I am just about ready to throw in the musical towel

[Dexter Inferno]

Wish I could help.

That said, what I would do is keep recording and releasing stuff just the two of you and hire professional guys when you need a full band, if you're doing gigs where that is feasible. I sort of do that over here. I have a small circle of musicians I trust to do a good job, and it does work.

 

[Psychotronic]

I feel your pain. We did a video shoot last night that was such a colossal clusterfuck I'm still reeling from it this morning.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't know their parts.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't know their gear.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't sing well enough.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't play well enough.
I'm fucking tired of being the only one who puts in the necessary time.
I'm fucking tired of having to know everyone else's shit so I can (gently and positively) nudge them in the right direction, over and over and over.
I'm just fucking tired.
Sorry to derail your thread, but I'm this close to quitting completely.

= most people

 

[reverend1]

That sucks. I've liked the tracks I've heard from you. And there's no shame in being mainly a recording project rather than a live act.

It is kind of weird how so many of us have reasonably modest opinions of our own abilities, yet when we try to form bands with people we think of as equally skilled we find that the y are and surprisingly untalented. Nearly every band I've tried to put together has been a failure because I am inevitably the only person with any ideas or depth of ability -- and I'm not even that good to begin with.

I’m struggling with a similar situation. I think I’m pretty shit, but I keep getting told what a great lead player I’m am. I don’t think I’m very good. I copy what others wrote. It’s not really that difficult. I’m a mediocre improviser at best. I really don’t know how to take the feed back I’m getting. I appreciate people being nice, but I don’t feel like it’s an honest evaluation of what I’m doing.

 

[Denverdave]

And here I am missing being in a band. I have not played out in over 18 months and it is killing me. I readily admit I am not a great guitar player, but I know the music I play and rehearse my parts. Generally I can honestly say I make the bands I am in better. But I do feel your pain. We had several songs i wanted to add to the last band, but everyone else (except the bass player) never rehearsed. They thought running through the song at rehearsal was enough....

 

[jbj]

I feel your pain. We did a video shoot last night that was such a colossal clusterfuck I'm still reeling from it this morning.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't know their parts.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't know their gear.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't sing well enough.
I'm fucking tired of people who don't play well enough.
I'm fucking tired of being the only one who puts in the necessary time.
I'm fucking tired of having to know everyone else's shit so I can (gently and positively) nudge them in the right direction, over and over and over.
I'm just fucking tired.
Sorry to derail your thread, but I'm this close to quitting completely.

I had the exact same internal monologue 7 or 8 years ago and it's pretty much why I gave up on bands and really ran with the DJing - I'm the only asshole I need to worry about.

 

[Chad]

They thought running through the song at rehearsal was enough....

That can work, if everyone in the band
is really good, has played together for a while and it’s a song everyone in the band has heard a million times.

But yeah, most of the time, that’s going to be a train wreck.

 

[mnewb1]

I am very far removed from your situation, I can’t offer any advice but I will offer mojo...10 years ago I had dreams of being in a band, but never had that kinda time ( or talent ) but I am very happy just recording now

 

[telecaster911]

I’d show you my musical towel but right now I’m wrapped up in it sobbing.

 

[Psychotronic]

Part of the problem is that the older you get, the less potential bandmates there are that are still playing. So, the talent pool becomes more of a talent puddle.

 

[Mark Wein]

Part of the problem is that the older you get, the less potential bandmates there are that are still playing. So, the talent pool becomes more of a talent puddle.

Correct. In my case, the guys that I normally play with are all also over-extended timewise so it is difficult getting things scheduled.

 

[rickenvox]

sometimes you have to go out and see live shows, then steal people from other bands.

 

[Bones McHorror]

I told Pat Metheny about this thread and he texted me back this selfie.

 

[OGG]

Hang in there Smurphy Brown. Don't settle for mediocrity, it's YOUR baby. If someone can't pull their weight, cut them loose. Personal feelings shouldn't act as a speedbump. It's a band, a business. Treat it as such. Bounce the slackers and keep auditioning guys until you find magic. Be patient but persistent. It will happen. Sorry I lagged on the vocal recording thing, that bout of NAMMTHRAX that started kicking my ass in January just WRECKED my voice completely. I'm still nowhere near back to any semblance of normalcy there. I keep trying to re-strengthen my vocal chords but only end up pissing them off further. I guess I just need to rest them and stop pushing.

And yo @micwalt! If a bald, 6'4" 280lb "Joe Elliot" would work aesthetically, I'm your Huckleberry.

-----

 

[surfsteve]

Man, I've never been in a band. Not sure I would have ever fit in. So, there..............Keep at it Smurfy! I'm a fan. You have talent.

 

[Jbird]

 

[rhino]

I perform as a solo act 95% of the time because I hate the hassle of being a band den mother.

You should work out a solo/duo arrangement that works and just do that. More good, fun shows/tunes done stripped down is better than less stuff done perfectly with needless stress.

This. Also, a much better way to meet other musicians than craigslist.

 

[smurfco]

Well it is done. I kicked the guy out. I feel like crap. He was a nice guy. But it wasn’t sounding good. Now the question is can we find anybody else. Should I go back to guitar. Or should we just say fuck it and be a recording band only.

There are few things I hate more than kicking someone out of a band. I have been the kickee a couple times and I know it sucks ass. But being the kicker isn’t much fun either unless you’re a sociopath

 

[335clone]

I say go back to guitar. While a GOOD bassist can be hard to find, more than one band has gotten by with a guy that can only find the 1. Work up from there.

 

[jelloman]

unless you’re a sociopath

 

[Help!I'maRock!]

Well it is done. I kicked the guy out. I feel like crap. He was a nice guy. But it wasn’t sounding good. Now the question is can we find anybody else. Should I go back to guitar. Or should we just say fuck it and be a recording band only.

There are few things I hate more than kicking someone out of a band. I have been the kickee a couple times and I know it sucks ass. But being the kicker isn’t much fun either unless you’re a sociopath

I think you should record your bass and keyboard parts and play live to them while you find other members. Then, when people can’t play the parts, you can still play gigs as a duo.