Mental health check-in

jbj said:
Just found out one of the kids from work has passed away :(
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Was the kids funeral today. He died on Christmas day, brother went in to wake him and he was gone.

A colleague was badly bit on the face by a kid this afternoon, I had to administer the first aid. I'll be astounded if she isn't scarred.

An old colleagues funeral was today too so it's been quite the day / first week back. I'm hunkering down for the weekend with Mrs jbj, Lola, a bunch of wine and beers and junk on the telly.
 
Dr. Google says I am experiencing anhedonia. It’s a symptom rather than a disease or syndrome, or whatever.
I feel somewhat lucky that I noticed something was going on with me and thought to try to figure out what was going on.

I do have moments of happiness, but mostly, I have no interest in things that I used to like to do.
If you were to say, “Do this thing. You’ll have fun.” I won’t disagree, but I won’t care and I won’t look forward to whatever it is, and I’ll likely actively avoid doing it. The fun stuff is very much in the moment and just happen rather than as a result of me wanting them to happen…if that makes sense.

There some basic things I can do at home to help before it gets serious.
All make sense. Most are things like sunshine, fresh air, exercise, diet. All things that I should be doing….but am not enthused about doing. It’s kinda circular.

I’m sharing it here to kind of get it in print and maybe make myself accountable to do the things that I need to do.
 
dodgechargerfan said:
Dr. Google says I am experiencing anhedonia. It’s a symptom rather than a disease or syndrome, or whatever.
I feel somewhat lucky that I noticed something was going on with me and thought to try to figure out what was going on.

I do have moments of happiness, but mostly, I have no interest in things that I used to like to do.
If you were to say, “Do this thing. You’ll have fun.” I won’t disagree, but I won’t care and I won’t look forward to whatever it is, and I’ll likely actively avoid doing it. The fun stuff is very much in the moment and just happen rather than as a result of me wanting them to happen…if that makes sense.

There some basic things I can do at home to help before it gets serious.
All make sense. Most are things like sunshine, fresh air, exercise, diet. All things that I should be doing….but am not enthused about doing. It’s kinda circular.

I’m sharing it here to kind of get it in print and maybe make myself accountable to do the things that I need to do.
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be careful with that, it can overtake you with surprising speed. talk to someone if you're not already... my proverbial DMs are open should you want a sympathetic ear.
 
REALLY struggling to clear my head today.

Can't go into details obvs and Im doing everything in my very limited power that I can but one of our kids is going through a really rough time / home set up which is further deteriorating and I've got a horrible gut feeling something really bad is going to happen to him.
 
Well, this is interesting. For the last three years or so, I've been very depressed at how rapidly I was sliding into old age lack of energy. At 65 I felt like I was 90 - I didn't have the energy or motivation do anything. I was really worried that I'd be couch bound in another few years.

For a couple of different reasons, last week I skipped two days of meds (Lipitor and ezetimibe). On the third day I had more energy than I could remember in recent years. On the chance that it wasn't a fluke, I continued to not take my meds. Holy cow! I feel 15 years younger! I've gotten more work done around the house in the last few days than I've done all last month - and I enjoyed it. Then I realized that my rapidly declining energy started about the same time I started Lipitor.

I started taking the ezetimibe again and haven't noticed the return of fatigue, so it is the Lipitor. I guess I need to find a doc that will give me something other than a statin for my cholesterol.
 
GomezAddams said:
Well, this is interesting. For the last three years or so, I've been very depressed at how rapidly I was sliding into old age lack of energy. At 65 I felt like I was 90 - I didn't have the energy or motivation do anything. I was really worried that I'd be couch bound in another few years.

For a couple of different reasons, last week I skipped two days of meds (Lipitor and ezetimibe). On the third day I had more energy than I could remember in recent years. On the chance that it wasn't a fluke, I continued to not take my meds. Holy cow! I feel 15 years younger! I've gotten more work done around the house in the last few days than I've done all last month - and I enjoyed it. Then I realized that my rapidly declining energy started about the same time I started Lipitor.

I started taking the ezetimibe again and haven't noticed the return of fatigue, so it is the Lipitor. I guess I need to find a doc that will give me something other than a statin for my cholesterol.
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Wes Powell syndrome cuts down another middle aged dude in his prime.
 
After a YEAR of tapering off I quit taking Olanzapine three months ago. I still can’t sleep without drugs. I develop a tolerance to Ambien quickly so I’m cycling through Ambien ER, edibles strong enough to knock out a horse, and Xanax. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to travel somewhere that I can’t buy weed again. On the post-edibles days I tend to be in a shitty mood all day. My doctor told me to switch to bong hits but I really don’t want the kids to notice that I start to reek of weed every night at 7:30.

Also, it sucks to ingest so much THC and not being able to enjoy it.
 
My metal state is better than it’s been in a long time.
But dammit am I never not gonna crave a goddam cigarette?
I had to quit or die from bronchitis. Ol lungs finally reached their limit.
 
Pine Apple Slim said:
My metal state is better than it’s been in a long time.
But dammit am I never not gonna crave a goddam cigarette?
I had to quit or die from bronchitis. Ol lungs finally reached their limit.
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I didn’t know you were a metal guy, but that’s cool too I guess. And yeah, cigarettes are awesome.
 
I saw my doctor today. He’s happy that my edibles habit and alternating between cannabis and ambien is working out. Colorado psychiatrists are wild.
 
I ended up dumping my doctor. Things have been sliding with him for a while. I knew things were off when I told him I was waking up a little hungover from edibles some days and his response was that I should switch to bong hits followed by a lecture on how to use a bong. During my last appointment he didn’t want to talk to me at all, he just talked about random world news stuff that he’s learned from all the time watching YouTube. After lots of searching I gave up on finding a doctor. The big things for doctors here are ketamine and psychedelics, neither of which I needed. But there are LOTS of PMHNP-BCs in the area now. I ended up going with a guy who has a doctorate of nursing practice from Yale and extensive experience with ADHD and bipolar (which makes sense because ADHD and bipolar are commonly comorbid). As I talked about the last 10+ years with doctors he was saddened, distressed, angered, said he wanted to punch my doctor in the face, shook his head, wanted to punch my doctor again, put his head down again, and wrapped things up in disgust.

So that confirms something I suspected; my doctor was lax, sloppy, and incompetent. He repeatedly prescribed medications that should not go together, kept me on a far too high dose that his predecessor should not have put me on, took me off of a medication without talking about withdrawl symptoms, did not know how to treat said withdrawl symptoms, and thought it was okay when I was self-medicating said withdrawl symptoms with cannabis. I may end up filing a complaint with the board.

Now I’m on Abilify and hopefully will finally get off Zyprexa entirely, be able to sleep without getting stoned, and quit drinking completely. Yay!
 
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