How bad would this be?

Every family, and even individuals members of that family, have different expectations and consequences of not complying with those expectations when it comes to who is obligated to do what when these events come up.

In mine, most everyone is pretty understanding about relatively short notice events that require folks to re-arrange schedules, have kids/SOs that can't make it & travel a distance at their own expense. No one would hold a grudge if Chad didn't attend in this circumstance but they'd all be glad to see him if he did.
 
DdBob said:
Have you lost touch with your brother because you two drifted apart dfue to something like distance and just not seeing each other on a regular basis or was there a rift between you two? Nobody wants to go to a wedding (well normal people anyway :embarrassed:) but i suppose you could just use the money excuse. tell him it's just not in your budget to travel all the way out there. If you are truly choosing ATW's over your bro well i hope that sits well with you down the road but realise that if it mighjt not then that's all on you.
Is this the brother you posted the other day in the Spiderman outfit ?
Click to expand...

no, the spiderbro and I are still tight. I'll give you the short version. My family (wife and kids) moved to the Jacksonville area about 10 years ago and stayed for 3 years and we decided to move back to VA. It was just the right move for us and my brother took it as I was choosing VA over him. He is very self centered and only does what he wants. Which is why this is his second marriage. He came up to my parent's house a couple of summers ago fro the 4th of July and was just a total ass to everyone, so I let him know he was being a dick and ruining my mom's 4th. We didn't speak for over a year.

I wish I could pull the money card, but my folks are loaded and they would foot the bill.

@Lerxst nailed it. I'm not choosing ATW over his wedding, it's just another instance of him not giving a shit about anyone else, its all about him and what he wants to do. It's his spring break, so he is off work, so that's when the wedding will be. Never mind his entire family is an 11 hour drive from him and will have to make arrangements in barely 2 months time. He didn't take a minute to think that my other brother and I have kids, and they will be in school and we both are the ones who get our kids to and from school (I work from home and spiderbro is a bartender so he is home during the day). So now we both have to mess with our wives work schedules so they can get the kids where they need to be, or pull them out of school. I called spiderbro last night and he doesn't know how he is going to pull it off either.
 
I was going to say that you should try to go if you can work out the logistics. Family is important. But then seeing the costs for you, yeah, not going just became a more valid option.

What I would do is try to make some kind of effort to see him and his new bride as soon as it becomes viable financially and time wise, and to let him know you want to do that. it will mean a lot to both of them. As a member of a family where all the siblings rarely ever see each other, that can suck.
 
You should go. He might not really appreciate it, but your folks probably will.
 
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