Motorik
Kick Henry Jackassowski
That is brilliant.
Question: Hypothetical offer to be God-King of Ancient Egypt
- Thread starter Motorik
- Start date
That is brilliant.
Monson
Sonic Automatist
That's a tough question. I mean like modern life, being a god-king has its ups and downs as well. But given the fact that I get to keep my 21st century knowledge I'll give it a go.
While I don't consider myself a political animal I guess I have a few tricks up my sleeve. If old grumpy Yah gives me a headache I'm going to up the ante (up the ankh?) and go all postmodern on him and tell him he's basically a social construct by a politically and militarily inferior but perhaps intellectually superior minor city-state beyond the edge of civilisation. Maybe I should learn how to play "Eruption" on a Sitar before I go so I can impress Babylonian diplomats? Or would "Misirlou" be the better choice?
Thinking about it, polytheism has its advantages, and the ancient Egyptian variant can be both hilarious and very flexible. If a god-king is feeling a little blue after an altercation during the legislative assembly, his daughter might drop by and show him her private parts for laughs. Pretty much every god can take the shape of and function like another which makes resource management so much easier than having to deal with today's highly specialised workforce in, say, telco.
When my Ka (lifeforce) is leaving my body, probably at an early age, I will glance at my 18 foot statue in my bedroom of Isis nursing the doomed Horus, shed a tear, and say fuck it, I did what I had to do, my tomb will stand until the end of the world, and my afterlife will be so much more glorious than anything anyone from all these wannabe, second-rate, low-tier empires can even imagine.
This was just the beginning.
While I don't consider myself a political animal I guess I have a few tricks up my sleeve. If old grumpy Yah gives me a headache I'm going to up the ante (up the ankh?) and go all postmodern on him and tell him he's basically a social construct by a politically and militarily inferior but perhaps intellectually superior minor city-state beyond the edge of civilisation. Maybe I should learn how to play "Eruption" on a Sitar before I go so I can impress Babylonian diplomats? Or would "Misirlou" be the better choice?
Thinking about it, polytheism has its advantages, and the ancient Egyptian variant can be both hilarious and very flexible. If a god-king is feeling a little blue after an altercation during the legislative assembly, his daughter might drop by and show him her private parts for laughs. Pretty much every god can take the shape of and function like another which makes resource management so much easier than having to deal with today's highly specialised workforce in, say, telco.
When my Ka (lifeforce) is leaving my body, probably at an early age, I will glance at my 18 foot statue in my bedroom of Isis nursing the doomed Horus, shed a tear, and say fuck it, I did what I had to do, my tomb will stand until the end of the world, and my afterlife will be so much more glorious than anything anyone from all these wannabe, second-rate, low-tier empires can even imagine.
This was just the beginning.
Bob411
thrumming with potential
Peen Simmons
Let’s Get Obtuse!
I think being God-King of Egypt whilst having to retain one’s 21st century knowledge would be a cruel fate. Because I would know that all this was bullshit while lacking the certainty/conviction of context and belief that allows being top dog in a different framework to be meaningful/fulfilling. I mean, I’d be stuck with my 21st century suspicions that the Egyptian cult was just a bunch of weird superstitious nonsense while everyone around me was all into it and believing I was semi-divine and that a giant crocodile was eating the sun during eclipses or whatever. It would be maddening.
Can you imagine having to conduct some bullshit chariot war against the Hittites knowing that it was all pointless and no one cared who looked at whose oxen funny or whatever? But if you didn’t do it then that meant the rabble would assume some god with a rat’s head on a people body was displeased by my cowardice or some shit and all the grain would turn to toads. What an annoying job. I’d only take this whole pharaoh gig if my mind could be wiped and I was able to believe my own hype.
Can you imagine having to conduct some bullshit chariot war against the Hittites knowing that it was all pointless and no one cared who looked at whose oxen funny or whatever? But if you didn’t do it then that meant the rabble would assume some god with a rat’s head on a people body was displeased by my cowardice or some shit and all the grain would turn to toads. What an annoying job. I’d only take this whole pharaoh gig if my mind could be wiped and I was able to believe my own hype.
Chicken Man
Kick Henry Jackassowski
Am I drifting into senescence, or have we had this conversation before, prompted by a question for Motorik?
Motorik
Kick Henry Jackassowski
It does seem very 'Motorik topic'. Now that you've said that it feels like we've talked about this before, so I did a forum search and it's not getting anything like that. I must be drifting the same way.