So researching this potential gig has been pretty hilarious and sad

smurfco

smurfco

Meatus McPrepuce
So a promoter sends me a message about a possible show at a club. I'll leave their name out for now but...

...I go to google and I type in the name of the club and it auto-completes with the word "stabbing".

Apparently someone got stabbed to death there in 2010. Two people, actually. One of them was a musician that was playing there.

But what's worse than that is their backline:


Backline: Any additional requests must be mentioned 1 week before the event date - we will try to help

  • 16 Channel pro-mixing console with 8 XLR and 4 1/4" inputs running into 2 powered speakers
  • 3 - microphones and 3 boom stands
  • 1 - 10” Hartke bass amp
  • 1 - Fender Frontman 38W Guitar practice amp
  • Piano - Upright Honky Tonk Piano - Manufacturer = "The Webster Piano Co. New York"
  • DRUMS: Available to use - Bass Drum, Lo-tom, Hi-tom, Snare, 2 Cymbal Stands, Snare Stand, Hat Stand, Bass Pedal, stool (We suggest that you bring bass pedal, cymbals and snare)
  • DVD projector (must test compatibility 1 day prior to your show)
Click to expand...

Honestly, the Fender Frontman 38 being their backline amp is more bothersome to me than the fact that someone got murdered there.

Then I read a little bit more and...

Cover Policy: You choose your cover charge and keep that + add $7 which gives your fans and guests a free drink ticket. At the end of the night you give the bartender $7 for each drink ticket they received from your guests.
Click to expand...

What? Why not just charge them $7 for the drink? Why make us play middleman?

But this is my favorite part - I googled one of the bands playing on the date we're looking at joining the bill for and found their most recent tune:



(Listen at least until the chorus)

:messedup:
 
I did manage to make it to the chorus of the song....barely. Super bad lyrics, horrible attempt at 'southern' singing. Bad EQ on the song. I would not play unless you come on before them because they will drive the listeners to the next club over. Or to stick ice picks in their ear drums.

But why on earth would you use and advertise a 'practice amp' as a performance amp? Maybe it is a trick. Any band that actually agrees to play through the Frontman and the Hartke are immediately asked to leave.
 
Help!I'maRock! said:
The bass player from The Portable Forest loves them. Seriously.
Click to expand...
Man, do I have stories. I'll just leave this tidbit that Gen started the show with (while wearing a ridiculously oversized strap on dildo):

"What's the matter, boys? Afraid of a hot little blond with a big black c*ck?"


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
Mark Wein said:
Man, do I have stories. I'll just leave this tidbit that Gen started the show with (while wearing a ridiculously oversized strap on dildo):

"What's the matter, boys? Afraid of a hot little blond with a big black c*ck?"


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Sounds about right.
 
smurfco said:
But this is my favorite part - I googled one of the bands playing on the date we're looking at joining the bill for and found their most recent tune:



(Listen at least until the chorus)

:messedup:
Click to expand...


Wow. That is so bad it belongs at a Trump rally.
 
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