Please read my screenplay before I submit it to Amazon Studios

[smurfco]

So there is this Amazon StoryWriter thing where you can write scripts. I wrote this one and I am going to submit it, but let me know what you think please? It is long but not too long.

It's called Stellar Cuts.

Thanks!

 

[dodgechargerfan]

I think the star wipe is overdone.

 

[smurfco]

Star wipe!

 

[Tiltsta]

Not bad, but if you want it on HBO it is going to need more sex.

 

[rickenvox]

ummm, why is everyone's speech so stilted and formal? Do normal people use the word "shall"? Even for an absurd film like The Lobster, the speech was more natural. Not sure what you're trying to convey by the unnatural language and unlikely conversations (don't most places of business have a sign with prices on the wall?).

 

[SnarkAttack]

It was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the doctor was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role. A puckish satire of contemporary mores. A droll spoof aimed more at the heart than the head.

 

[335clone]

tl;dr

are you using a nom de plume, or just posting someone elses work?

 

[dmn23]

Star wipe!

 

[smurfco]

tl;dr

are you using a nom de plume, or just posting someone elses work?

Nom de Plume. Chuck don't plagiarize.

 

[sonik]

Ceramic Duck really stole the show!

 

[sonik]

Call the number

 

[dmn23]

Call the number

Ha! I called it. That's almost as good as the commercial.

Kim's reaction in that scene is gold, just priceless.

 

[Chad]

Why was there no mention of duck food?

 

[Guitar Heel]

Why was there no mention of duck food?

or nails...

 

[335clone]

or bus sub-stations?

 

[Honkridge]

I will not read it.

 

[vonbladet]

I was left a little unclear about the haircuts and their prices and whether freebies can be arranged tbh. Perhaps you could clarify the store's policy, if any, on this?