Zombie cockroaches

DdBob

Dogue in teh desert
so last night I walked into the kitchen and in the sink was a monster cockroach. I eased back and grabbed my trusty Enoz flyswatter
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the best flyswatter ever made. if you've only used cheap plastic ones you are in for a life changing experience with one of these bad boys, the power accuracy, speed and range with these is mind blowing.....

anyway I waited for him to make a move and he did like all cockroaches will do. I gave him a soft tap and he scurried to the floor (good because i didn't want roach guts on the counter) he lay there flat on his back on the floor. i get two papper towels and proceed to pickhim up and that's when he REANIMATES and crawls up my wrist. I well at the fucker and , shake mywrist and he falls to the floor. with one decisive stomp I splatter him on the kitchen floor with my CROCS
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FWIW I am very clean, always have been. I'm not some slob who lives in filth but in my part of town the roaches are abound. I have more than once seen dead ones in the middle of the street on early morning dog walks. I'm sure they spray the sewers but it is what it is. I've also witnessed a couple here and there in the backyard way out in the dirt, nothing around. So don't view me as a slob :embarrassed:

anyway have you guys ever had any encounters with ZOMBIE ROACHES > Any roach stories in general you'd like to share ?

...there was also the time i got out of the shower once and grabbed my tow and a flying monster roach kamakazied me in the chest :(
 
I lived in Florida. You don't need to tell me about cockroaches. Damned things own that whole state. I'm surprised they haven't formed some sort of union in order to charge the bipedal residents a usage fee. Fuckers.

Oh, and I LOVE the euphemisms used in order to obfuscate the fact that so many varities of them are in abundance. "Palmetto Bug"... yeah, right... kiss my ass motherfucker, that shit is a flying fucking giant ass cockroach from Hell. Those bastards would take that Gucci flyswatter of yours right out of your hand and fly away with it... laughing all the way home.
 
1) In Hawaii we have what are called B-52's. They are big and they fly. When I was a young boy, my father used to have a field day when everyone went to sleep. You would the slipper strikes and room sprayed with massive doses of Had-a-Bug.

2) My son and I would go to visit my mother yearly. He being only about 4 saw his first roach and asked what that was - I told him that it was fun. Armored with a slippers I would walk over to the roach running away and like the Stay Puff Modern Saint that I am crushed the roach to a nice splat. Success is always the sound of snap on the roach. Anyway my son saw how much fun that I had couldn't wait to try it. Needless to say that he was success with his first stomp. That led to a seek and stomp mentality. He was so bummed when none were present for stomping.

3) My teenage years of building 1/25 scale models had me with a can of paint in hand. Saw roach running and sprayed in silver. I guess I must've blinded it because it was running in circles until the god like slipper had the roach meet its maker.


 
I lived in Florida. You don't need to tell me about cockroaches. Damned things own that whole state. I'm surprised they haven't formed some sort of union in order to charge the bipedal residents a usage fee. Fuckers.

Oh, and I LOVE the euphemisms used in order to obfuscate the fact that so many varities of them are in abundance. "Palmetto Bug"... yeah, right... kiss my ass motherfucker, that shit is a flying fucking giant ass cockroach from Hell. Those bastards would take that Gucci flyswatter of yours right out of your hand and fly away with it... laughing all the way home.


why is it that we are so afraid of the darned things anyway? We are like 100 times their size....is it because they crawl around in poop all day and have outlived the dinosaurs :embarrassed:
 
why is it that we are so afraid of the darned things anyway? We are like 100 times their size....is it because they crawl around in poop all day and have outlived the dinosaurs :embarrassed:

The way I see it, if four billion years of evolution made me afraid of something that small, there must be a damned good reason.
 
Cock and Roach were the two favorite words of an old girlfriend of mine...

Always wanting one or the other........

I miss her sometimes............
 
Fuck a cockroach. I don't know what it is about them, but I am completely unglued if I see one. I have no problem with spiders, bees, wasps, moths... But if I see a cockroach I will run into another room and jump up on a piece of furniture. It is irrational but just the thought of them is enough to make me break out in a sweat… No kidding.
 
I lived in Florida. You don't need to tell me about cockroaches. Damned things own that whole state. I'm surprised they haven't formed some sort of union in order to charge the bipedal residents a usage fee. Fuckers.

Oh, and I LOVE the euphemisms used in order to obfuscate the fact that so many varities of them are in abundance. "Palmetto Bug"... yeah, right... kiss my ass motherfucker, that shit is a flying fucking giant ass cockroach from Hell. Those bastards would take that Gucci flyswatter of yours right out of your hand and fly away with it... laughing all the way home.
I grew up in Florida. This is all truth. It doesn't matter how clean you are, what you spray, or how you pray, they will find you.

As a child I awoke one night at my grandmother's house. I proceeded to the kitchen for a drink. Grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it with iced tea, drank, and felt something hit my lips. Yep, I had poured my delicious beverage atop a giant roach. Vomiting ensued. I've since stored all glassware top down in the cabinet.

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Fuck a cockroach. I don't know what it is about them, but I am completely unglued if I see one. I have no problem with spiders, bees, wasps, moths... But if I see a cockroach I will run into another room and jump up on a piece of furniture. It is irrational but just the thought of them is enough to make me break out in a sweat… No kidding.
Its because they crawl around in poop all day and then they come out at night and sneak up on, sometimes crawling toward you from the kitchen counter if yer lucky......if yer not so lucky they fly at you :cop:


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Its because they crawl around in poop all day and then they come out at night and sneak up on, sometimes crawling toward you from the kitchen counter if yer lucky......if yer not so lucky they fly at you :cop:


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Gaaaaaahhhhh
 
I grew up in Florida. This is all truth. It doesn't matter how clean you are, what you spray, or how you pray, they will find you.

As a child I awoke one night at my grandmother's house. I proceeded to the kitchen for a drink. Grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it with iced tea, drank, and felt something hit my lips. Yep, I had poured my delicious beverage atop a giant roach. Vomiting ensued. I've since stored all glassware top down in the cabinet.

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Lol


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My sister was an apartment manager and told me a story about this one apartment that they evicted a person out of. She said as soon as she opened the door, roaches fell from up above onto her hand and that was before she even stepped foot inside the place.

Once inside, she said that they were everywhere! Was so bad that there was a huge pile of dead roaches and roach poop behind the fridge, more of the same in the bathtub, and tons in the duct work.
 
I'm not sure we even have cockroaches here. If we do,I've never seen one in real life..

@smurfco..Re:jumping on furniture-I'm the same way with spiders. I've been known to strip down to my underwear when coming in contact with a web...
 
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