Bazooka Joe gum came with a little comic. Remember that? They were never funny

[smurfco]

and the gum tasted like crap! Fuck Bazooka Joe!!!

 

[MonkeyZero]

LOL. The comics did suck and so did the gum. How did they last so long?

 

[shoeless]

Is Bazooka gum not around anymore? Been a while since I browsed the candy aisle at TG&Y.

 

[Peen Simmons]

Hey ho, Bazooka Joe
Where have you been and where did you go?
Yr Bubblegum sucks and your stupid jokes blow
Fuck the horse you road in on, Bazooka Joe

 

[mongooz]

LOL. The comics did suck and so did the gum. How did they last so long?

back when i was a kid, they were like a penny, so there's that.

 

[VoidTerraFirma]

 

[B Valley]

 

[jp_nyc]

I checked Amazon and you can still buy Bazooka Joe. They got rid of the little toy advertisements and made the fortunes bigger. I used to always get lots of Bazooka Joe on Halloween but I haven’t seen it in a store since the eighties.

 

[smurfco]

They were right about the wealth. The health and happiness not so much hahahaha euuughhh ugh.

 

[Tralfaz]

 

[Andrew Sak]

Eat a couple pieces and your jaw's all sore 'n shit. Worse than a bad case of Cap'n Crunch Mouth.
I still want a shirt.

 

[Highernoon]

View attachment 62418

It looks like there are several dozens of chewed Bazookas stuck to his face.

 

[Highernoon]

How old are they suppose to be?
It's a little creepy that this kid has an eye patch.

 

[smurfco]

How old are they suppose to be?
It's a little creepy that this kid has an eye patch.

Official backstory is that he dug his own eye out with a spoon

 

[Andrew Sak]

Official backstory is that he dug his own eye out with a spoon

Did he fill the hole with gum?
You should do a dark Bazooka Joe Bird Index song about that.

 

[dodgechargerfan]

When I was 4, I built a fort out of stale Bazooka Joe Gum.
It's still standing 49 years later.
The owner of the property on which I built it rents the fort out to a family of 5. I had a lot of stale Bazooka Joe gum.

 

[Tralfaz]

Official backstory is that he dug his own eye out with a spoon

He imagined his eye would be soft and slippery like Jell-O when he popped it into his mouth, dissolving quickly in a transient experience for which the only memento would be his gaping eye socket forever silently screaming behind the eye patch. Instead, he discovered during a revelatory ecstasy of pain that his eye was actually quite chewy -- unpliant and unyielding, refusing to move on from the moment -- the unseeing eye a witness to the teeth. With each struggle of his jaw to crush the eye, Joe could hear it mocking him, mocking his pain, screaming into his mouth with a voice that became his own, "CHEW ME JOE! CHOKE ON MY UNFORGIVING SCORN! CHEW UNTIL YOUR JAWS ACHE, FOR I AM THE EYE THAT SEES YOUR PATHETIC WORTHLESSNESS! CHEW!"

Thus, Bazooka Joe was led to develop the special gum that recreates and commemorates that special moment so that all kids can chew and learn, without having to lose an eye to gain that wisdom.

 

[Tiltsta]

I remember being like 7 or so buying this crap with my friends at the local country store. We would look at the comics and think that they really sucked.

 

[B Valley]

The only worse gum was the one that came inside a pack of Beatles cards.

 

[shoeless]

The only worse gum was the one that came inside a pack of Beatles cards.

Baseball card bubble gum was on par with Bazooka Joe, if memory serves...