Bones McHorror
bones
My grandson has been informing me about the biggest trends for hipsters this winter. And he is basically a style icon. Having been to Fyre Festival and all, he now considers himself one of the top influencers in our neighborhood. So here it goes.
Oakley baseball sunglasses are big right now. Buy now buy big. The right pair is going to cost you 300 or 400 dollars but that is pocket change if you out there hustling the influence market.
You're gonna want this neatly trimmed pencil beard. Big beards are out, too cumbersome. Pencil beard stays under the neck and out of your way. So you can drink hipster drinks without embarrassing spills. Hipster drinks include mojitos and sunny delight.
Being old is in right now. Young is out. You gonna bleach your hair and style it like Ben Stein. Rub some glue on your face and let it dry so you look wrinkly as fuck. Tuck your chin in to get that waddle.
This shoe is in right now. From Milan to Paris to Ohio.
A big item this winter is buying pants that are way too big and then holding them like you lost a ton of weight recently. But now you wear it all the time because you don't give a fuck what the bourgeois do. No underwear necessary since you are avoiding all chafing this way. Also make sure to have this guy's grin on your face... it's the new attitude all of the hip kids have. Like you are eating a big bowl of shit.
Jackets. Charlotte Hornets' gear is big right now. None of their new shit, you want starter jacket 1992. colors are fly as hell,
You gonna have to beat up this guy to get it. He lives with a group of a dozen or so drifters somewhere up in the Appalachians. IS not really hard to find since he doesn't even blend into the scenery what with this jacket and all. This guy fit into hipster culture about a decade ago, but really this winter he doesn't even know how unstylish he looks anymore. Probably doesn't even have a very good instagram following.
Now was that so hard?
Oakley baseball sunglasses are big right now. Buy now buy big. The right pair is going to cost you 300 or 400 dollars but that is pocket change if you out there hustling the influence market.
You're gonna want this neatly trimmed pencil beard. Big beards are out, too cumbersome. Pencil beard stays under the neck and out of your way. So you can drink hipster drinks without embarrassing spills. Hipster drinks include mojitos and sunny delight.
Being old is in right now. Young is out. You gonna bleach your hair and style it like Ben Stein. Rub some glue on your face and let it dry so you look wrinkly as fuck. Tuck your chin in to get that waddle.
This shoe is in right now. From Milan to Paris to Ohio.
A big item this winter is buying pants that are way too big and then holding them like you lost a ton of weight recently. But now you wear it all the time because you don't give a fuck what the bourgeois do. No underwear necessary since you are avoiding all chafing this way. Also make sure to have this guy's grin on your face... it's the new attitude all of the hip kids have. Like you are eating a big bowl of shit.
Jackets. Charlotte Hornets' gear is big right now. None of their new shit, you want starter jacket 1992. colors are fly as hell,
You gonna have to beat up this guy to get it. He lives with a group of a dozen or so drifters somewhere up in the Appalachians. IS not really hard to find since he doesn't even blend into the scenery what with this jacket and all. This guy fit into hipster culture about a decade ago, but really this winter he doesn't even know how unstylish he looks anymore. Probably doesn't even have a very good instagram following.
Now was that so hard?
