Speaking of being an A-hole...

[Ignored Member]

Nemesis is not the name of the guy or the band.

The guy, once upon a time way back when, was a local musician that is older than me, and lived less than a block away. I met him in 1985 by random circumstances while I was dating his then bass player's little sister.

The dude was larger than life. 6'4" with platinum blonde hair and the look of a true rock star. He was infatuated with the same music I was, but because he had been around longer, he was much more versed and knowledgeable about the genre and had an amazing music collection. The first time I went to his house (I was 15) and saw his Roland Juno 60, ARP OMNI, and Rickenbacher bass along with that insane collection, I was in awe.

He had already been out on the scene playing in bands that covered the music I loved and was therefore somewhat of a God to me.

His birth name is Roger. Back then, he went by "Rajar". He was always egocentric and quirky, and had a revolving door of band mates due to his unique and difficult personality. However, to his credit, for several years, he was much nicer to me than he was most others, and he genuinely supported and inspired me to get involved in live music despite being the punk kid with no skill.

In fact, my first real band was made up entirely of his former band mates who were also older and had a lot of experience themselves, and our first show was in support of his then current band at a hugely popular local venue that I wasn't even old enough to enter as I was only 16. I owe a great deal of gratitude to him for his part in of all of the awesome moments in my life that stemmed from that early support.

At some point in 88?, he got twisted up over something, and decided that he hated me. I'm just one of many that experienced a similar scenario.

Over the next 3 decades, we rarely interacted, and when we did, it was never exactly pleasant. During that time, he changed his name to Raven White for many years and ran through a couple hundred more band mates. A couple of years ago, he changed it again to Valentino Frankenstein and still goes by that.

A few months, I reached out to him to try and bury the hatchet and see if at the very least, we could be civil since our bands have similar themes and it was inevitable that we would wind up on the same bill at some point.

It was slow going at first, but we did manage to patch things up and he even called upon us to gig with his band on two days notice because the other band suddenly canceled. We had a great time, and it was a true pleasure to be sharing a stage together again after so many years. It was a huge moment of closure and bittersweet reflection.

That's also when I met his bass player, who grabbed me in the parking lot to gush over how great we were.

Anyway, during this recent reconciliation period, he often refers to himself as my "Personal Nemesis", which is unfortunately pretty accurate as it relates to the nearly 30 years of stupidity.

It's difficult for me, because as much as I feel indebted to him, and am glad to have resolved those old issues, when I see how he treats his band mates as he did on Friday, I am reminded of precisely why he is so notorious and has gone through so many of them. It's nearly impossible to find a musician in the San Diego metro area of 7,000,000+ people who aren't either former band mates, or know precisely who he is and refuse to work with him.

So, on one hand, I feel bad for him, and a tad guilty, but on the other hand, I feel like a hero for giving his bass player both an escape and a sanctuary from the madness.

Got it. Thanks. I thought it might be a Shriekback cover band or something.

 

[smorgdonkey]

BTW, Nemesis just messaged me stating that he isn't sure, but his bass player and drummer might have quit on him.

I had to resist the overwhelming urge to inform him that his bass player has already paid me his share of the September studio rent.

Thug life.

Oh...this will renew stupid rivalry for sure based upon the "isn't sure" part.

 

[OGG]

Oh...this will renew stupid rivalry for sure based upon the "isn't sure" part.

No doubt, but I made a sincere effort to be as friendly as possible with him and even went as far as to both turn down the first opportunity to steal his bass player after said bass player answered my CL ad looking for a bass player two months ago. As much as I would have loved to bring him on board then, I refused citing that very reason, and went as far as being open and up front with Roger about the situation and why I chose to avoid going down the road.

Nevertheless, it was ultimately Chas' decision to leave, which he did for good reason. I didn't recruit him away.

I still have an obligation to my band mates who have hung in there with me through thick and thin and have invested so much into the band. That obligation doesn't change simply because doing what's right for the greater good is going to twist the knickers of fifty something year old grown man who drove away yet another great band member by being a douchenozzle.

I wish it weren't such a sure thing, as I have enjoyed our recent state of detante, but I'm too old and have too many responsibilities to worry about it.

The renewed vigor and excitement amongst the entire band is wonderful. Each of them shared such with me last night. I myself have a new spark of passion that has been missing for a while.

As has been covered already, it's just business.

 

[OGG]

Update: somehow, no doubt in large part due to the extreme levels I went to in order to avoid this thing turning into a shitstorm, the fallout has been all but mitigated.

Nemesis is a little pissed off at his now former bass player, but the two of us are good.

I actually hung out with him for a couple of hours the other night when I delivered a thumb drive to him with the raw video from his last show. It was a pleasant visit and ultimately a very positive and productive one.

Meanwhile, MY NEW BASS PLAYER is killing it! I am blown away. They guy is amazing and couldn't be nicer. He showed up to rehearsal yesterday ready to blast through 30 songs that up until two weeks ago he had never played, many he had never heard.

He also brought a keytar (really) for laying down some PHAT synth bass lines on several songs that have such in their original form. Nailed them all. Most productive rehearsal ever.

 

[335clone]

F'n awesome.