Question: Have you ever eaten a meal at Duchess? I'm here to tell you it's a bad idea and that it made me sick

smurfco

smurfco

Meatus McPrepuce
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First of all if any of my servers or waiters from Duchess are reading this I think your service was nice and I think you have a hard job and I appreciate the care you took, this is not about you. No this is about how I was running short on time and had to get lunch and I didn't have enough time to go to Valencia Luncheria across the street, so I decided to give Duchess a try.

Have you ever eaten at Duchess? I'm here to tell you it's a bad idea. I'm here to tell you that it made me sick. I'm here to tell you that it filled me up with bad, bad, bad, bad food. Don't ever eat at Duchess. The minute I walked in I should have turned around and left. I could smell that the kitchen was dirty. Like they never clean the grill. But I ate it anyway. Because I was running out of time. I thought maybe a cheeseburger would be safe, but now I feel like I'm gonna throw up!
 
I'm sorry Dr. Muchinski, I went against your diet plan. You said I had to cut back on my fatty meals but I left your office and where did I go? I went straight to Duchess and I ordered a burger and french fry meal. I know that is against your diet plan. But if it makes you feel any better it was very bad and now I feel sick. What was I thinking? As soon as I walked in I should have turned around and left. I knew that kitchen was filthy.

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Dr. Muchinski knows that I need to cut back on my intake of foods like these. He used the word "concerned" a lot after he got a real good look at my blood work. I'm sorry Dr. Muchinski, I really am trying to do better but I was short on time and didn't have enough of a lunch break to go to Valencia, where they serve steamed vegetables. Of course Duchess also serves healthier food than the cheeseburger I got. But I ignored your diet plan and got the cheeseburger instead of the other meal options. And now I feel sick. I feel like I am going to throw up because someone in that filthy kitchen reached into a tub of rancid ground beef with their greasy fat hand with dirty fingernails.

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I was getting a little concerned about your mental health as of late, but the new larger font offerings have set my mind at ease on that issue.

I am, naturally, concerned about your current food based illness and underlying dietary health. I would perhaps ask the waitstaff if they use clean brushes for sauce application as seen in the second picture. Wooden planks are also notoriously difficult to properly sanitize. The whole photoshoot seems like the "what not to do" part of a health department food safety video. I wonder if they just photoshopped the three good burgers they have produced since the inception of their firm into that first image, with the rest of what they serve being dangerously below par for the industry.

Anyway, some intense vomiting and a dozen or so profoundly loose stools and you should be back to normal and hopefully making wiser burger choices.
 
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I don't think we have duchesseses here. But if we did I would try it out because those burgers look tasty!

Actually right now all I want for dinner is a couple 'ritas. I'll order a cup of gumbo or something so I can call it a meal.
 
This is the drawback to eating in a fast food restaurant where nothing comes in frozen.
 
You fool. You giant colossal fool. You've made a powerful enemy today shooting off your big dumb mouth about the Duchess just for a few laughs. Hope it was worth it.

She does not forget. She does not forgive. The graveyard is chock full of two-bit pikers who thought they could get the better of the Duchess. They thought wrong. And now so have you.
 
I have a thing for regional fast food, but I have yet to experience Duchess
 
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