Do people still tell old-style jokes anymore?

A rabbi, priest and a Methodist preacher walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Is this some kind of a joke?"


A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"
The screwdriver, puzzled, says "You have a drink named 'Clarence?'"

A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Where'd you get the pig?"
The woman, confused, says "That's not a pig. It's a duck."
The bartender replies "I wasn't talking to you."

A termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"

What do you call a bohemian who's been tossed out of the bar?
A bounced Czech.
 
What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts.
What do call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth.
 
Two guy are out on a boat on the ocean when the boat begins to sink in the distance they see an island.
The two guys decide they need to swim for the island so they jump into the ocean. The first guy start getting way ahead of the second guy when he realizes the area is full of sharks.
As he looks back he sees a shark come up and bite his friends arm off. As he's turning around to get his friend his friend shouts " keep going. I can make it" so he keeps swimming.
Then a shark comes up and bites his friends other arm off. His friend again shouts out "keep going. I can make it".
Another shark pops up and bites his friends leg off. Again his friend yells out "keep going. I can make it".
Then the shark comes up and bites his other leg off. The first guy looks back and sees his friend floating unable to swin so turns around to get him. When he gets to his friend he pulls him onto his back and says "hold on" and begins the long swim to shore.
When they reach the island the first guy is exhausted and pulls them both onto to shore and says "wow I'm fucked". The second guy says " sorry, that was the only way I could hold on".
 
A man and a woman who had never met before, and who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:embarrassed:0 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a blanket? I'm awfully cold'.

'I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married'.

'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own fucking blanket.'


After a moment of silence, he farted.
 
What's the difference between a pit bull humping your leg and a chihuhua humping your leg?


You let the pit bull finish.
 
People that I see at work are often still telling jokes. The last one I heard:

An old lady walking through the park is supposed to meet her friend there. She sees her friend Ethel sitting on a bench. "Hi Ethel" she happily exclaimed, "did you come on the bus?".

Ethel answered "yes, but it's ok. I made it look like an asthma attack".
 
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I issued this last week after barely passing a required test at work:

What do you call the person who graduates medical school at the bottom of the class?

"Doctor"
 
USian Pie said:
I issued this last week after barely passing a required test at work:

What do you call the person who graduates medical school at the bottom of the class?

"Doctor"
Click to expand...
Also, 50% of practicing doctors finished in the lower 50% of their class.

Not a joke. Just a sobering thought and a valid reason to get a second opinion.
 
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