How bad would this be?

Chad

Chad

Slender Hobbit
If I didn't go to my brother's second wedding? My brother and I used to be close, but we barely speak to each other anymore. He texts me today to tell me he's getting married March 23rd. My wife and kids can't go, I'm not taking the kids out of school and we won't have anyone to watch our dog. Plus I made plans months ago to go to see All Them Witches on the 23rd. Who the hell gets married in 2 months?
 
Is going by yourself an option? That way you san be a supportive brother without disrupting your family.

I can see the 2 month thing for a 2nd wedding. I'm guessing it'll be a much smaller affair. Probably just close friends and family. If that's the case, it'd probably mean a lot to him for you to show up. :shrug:
 
shoeless said:
Is going by yourself an option? That way you san be a supportive brother without disrupting your family.
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If I go, it would just be me. If I thought this would be his last wedding, I would just go but I doubt this one will put up with him for more than a couple years.
 
I'm kinda torn on this...

I've had a LONG history of familial discord...for many years my brother and I could barely tolerate each other's presence at family functions but dealt with it for my mother's sake if not just for the sake of family harmony...somewhere along the line we put all of that shit behind us and get along very well now...we even play golf together several times each summer, and we're both pretty competitive out there...

After my father died I basically turned my back on that whole side of the family, and for over 8 years now have had no interactions with them whatsoever...I know I've missed weddings, births, and even a couple funerals...

But brothers are different than aunts uncles and cousins...

I think if I were presented with a situation such as this I would probably feel the need to be big enough to go...if it went bad I'd try to be damned sure I wasn't the cause...but you never know, maybe things work themselves out as a result...
 
Chad said:
If I go, it would just be me. If I thought this would be his last wedding, I would just go but I doubt this one will put up with him for more than a couple years.
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Hahaha, that may be a deal breaker then. OTOH, if it's not too hard to get to, it could be fun (or maybe not...dunno). Is there a pool for how long it's going to last?
 
shoeless said:
Hahaha, that may be a deal breaker then. OTOH, if it's not too hard to get to, it could be fun (or maybe not...dunno). Is there a pool for how long it's going to last?
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This one may beat the first wife because she has kids and has custody but I wouldn't think more than 2 years. It's in Jacksonville and I just checked flights and the cheapest was over 300. It's the week of the players tournament there and my folks said the cheapest hotels were $250 a night that week. So I'm also looking at close to a grand and that's if I fly in Friday and leave Sunday. I could buy a an awesome amp for that much.
 
jelloman said:
I'm kinda torn on this...

I've had a LONG history of familial discord...for many years my brother and I could barely tolerate each other's presence at family functions but dealt with it for my mother's sake if not just for the sake of family harmony...somewhere along the line we put all of that shit behind us and get along very well now...we even play golf together several times each summer, and we're both pretty competitive out there...

After my father died I basically turned my back on that whole side of the family, and for over 8 years now have had no interactions with them whatsoever...I know I've missed weddings, births, and even a couple funerals...

But brothers are different than aunts uncles and cousins...

I think if I were presented with a situation such as this I would probably feel the need to be big enough to go...if it went bad I'd try to be damned sure I wasn't the cause...but you never know, maybe things work themselves out as a result...
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I can see that. The good thing is, that since my brother moved to FL 20 years ago, he has kinda lost touch with most of the family. I think the last time he saw my grandmother or my aunts and uncles were at my other brother's wedding 4 years ago. He didn't even come up for our other grandmother's funeral a couple years ago. I'm not even sure it's going to be a real wedding. He actually texted yesterday to tell me he was getting married, but didn't have a date yet but said it would be late March or early April. My folks called me a few hours later (they are down visiting him now) to see what I thought and I told them the 23 would be tough and there was no way I could make the first 2 weekends in April. I told them what was going on then and they seemed to be ok with me not going. We'll see.
 
And did I mention, I fucking hate weddings. I'd rather get a root canal than go to any wedding. It's amazing, once you are married and quit drinking, there is no fun at weddings.
 
Chad said:
This one may beat the first wife because she has kids and has custody but I wouldn't think more than 2 years. It's in Jacksonville and I just checked flights and the cheapest was over 300. It's the week of the players tournament there and my folks said the cheapest hotels were $250 a night that week. So I'm also looking at close to a grand and that's if I fly in Friday and leave Sunday. I could buy a an awesome amp for that much.
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Road trip! :grin:
 
I’ve been drafted into more than one last minute wedding that has upended actually fun weekend plans. This sort of shit sucks and springing this sort of shit on people is a huge pet peeve. However, I think you should go.

You can see All Them Witches some other time. And the wedding will not be fun. And it sounds like you’ll have to go alone. And it’s gonna suck. But listening to familial whining about the time Chad missed Brad’s wedding for the rest of your life...suckier than going to a boring wedding.

I totally wouldn’t want to go either. And I’d likely have a shitty attitude about it for a while, but two months notice is better than the 5 day heads up that my father-in-law gave us on his second wedding that wrecked an out of state trip I had planned to visit a close friend (planned months in advance). You should go and be pleasant and never talk about it again.
 
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Have you lost touch with your brother because you two drifted apart dfue to something like distance and just not seeing each other on a regular basis or was there a rift between you two? Nobody wants to go to a wedding (well normal people anyway :embarrassed:) but i suppose you could just use the money excuse. tell him it's just not in your budget to travel all the way out there. If you are truly choosing ATW's over your bro well i hope that sits well with you down the road but realise that if it mighjt not then that's all on you.
Is this the brother you posted the other day in the Spiderman outfit ?
 
DdBob said:
Have you lost touch with your brother because you two drifted apart dfue to something like distance and just not seeing each other on a regular basis or was there a rift between you two? Nobody wants to go to a wedding (well normal people anyway :embarrassed:) but i suppose you could just use the money excuse. tell him it's just not in your budget to travel all the way out there. If you are truly choosing ATW's over your bro well i hope that sits well with you down the road but realise that if it mighjt not then that's all on you.
Is this the brother you posted the other day in the Spiderman outfit ?
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I can't speak for Chad but in the context of his post he wasn't suggesting that he was choosing going to ATW over his brother's wedding. It is just one of a number of complicated aspects to his decision.
 
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