Question: So, imagine you died and went to hell..

Monson

Monson

Sonic Automatist
You're not exactly sure what happened. Possibly a freak accident in your love dungeon involving shoe polish and a table lighter, no wait, surely that couldn't have been you, but you get the point.

Anyway, at the gates of the Infernal Regions you are greeted by no other than the Angel of Darkness himself (must be a busy day). He's says He's sorry about that, but Heaven is currently out of order, so well, it is what it is.

"But here's the thing.." he continues "I got a bunch of vouchers from this New Age fellow, and today is your lucky number, so to speak!" Quickly He explains that you get to be reincarnated right now as any animal you like (there's a self-service checkout with drop-down menus), but only an existing animal, so nothing fictional or extinct. Take your time, when you accept the terms and conditions and hit the green Go button, you go.

Which would you pick and why?
 
I was going to say something cool like a snow leopard or Bengal tiger... but then I figured some wealthy ass hat who paid for a safari or some shit would pop in the head with a high powered rifle....


... So I'm going to say DOLPHIN.


Swim around with buddies, doing flips, mackin' on the female dolphins with my prehensile penis, and making tourists smile and take pics as I do flips in the wake of their jet ferry.


Right @Modern Saint ? :helper:
 
I think I'd be a dog and take my chances as to whether or not I get a good owner. Do we get to keep our consciousness?
 
baimun said:
I was going to say something cool like a snow leopard or Bengal tiger... but then I figured some wealthy ass hat who paid for a safari or some shit would pop in the head with a high powered rifle....


... So I'm going to say DOLPHIN.


Swim around with buddies, doing flips, mackin' on the female dolphins with my prehensile penis, and making tourists smile and take pics as I do flips in the wake of their jet ferry.


Right @Modern Saint ? :helper:
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What @baimun said!!! Plus the Daily Mail UK link below.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9038615/Moment-woman-unexpectedly-HUMPED-dolphin.html
 
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A Chicago rat so that I can come back and bite Peen simmons with bubonic plague....otherwise if that's not an option then a nice doggy!
 
Until I got Lola I'd have said something that could fly but now I'd take dog and hope I ended up with a sappy owner that spoiled me.

- designer doggy blankets
- foofy hand knitted scarves
- doggy day care
- doggy swimming pool
- fancy steaks now and again
- owners stop flying across the Atlantic for holidays and end up in little lodges near a beach within a 2 hour drive.
- buy a new house that needs a tonne of work but at least it has an awesome big garden compared to the last place.

I mean not that myself and Mrs JBJ have done that...

TBF even an old school owner that was a shit head but let me out to play, made sure I was fed and taken care of would be pretty sweet,
 
Ooh. A bald eagle would be pretty cool. Flying all over the place…. protected species…. And I would snatch stuff off of people’s BBQs, but then they’d see it’s a bald eagle and say “Hey!… oh wait… yeah… that’s fine”. :helper:
 
MonkeyZero said:
Do we get to keep our consciousness?
Click to expand...

That's a good question! I'm thinking it's like a clean slate so your human sense of being is gone as well as your memories, but on the other hand I guess most sentient beings have a sort of consciousness and experience what's going on. But then again there's often a flipside or some catch when doing deals with the Devil, so who can tell for sure.

On the topic of dolphins, I get the appeal of being an ocean dweller. Flying is fascinating, but it must be exhausting in the long run.
 
If it’s a matter of having one lifetime as an animal and then go back to being a human in the afterlife, then I’d probably choose to be a mayfly. I’m fucking tired, man.

If that’s not the case, though, then I’d almost certainly be a bull sperm whale. Long lives, no natural predators, and too large for captivity. They’re not social, but they’re the gentle giants of the sea!
 
Monson said:
That's a good question! I'm thinking it's like a clean slate so your human sense of being is gone as well as your memories, but on the other hand I guess most sentient beings have a sort of consciousness and experience what's going on. But then again there's often a flipside or some catch when doing deals with the Devil, so who can tell for sure.

On the topic of dolphins, I get the appeal of being an ocean dweller. Flying is fascinating, but it must be exhausting in the long run.
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Goose. And keeping my memories is a very import. I want to exact my revenge on the assholes I've had to deal with in this life, constantly bombarding them with goose crap.
 
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