IamSeaDevil
WTF? FTW!
You can make fun of Nickelback all you want but you make even more fun of Avril Lavigne
OK, I'm just going to say it...
- Thread starter micwalt
- Start date
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You can make fun of Nickelback all you want but you make even more fun of Avril Lavigne
Flamencology
You don't deserve koa.
I was diagnosed with a occipital-parietal glioma in May '08 following a seizure the previous month. I had multiple surgeries and several rounds of chemo and radiation subsequently, including a diagnosis of testicular cancer as well. I had a hard time with seizures for about 18 months and some cognitive side-effects from radiation, but I've been in remission for a little over a year now and things are looking as optimistic as they have in a long time. The only lingering issue is that I feel it aged my body by about 10-15 years, I don't have nearly as much energy as I did before, that kind of thing.
My oncologist half-jokingly assures me that I'll be out of the woods and able to relax if things go well for another 20 years or so.
cfgsteak
Kick Henry Jackassowski
I rarely agree with baimun, usually ignore his posts but dayum, post is spot on.
Not to mention that someday, no doubt, we will be forced to hear whatever their spawn comes up with.
rsadasiv
Burnin' Daylight
Can't be as bad as some of the posts in this thread ... I'm ready for the tuneless yowlings of some demon spawn ... be a nice change of pace.
David_
Facepalmist
Brain cancer is rough stuff. I'm glad your prognosis is positive. A friend of the family was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor a few years ago. I can't imagine being in your shoes or hers.
Hope you continue to get healthier each day.
Flamencology
You don't deserve koa.
Thanks, appreciated!
Tig
Fucktangular
Your position is understandable. Having to defend yourself from possible IRL attacks is a serious threat. You have stated your case clearly and we have listened, so I believe most of us can say that "we get it".
I think it is time to let it go now. Holding on to (non-physical) pain is no way to heal.
Case in point: In September of 1987 I woke up in the hospital after a car hit me. Two surgeries and many months of pain later, I came to a life changing revelation. I was a victim and was getting tired of it, so I decided to become a survivor. Rounding that corner changed everything. The PTSD eventually decreased and so did my defensiveness. I was able to let go of it. Previously, it owned me. (I'm not saying this compares to you specifically, but am using it as a reference)
As a cancer survivor times 2, you likely already know all about this. If you aren't past the first part, I hope you will soon turn whatever your "corner" is and move on. When we've been through serious personal or physical attacks, we will understandably defend ourselves. I can't really tell you to "get over it", but hopefully you'll understand my positive intentions here for both yourself and the other forumites.
All Things Must Pass
OGG
Master of the Meh
Since we are "Clearing the air", indulge me with a few moments of your time. I promise not be inflammatory.
First and foremost re: Matt's cancer, I made the assertion that Matt was not all he seemed to be, so the responsibility lies at my feet. However, despite the numerous emails and PM's from other forumites asking for specifics, at no time did I ever imply that his illness was anything but real. And, those who I was engaged with in those communications (you know who you are) should acknowledge that I cautioned against speculation on the matter. I further refused, and will continue to do so offering any specific personal information about anyone. My assertions are my own. Any further assertions made by others are done so at their own peril and in no way reflect my personal feelings on the matter. Because this accusation was born out of my own comments, I will take responsibility and apologize directly to Matt for the specific allegations leveled at him as a result. Going forward, what anyone posts on the matter is on them. I am disgusted by the sentiments expressed and have made that feeling known via PM.
As for "having someone investigated": I will not attempt to make excuses here, but I do feel a need to elaborate a bit. What I am about to post is in no way meant to excuse any behavior or action, instead, it is solely for the purpose of context. What most of you don't know about me, is that I take obsessive levels of precaution to guard my personal privacy. There are two key reasons for this:
1. It allows me to have, and maintain meaningful friendships with people. I learned the hard way almost 20 years ago while negotiating my first publishing contract that there are people out there just looking to be a part of something, people who are friends in name only. Simple as that, it's not an excuse, just a lesson learned by grief. I don't want to be considered paranoid, or cynical, but it is as they say... what it is.
2. Many many years ago when I was 13, my 22 year old sister was killed by a police officer. Not to get into too many details, but she was a hostage, the officer who killed her, was off duty at the time yet rushed into a situation he didn't understand. He was also found to have been on anti-psychotic meds at the time, and had been fired from a previous law enforcement job due to his "Psychological Instability". Unfortunately, the local PD did not perform a proper background check before hiring him that would have negated him from getting the job. Rather than take responsibility for their recklessness, the city and the PD tried to cover up the incident, even threatening the Medical Examiner if he didn't falsify his findings. The Medical Examiner refused, and sought protection from the Feds. After finding the officer not guilty of any negligence, my family was contacted by attorney Melvin Belli. My family filed a wrongful death suit against the city. Over the following five years, aside from dragging us through the mud, and prolonging a court date as long as they could, they drove my entire family out of town with constant harassment. Many local citizens were outraged that my family had the audacity to seek some form of justice, and made death threats, vandalized our home and worse. My mom and stepfather divorced, my remaining family splintered across the country. My mom became a shell, lost our family home and retreated into early onset Alzheimer's that eventually took her life. While it was reported that a settlement was reached, the terms of that settlement were sealed. Speculation was, that my family got rich off of it. The truth is, the settlement was quite small, the lions share went to my sisters husband. A huge amount went to lawyers, and finally, my mom got a pittance that didn't even come close to offsetting the financial losses suffered in the meantime. People continued to speculate, and to this day still make threats and wild claims. Mark and Tiltsta know this for fact. One of these nutballs tracked me down here, on this forum to spout their hate.
So yes, I have "issues" when it comes to privacy and justice. It is an unfortunate part of my life that I am cautious. I didn't have Magnum P.I. Staked out in front of anyone's house peering through binoculars at them, I simply asked a friend who has worked for me in the past to look into it. I doubt seriously that he ever left the comfort of his home office. The limited information I was provided with was enough for me to know that Matt is not a physical threat. Beyond that, I should have kept my internet mouth shut. I take full responsibility for that mistake, yet I will not discuss any of his personal privacy matters with anyone. Ever. You are all free to make your own judgements.
HCGJ was never a good fit for me. Once I made that realization, I moved over here and for four years had a great time that was drama free (with one MINOR exception that was quickly cleared up). Perhaps it's only coincidence that my purported "melt downs" began with the recent influx of HCGJ regulars, 99% of whom I have no problem with. There were several "us VS. them" threads that I stayed completely out of until one particular thread caught my ire. I went into that thread not to stir shit, but to ask if we really wanted to continue that tired debate, which Mark himself had asked several times for us ALL to avoid. Comments were made, I took exception to a post by Matt wherein I still contend, he slighted the bulk of MWGL forumites. It is MY opinion. I was attacked. Anyone who wants to go down that timeline can see for themselves who attacked whom and when. I could have handled it better, I could have used less provocative language leading up to it, but ultimately, I was the one being attacked. That's a fact.
I left the forum for nearly 2 months on my own to take a break. When I returned, I put Matt on my ignore list. Everything seemed to be going along nicely until the JJ schtick reared its head. Yes, there had been history between us. I suppose I could have put him on ignore as well, or just not engaged him. But, the fact is, I wasn't looking for trouble, I was stupid enough to play the game, thinking it was just harmless shits and giggles. After it all went sideways, and he and Mark had whatever conversation they had, JJ went back to HCGJ and threw a grenade at Andy and I. Why Andy? I had and still have no clue. Nevertheless, that was my breaking point for lack of a better word. I went over there and engaged him, my mistake. It just got uglier.
The fact is, JJ may be a great guy in real life, but on the internet he makes REAL statements about REAL people, some of whom, are my friends in REAL LIFE. If anyone wants to throw out allegations of unprofessional-ism, start with JJ. You can not claim to be a serious journalist when you slag your interviewees behind their backs. Whether there was malice behind it or not, it is not acceptable or professional. It was JJ himself who brought that tired old thread out of the cobwebs and onto page one at HCGJ. I guess the point was to make me look bad, as so many people had previously taken his side in the matter. So be it. Rather than simply take an iota of responsibility himself, he continued to pile on and encourage others to follow suit.
I didn't "Blacklist" anybody. I made my REAL LIFE friends aware of ONE journalist who appears to be unconcerned with professionalism. Doing so was MY professional responsibility and my responsibility as a friend. I made the offer to JJ to talk to me without all of the forum distractions to convince me that I was wrong. I offered to make a personal apology to him and send a retraction out to my friends. All he had to do was be an adult, have a real conversation and see if we could clear things up. Rather than doing so, he offered to give my personal cell phone number to anyone who wanted it and called me a psycho. Irony.
And that's where things still stand. I can get along with anybody. I don't have to like them, nor they me. If I can post here and not be a distraction, I would love to so. Despite my personal feelings about particular people, I acknowledge that their overall presence is good for the forum. There is a lot of very real and useful knowledge among such parties, and they do contribute much to the group. I like to think that I have some useful knowledge and input myself. I guess that's up to others to decide.
Regardless, I am done with this whole conflagration. I take responsibility for my wrongs, I offer my apologies to those affected, and ask forgiveness. That's all I can do.
First and foremost re: Matt's cancer, I made the assertion that Matt was not all he seemed to be, so the responsibility lies at my feet. However, despite the numerous emails and PM's from other forumites asking for specifics, at no time did I ever imply that his illness was anything but real. And, those who I was engaged with in those communications (you know who you are) should acknowledge that I cautioned against speculation on the matter. I further refused, and will continue to do so offering any specific personal information about anyone. My assertions are my own. Any further assertions made by others are done so at their own peril and in no way reflect my personal feelings on the matter. Because this accusation was born out of my own comments, I will take responsibility and apologize directly to Matt for the specific allegations leveled at him as a result. Going forward, what anyone posts on the matter is on them. I am disgusted by the sentiments expressed and have made that feeling known via PM.
As for "having someone investigated": I will not attempt to make excuses here, but I do feel a need to elaborate a bit. What I am about to post is in no way meant to excuse any behavior or action, instead, it is solely for the purpose of context. What most of you don't know about me, is that I take obsessive levels of precaution to guard my personal privacy. There are two key reasons for this:
1. It allows me to have, and maintain meaningful friendships with people. I learned the hard way almost 20 years ago while negotiating my first publishing contract that there are people out there just looking to be a part of something, people who are friends in name only. Simple as that, it's not an excuse, just a lesson learned by grief. I don't want to be considered paranoid, or cynical, but it is as they say... what it is.
2. Many many years ago when I was 13, my 22 year old sister was killed by a police officer. Not to get into too many details, but she was a hostage, the officer who killed her, was off duty at the time yet rushed into a situation he didn't understand. He was also found to have been on anti-psychotic meds at the time, and had been fired from a previous law enforcement job due to his "Psychological Instability". Unfortunately, the local PD did not perform a proper background check before hiring him that would have negated him from getting the job. Rather than take responsibility for their recklessness, the city and the PD tried to cover up the incident, even threatening the Medical Examiner if he didn't falsify his findings. The Medical Examiner refused, and sought protection from the Feds. After finding the officer not guilty of any negligence, my family was contacted by attorney Melvin Belli. My family filed a wrongful death suit against the city. Over the following five years, aside from dragging us through the mud, and prolonging a court date as long as they could, they drove my entire family out of town with constant harassment. Many local citizens were outraged that my family had the audacity to seek some form of justice, and made death threats, vandalized our home and worse. My mom and stepfather divorced, my remaining family splintered across the country. My mom became a shell, lost our family home and retreated into early onset Alzheimer's that eventually took her life. While it was reported that a settlement was reached, the terms of that settlement were sealed. Speculation was, that my family got rich off of it. The truth is, the settlement was quite small, the lions share went to my sisters husband. A huge amount went to lawyers, and finally, my mom got a pittance that didn't even come close to offsetting the financial losses suffered in the meantime. People continued to speculate, and to this day still make threats and wild claims. Mark and Tiltsta know this for fact. One of these nutballs tracked me down here, on this forum to spout their hate.
So yes, I have "issues" when it comes to privacy and justice. It is an unfortunate part of my life that I am cautious. I didn't have Magnum P.I. Staked out in front of anyone's house peering through binoculars at them, I simply asked a friend who has worked for me in the past to look into it. I doubt seriously that he ever left the comfort of his home office. The limited information I was provided with was enough for me to know that Matt is not a physical threat. Beyond that, I should have kept my internet mouth shut. I take full responsibility for that mistake, yet I will not discuss any of his personal privacy matters with anyone. Ever. You are all free to make your own judgements.
HCGJ was never a good fit for me. Once I made that realization, I moved over here and for four years had a great time that was drama free (with one MINOR exception that was quickly cleared up). Perhaps it's only coincidence that my purported "melt downs" began with the recent influx of HCGJ regulars, 99% of whom I have no problem with. There were several "us VS. them" threads that I stayed completely out of until one particular thread caught my ire. I went into that thread not to stir shit, but to ask if we really wanted to continue that tired debate, which Mark himself had asked several times for us ALL to avoid. Comments were made, I took exception to a post by Matt wherein I still contend, he slighted the bulk of MWGL forumites. It is MY opinion. I was attacked. Anyone who wants to go down that timeline can see for themselves who attacked whom and when. I could have handled it better, I could have used less provocative language leading up to it, but ultimately, I was the one being attacked. That's a fact.
I left the forum for nearly 2 months on my own to take a break. When I returned, I put Matt on my ignore list. Everything seemed to be going along nicely until the JJ schtick reared its head. Yes, there had been history between us. I suppose I could have put him on ignore as well, or just not engaged him. But, the fact is, I wasn't looking for trouble, I was stupid enough to play the game, thinking it was just harmless shits and giggles. After it all went sideways, and he and Mark had whatever conversation they had, JJ went back to HCGJ and threw a grenade at Andy and I. Why Andy? I had and still have no clue. Nevertheless, that was my breaking point for lack of a better word. I went over there and engaged him, my mistake. It just got uglier.
The fact is, JJ may be a great guy in real life, but on the internet he makes REAL statements about REAL people, some of whom, are my friends in REAL LIFE. If anyone wants to throw out allegations of unprofessional-ism, start with JJ. You can not claim to be a serious journalist when you slag your interviewees behind their backs. Whether there was malice behind it or not, it is not acceptable or professional. It was JJ himself who brought that tired old thread out of the cobwebs and onto page one at HCGJ. I guess the point was to make me look bad, as so many people had previously taken his side in the matter. So be it. Rather than simply take an iota of responsibility himself, he continued to pile on and encourage others to follow suit.
I didn't "Blacklist" anybody. I made my REAL LIFE friends aware of ONE journalist who appears to be unconcerned with professionalism. Doing so was MY professional responsibility and my responsibility as a friend. I made the offer to JJ to talk to me without all of the forum distractions to convince me that I was wrong. I offered to make a personal apology to him and send a retraction out to my friends. All he had to do was be an adult, have a real conversation and see if we could clear things up. Rather than doing so, he offered to give my personal cell phone number to anyone who wanted it and called me a psycho. Irony.
And that's where things still stand. I can get along with anybody. I don't have to like them, nor they me. If I can post here and not be a distraction, I would love to so. Despite my personal feelings about particular people, I acknowledge that their overall presence is good for the forum. There is a lot of very real and useful knowledge among such parties, and they do contribute much to the group. I like to think that I have some useful knowledge and input myself. I guess that's up to others to decide.
Regardless, I am done with this whole conflagration. I take responsibility for my wrongs, I offer my apologies to those affected, and ask forgiveness. That's all I can do.
Flamencology
You don't deserve koa.
I know that you never questioned my illness; I never put that on you, that's on baimun.
The rest of what you posted... I can forgive.
I honestly don't believe you know anything about me, because your posts clashed so bizarrely with my life, so this is kind of besides the point, but I'm curious about your logic, so I'd appreciate it if you could indulge me and hopefully then we could start fresh, because it seemed to me for a long time that you and I had come a long way -
1) I really don't understand what on earth I've ever posted to make anyone wonder why I'd ever be a physical threat; I'm the one who's gotten into trouble for being dismissive of people who carry handguns!
2) Why would you take offence (or, in your words, feel attacked) at my saying that I felt more comfortable posting details about my personal life at GJ, and felt more judged at MWGL... when you had (allegedly, evidently, and unbeknownst to me) already hired a private investigator to ascertain whether I was a physical threat, an act that would absolutely justify the kind of vibe that I'd been getting here?
Help me out, send me a PM, whatever.
Tig
Fucktangular
"If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye, can I go home?"
OGG
Master of the Meh
I will PM you shortly. Thank you.
A couple more brief things...
No, having trauma in your life doesn't excuse being an asshole. I've always been an asshole. Trauma just makes me a more twitchy/edgy/moody asshole.
While I was typing out my last long post, I missed a post wherein Flamencology quoted a partial PM from an unnamed moderator. I'm not putting this on Matt at all, so this is not in any way to cause a rift with him. But, I had to read it a few times to figure out WTF it meant. I don't know which moderator wrote it, but let me address what was written...
"Bozzo": I hate clowns. Call me an asshole, call me anything you like, but not that.
iOS devices: Hmmm, It's no secret I'm not an Apple guy. I've made that pretty clear. I even have made several snarky jokes about it. I have also however, gone on record as stating that it is the superior platform when questions are asked about its usefulness for certain applications. I wasn't aware that anything I ever posted about them would be considered some sort of melt down. I jokingly suggested giving the Mac folks their own sub-forum once when the first page was full of iOS threads, but seriously??
"Bolt-On Neck Guitars": This one I just don't get at all. I don't recall ever even offering an opinion one way or other on the subject. If I did, it was certainly an attempt at humor, but again, I have no recollection of such. Of all the guitar related things that cause internet arguments (Pick ups, wiring, Fender VS. Gibson etc...) this is one subject I have no strong feeling on in way. Most of my guitars are bolt necks. Some, are not. I honestly don't care which they are as long as I can play them and get the sound I want. Reference is needed here.
"My sister's Deli": Another head scratcher. That deli was a project that I was excited about. I put over $100,000 of my OWN money into it. Unfortunately, working with family just didn't work out. I don't remember melting down over it, or even posting a mildly moody thread about it. many folks were interested in the progress of the Deli and continued to ask about it. When my involvement in it ended, I made a brief response to let people know. I didn't offer specifics and I certainly didn't melt down.
I know I am reactionary at times but that whole post was ludicrous. I do go on "rants" a lot. It's not an internet schtick, it's exactly as I do in real life. However, my "rants" are typically tongue in cheek. in my head, I am ranting in the voice of Lewis Black or Dennis Leary... just as I do in real life to the amusement of friends and family. That clearly doesn't translate to the internet.
Whichever "Moderator" wrote that, I can only say that what was demonstrated in that message was anything but what I would expect from a mod. In fact, it's pretty shameful. Whomever it was, I'd like to hear from you. I'm not so much angry, as bewildered and confused. That was low. Really low. You clearly don't like me, but as a mod, communications like that are beneath the position. Why don't you PM me and discuss it?
Other than that, I have to apologize again to Mark. I was mortified to see this thread go down yesterday, on his birthday of all days. Because it was based in large part on my actions, I feel a sense of responsibility to him to apologize for the whole of it.
Flamencology
You don't deserve koa.
Kerouac
weird musical dildo
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