pro sky diver attached behind me. We jumped out of the plane. He told me to pull the cord. I pulled it and the chute deployed with a big a rip in it. I did not even know because I was looking down. I could feel some drag from the chute, so I assumed it was working fine until the pro said, “This chute is bad. We have to let it go.” I said, “Well, that happens sometimes, right?” The pro shouts, “Not to me!”

We release the main chute. We deploy the backup. Again, I don’t look up. The chute seems to be working. He tells me, “When I tell you to flare, pull real hard.” I do as I’m told. We land and tumble. I thought I was fine, but I started to feel my back tighten up. My back went out. I was in bed for 3 days with muscle relaxers. I missed work. Even when I returned I wasn’t 100% for days.

One of the people from work who did a sky dive the same day went up in a plane with the same pro after me. The pro told him the story, including a detail I didn’t know. The backup chute also had a rip in it. I never knew because I never looked up and the pro did not tell me the backup chute was ripped.

Imagine my work friend hearing this story as he’s in an airplane getting ready to jump out and sky dive for the first time. He did not chicken out. He did the jump. Of course, the chute worked perfect for him.
 
I meant to answer this thread sooner, but I had 'Too Many Requests'. I apologize.

While my injury wasn't stupid, there were a few dumbells involved.
Here goes: I had a week off work and was heading to Lake Mead for a waterskii trip. I decided to hit the gym before I headed out. I was returning my 50lb dumbells to the rack, when I encountered a dude blocking the space while doing his set. I leaned past him to put my dumbells back, and i banged the 55lb dumbell that was next to my weight's destination. The larger weights are not fully supported by the rack. They hang over the edge. My 'bump' caused the 55er to tumble off, and squash my big toe like a grape. I didn't make a peep. Dude next to me said, "bro, did that hit your foot?" in a low, grumbling voice, I said, "yeah." I headed for home after that. I left a bloody trail on the gym carpet.

I canceled the lake trip, and poured hydrogen peroxide on my wound a few times a day. I felt I didn't need no doctor. It took 4 weeks until my big toe quit oozing blood and goop on my socks.

I don't feel I was stupid by injuring my toe. I blame the faulty dumbell rack. I was old school. I sought no lawyer, and I saw no doctor.

Stay at least 15 seconds for Steve's duck walk:

*this thread has been done.
 
Last edited:
Andrew Sak said:
I meant to answer this thread sooner, but I had 'Too Many Requests'. I apologize.

While my injury wasn't stupid, there were a few dumbells involved.
Here goes: I had a week off work and was heading to Lake Mead for a waterskii trip. I decided to hit the gym before I headed out. I was returning my 50lb dumbells to the rack, when I encountered a dude blocking the space while doing his set. I leaned past him to put my dumbells back, and i banged the 55lb dumbells that was next to my weight's destination. The larger weights are not fully supported by the rack. They hangover. My 'bump' caused the 55er to tumble off, and squash my big toe like a grape. I didn't make a peep. Dude next to me said, "bro, did that hit your foot," in a low, grumbling voice, I said, "yeah." I headed for home after that. I left a bloody trail on the gym carpet.

I canceled the lake trip, and poured hydrogen peroxide on my wound a few times a day. I felt I didn't need no doctor. It took 4 weeks until my big toe quit oozing blood and goop on my socks.

I don't feel I was stupid by injuring my toe. I blame the faulty dumbell rack. I was old school. I sought no lawyer, and I saw no doctor.

Stay at least 15 seconds for Steve's duck walk:

*this thread has been done.
Click to expand...

It’s amazing that you didn’t break your toe. I dropped a sewer lid on my toe when I was a kid. There was very little blood involved. The clue that my toe had broken came when I tried to walk away and fell down. I was on crutches for weeks while the toe healed.
 
jrockbridge said:
It’s amazing that you didn’t break your toe. I dropped a sewer lid on my toe when I was a kid. There was very little blood involved. The clue that my toe had broken came when I tried to walk away and fell down. I was on crutches for weeks while the toe healed.
Click to expand...
I probably did. That first toe knuckle to the tip exploded. The rest of the toe was fine. Strangely, it didn't hurt much. There was no held-in pressure, as there were plenty of exit wounds for the blood. A few weeks later, I dropped a piece of metal on the other big toe. That probably was stupid. I had a picture of both big toes sans nails. I can't find it. It was in the junk drawer.

Ouch on your sewar lid incident. I'm sure there's a story as to why you were trying to get in the sewer. Stay classy jrockbridge.
 
Andrew Sak said:
Shitting that out must have hurt like a son of a biscuit.
While I havent been down in a sewer, I have walked through 100 yards of storm drain tunnel.

I wonder if they considered calling this song Storm Drain?


Click to expand...

No. These were storm sewers meant to drain the streets when it rained. Lots of leaves in them during the fall. The outlet of the storm sewers in my neighborhood in Maryland fed the into the creek about a mile from my home. Bathroom toilets and sinks went into separate sewage drains that went to a sewage treatment plant.
 
jrockbridge said:
No. These were storm sewers meant to drain the streets when it rained. Lots of leaves in them during the fall. The outlet of the storm sewers in my neighborhood in Maryland fed the into the creek about a mile from my home. Bathroom toilets and sinks went into separate sewage drains that went to a sewage treatment plant.
Click to expand...
I apologize. I've been sitting on that shitting out a baseball joke for a while. Those manhole covers seem pretty bullet proof. Heavy too.

You didn't try crawling through the gutter drain?
b83990d9-1cbf-47cc-bf43-dd557eba25e0_1920x1080.jpg
 
Andrew Sak said:
I apologize. I've been sitting on that shitting out a baseball joke for a while. Those manhole covers seem pretty bullet proof. Heavy too.

You didn't try crawling through the gutter drain?
View attachment 121446
Click to expand...
I was too large to fit through the gutter drain. Periodically, I pushed smaller children in the neighborhood down through the gutter drain into the arms of Pennywise. I feel bad for them, but it was about my survival.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top