My gran is on the way out

jbj said:
Thanks everyone.

Spoke to my dad there. He and my uncle were with her overnight. They kept her on pain meds so she was comfortable and she slipped away peacefully around half 2.

She has a good innings - she was born in Stoke and used to tell stories about hiding under the kitchen table while the Luftwaffe bombed them.

She recently divulged that Lemmy came from the same part of town as she did.

Her and my great aunt used to look after their ill gran when they were really young kids like 4-5 years old. A totally different life.

There's 6 grandkids and she used to sit and say how proud she was that we all worked. Not that we had to have great jobs or make tonnes of money, just that we got up in the morning and went out to graft. She was old school like that.

Im going to miss visiting her on Fridays after work. I'm just glad it was quick and relatively pain free, she was showing signs of dementia and each week got a little worse, nothing major but you could see where it was headed so I'm glad she's gone relatively quick and peacefully.

Safe in the arms of Jesus
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I'm sure it's sad for you and your family. In a similar situation when my Gran died also at 96. I was kind of down about it but I went to my music lesson since it was already scheduled. It was at a recording studio and there was a drummer who I had gotten to know (before my lesson there was a band rehearsal). He asked why I was so quiet and I told him. When I said she was 96 and passed quietly and was mostly in control of her faculties he said "Shit man you should be celebrating, we all should be so lucky as to go out like that" And he was right. Celebrate her life and all the good in it
 
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Condolences to you and all who love her. It's never easy to lose a loved one, but it is nice to have family around.
 
nuke_diver said:
I'm sure it's sad for you and your family. In a similar situation when my Gran died also at 96. I was kind of down about it but I went to my music lesson since it was already scheduled. It was at a recording studio and there was a drummer who I had gotten to know (before my lesson there was a band rehearsal). He asked why I was so quiet and I told him. When I said she was 96 and passed quietly and was mostly in control of her faculties he said "Shit man you should be celebrating, we all should be so lucky as to go out like that" And he was right. Celebrate her life and all the good in it
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Yeah I'm of that mindset - it was her time to go.
 
jbj said:
Just received a text saying a very dear family friend has "taken a turn" and died in the pub tonight.

Fuck this weekend
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So my dad and I missed this by around 15-20 minutes. Had a massive heart attack in the pub sitting at the table we'd just been at. There was nothing anyone could have done.

Big Tam (or Thomas when he was in court or getting his collar felt in work!) was one of life's quality characters - not an out and out nutter but he liked a good scrape or adventure especially if it left him with a good story.

He served in Belfast and in bandit country at the height of The Troubles in the 70s and early 80s.

He was a fireman and later station master for 25 years so he has plenty of close calls in his time.

Dead before he hit the floor, a bottle of beer in his hand, tunes on the jukebox and his friends around him is probably the best way he'd wanted to have gone given the choice.
 
Funeral is on Friday.

We're in the process of clearing her house so I've taken a few things including a wild tacky picture that used to sit in her hallway, Mrs jbj will hate it but it will live in my dude / bar room. It sat in her hallway and always reminded me of when we would stay over as kids.
 
Mrs jbj actually quite likes it which is annoying :embarrassed:
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Going to get a slightly less 80s tactic frame and hang it in the hall.
 
jrockbridge said:
Bummer. Mojo your way.

My Mom is 91. She has advanced kidney disease which has lead to accelerated mental decline. She expressed that she’s ready to die. She changed her medical intervention wishes to do not resuscitate. The doctor says she has days, weeks, a few months at most. She’s doing in home hospice and Visiting Angles during the week. Her husband is still in pretty good health considering his age (90’s) but he’s blind. I feel bad for him because my Mom was the person who used to take care of him.
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Mojo
 
Minister visited today to go over the sermon. It was a cathartic experience and it was nice hearing my dad and uncle talking about their younger years and things about my granny I'd never heard.

She was never really into music so picking the tunes was hard. I suggested Vera Lynn's We'll Meet Again as one. It's incredibly maudlin but her formative years were during the war and that's THE ww2 song so it went on the list for Friday which is nice.

There's lots of great old black and white photos, I'm thinking once things have settled I'll pick one to get a single line tattoo along with some of those lyrics. My dad has been threatening to get a tattoo for 20 odd years, I think this might halt his shitebaggery! and he'll eventually get one too. I could be wrong.

He's decided to retire on Thursday (I've been telling him to give up the tools for years!) I hope he sticks to it but I don't know if he will.

I'm ranting but there's a lot going on now. Again thanks for everyone's kind thoughts.
 
Not the ideal timing but there's some changes in my work and I'm being interviewed for Acting Depute Headteacher first thing on Monday morning.

Practically every week when I visited on a Friday we'd do this thing where she'd ask how work was followed by - "are you headteacher yet?" My response would be - "not yet but I'm getting closer"

I've never actually had any great aspirations to be HT, my career has just kind of worked out to where I am in leadership (I think you US weirdos call it faculty or administration?

I'm not expecting to land it but if I do it would have been nice to tell her I'm still not HT but I'm only one down the chain.

Anyways even though I've been pragmatic and looking on the bright side of things, once again thanks for all the kind words, PMs, prayers and thoughts it has meant a lot in a difficult time for us all.
 
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