What if the Little Old Lady from Pasadena drove a Lamborghini Diablo instead of that Dodge of hers, and she blasted through the entrance of a library?

smurfco

smurfco

Meatus McPrepuce
Do you think the song would have been as popular as it was if instead of a brand new shiny red super-stocked Dodge, she had a Lamborghini Diablo, which unlike the Dodge was way too much power for her to handle, and instead of just having a lead foot and racing people, she accidentally lost control of her car and crashed through the front of a library, killing herself and injuring several librarians? What if that was what the song was about explicitly? Do you think the Beach Boys would have had as big a hit with it? Of course the Diablo was not available back then but for teh sake of argument please assume that it was.
 
Sorry, man. Your premise on the power is incorrect.

The Super Stock Dodge has more torque than the Diablo.
The Diablo reports 428 ft-lbs
The Dodge reported, and it is widely agreed that it was under-reported - at 490 ft-lbs.

So, if the little old lady tromped on the gas from a standing start or things got squirelly after a down-shift, there’s a better chance she’d be able to wrangle the Diablo into control than with the Dodge.

If she were to lose control at high-speed, power isn’t really the factor anymore.

Even if we were considering only horsepower, it’s probably a wash.
Both were up in the 500s in terms of horsepower.


She would have a much better view of the screaming librarians in the Dodge, though.
 
dodgechargerfan said:
Sorry, man. Your premise on the power is incorrect.

The Super Stock Dodge has more torque than the Diablo.
The Diablo reports 428 ft-lbs
The Dodge reported, and it is widely agreed that it was under-reported - at 490 ft-lbs.

So, if the little old lady tromped on the gas from a standing start or things got squirelly after a down-shift, there’s a better chance she’d be able to wrangle the Diablo into control than with the Dodge.

If she were to lose control at high-speed, power isn’t really the factor anymore.

Even if we were considering only horsepower, it’s probably a wash.
Both were up in the 500s in terms of horsepower.


She would have a much better view of the screaming librarians in the Dodge, though.
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well she's a lot older now too, you gotta keep that in mind. You can barely walk at her age let alone drive a supercar
 
It would not have been a hit for The Beach Boys.

But, I think Jan & Dean would have knocked it out of the park even with the changes in theme and lyrics.

 
jrockbridge said:
It would not have been a hit for The Beach Boys.

But, I think Jan & Dean would have knocked it out of the park even with the changes in theme and lyrics.

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I'm thinking Gordan Lightfoot with a The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald vibe.

The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times For each librarian in the library
 
Andrew Sak said:
Was there a line in the song about her being a GILF?
If so, yes. It would have been a hit.
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There was a verse in the original version that didn't make the final cut

Well she's got a craving for more than just speed, yeah
(go granny go granny go granny go)
And she wants you to satisfy her sexual needs, yeah
(go granny go granny go granny go)
She might be drier than a box of saltines
But she's still a gold-certified fuck machine
 
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smurfco said:
There was a verse in the original version that didn't make the final cut

Well she's got a craving for more than just speed, yeah
(go granny go granny go granny go)
And she wants you to fulfill her sexual needs, yeah
(go granny go granny go granny go)
She might be drier than a box of saltines
But she's still a gold-certified fuck machine
Click to expand...
Swap sexual needs with baking needs, and fuck machine with slot machine, and you have the new theme song for a Golden Girl spinoff!

I'm thinking Sally Field.
 
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