Nightmare gig stories

Muppet

Muppet

Cat in the Hat
I thought I'd get this thread started after yesterday's nightmare gig. I was hired in to play lead in this band called Swordfish Circus. They were all seasoned musicians, so much so that they didn't feel the need to rehearse. So yeah, the endings of every song were kinda sketchy.

But that's not the nightmare part. We were almost all the way through this outdoor show in the blazing Chicago sun. We were halfway through Hey Joe when the leader of this band, who had not taken his blood pressure meds since getting out of prison a month ago, had a heart attack on stage and collapsed into the drum kit. We kept playing, assuming he was just drunk, and trying to make the best of it. I put down my guitar to help him up while another guy solo'd, when he said "it's my heart, I think I've had another heart attack." At this point I stopped the band and we got him off the stage and on his way to the hospital.

So what are some your best war stories? I have more, but I want to hear some of yours first.
 
My first band was a "Gloria" band; if it had 3 chords we could play it. We were all about 16 years old. Somehow, we got asked to play at a wedding reception at the Polish Home Hall. The older relatives hated us, especially since we couldn't play a polka. In the middle of a set, one of them pulled the one plug that all the amps were plugged in to; suddenly all you hear is the drummer, who probably was out of time, anyway.

Those were the days. :eek:
 
Wait...

What was he in prison for?

How ironic would it be if it was because he shot his ol' lady down...
 
Played a wedding reception at 17 for my guitarists brother. We learned standards for 2 months going up to the gig. We played for a couple of hours. Even knocked out a couple of requests that we hadn't learned from a tab book on stage that we all hovered around. (bad enough). Then we ran out of songs and they still wanted us (miraculously) to play.

that's when we had to resort to Seek and Destroy, Indians, 2 Minutes to Midnight...etc...

:facepalm:
 
Played "wind beneath my wings" at a gig once.

And I still have a penis.

Never had a bad gig. If the crowd was non existent we would turn it into a practice.

Damn Muppet- hope the singer is OK - that will be a memorable gig.
 
Played a disastrous gig several years ago at a shithole bar that no longer exists. Had cables break, my guitar slipped off the strap and hit the floor, the monitors weren't working so the lead singer wasn't anywhere NEAR the right key, the bass player was so bad that we had to turn off his volume at the board, and a bunch of drunk rednecks tried to intimidate and start a fight with my sister's then-boyfriend, who was black. Someone threw a drink on him and said, "Hey N*****, fetch me another beer!" and things went downhill from there.

I didn't play another gig for years.
 
I think I may have shared this one before.

We were going to play an apartment party at college and it was sort of loose to begin with: the guys at the apartment had a bit of a band as well and so it was more of a jam. Apparently, though, no one thought of a drum kit. Our drummer decides it'll be brilliant to tape kitchen spoons to his feet and play a set of -- wait for it -- Mattel Synsonic Drums as a replacement. As if that weren't craptabulous enough, the PA head blows about one song in, and we decide to run vocals through a guitar amp.

It was a short night. And it was hot as hell.
 
Multiracial band at a party that turned out to be attended by mostly white power types.

Barely escaped with my neck.
 
Too many to narrow down. :embarrassed:

Never had a band member suffer a major medical emergency during a gig though, so there's always that.
 
High school house party when I was 15. Got set up and ready to play and all was good. Started first song and about 30 seconds in my guitar amp literally went up in smoke!

It was a beastly thing that I had bought at the local mom and pop that was a Traynor head fiited into an Ampeg 2x15 bass amp combo upright.


Decided to drown my sorrows with a bottle of 151 after having already consumed several Bartle's and James...

At some point, the drunk jocko douchebag in the crowd (there's always one) found the loaded AR-15 that belonged to the dad of the kid hosting the party and started walking around pointing it at people... he wound up taking a pretty good beating and was removed from the scene.

I wound up passing out in the grass in the back yard while projectile vomiting.

At some point, I awakened and tried to walk the 2 miles home.

My friends found me walking down the middle of the street on the double yellow line wearing only my pants.

I was carrying my shirt and shoes in one hand and my Firebird in the other.

They drove me home.


I woke up a bit under the weather.
 
I played a high school party when I was 16. As this was 1985, and we were a hair metal band, I borrowed my mom's eye makeup. Someone thought I was the bass player's girlfriend, so I ran in the bathroom and washed my face! Silly asshole, bass players don't have girlfriends.
 
Substitute "bottle of 151" for "bag of weed" and we start sounding like your typical weekend in western PA in the 80's.

Draconian alcohol laws lead kids to other resources.
 
Knox in Box said:
Substitute "bottle of 151" for "bag of weed" and we start sounding like your typical weekend in western PA in the 80's.

Draconian alcohol laws lead kids to other resources.
Click to expand...

When I was a teenager, we used to buy weed from the guy hanging by the payphone in front of 7-11. It was funny, we couldn't walk into the store and buy cigarettes or beer, but the dude out front would sell us weed. So we all smoked pot.
 
Most of my bad gigs have been more "bad day at the office" types of things. Aahzz will come in and win this thread.
 
Prages said:
Too many to narrow down. :embarrassed:

Never had a band member suffer a major medical emergency during a gig though, so there's always that.
Click to expand...

Keep you 1st Aid and CPR up to date please for me and Chuck, we may need you one of these days :embarrassed:
 
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