Our relationship really sucks

I will tell anybody who listens that we discovered the secret to a happy marriage years ago (I'm in my 38th year of marriage): Low expectations. There's nothing that puts more stress on a relationship than having to plan some insanely massive event where you obsess over every detail. Our wedding was at a park and our reception (IIRC, for about 35) was at the UW student union. Anybody spending mega-bucks on a wedding is just begging for problems...
 
Oh, and I sold my Fender 72 Custom Telecaster (must've been a 74-76 production) to finance the wedding reception, so it damn well had better have worked out!!! :ack:
 
I have a theory about weddings and marriage. The bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage.

My wedding was small, and only family and close friends attended the reception, and we're about to hit 20 years this November.

But the real secret to a happy marriage is to be willing to compromise, apologize often, and make your spouse feel loved.
 
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Tell them to throw the reception for the homeless and give up the engagement. If they are unhappy now, it will be far worse, and harder to undo, if they marry.
 
I only know of one couple I've DJ'd at their wedding that have split (I think they lasted about 7 months!) but with the amount I've done, there's got to be scored split up or due to in the future :eek:

One thing that really annoyed me in the run up to our wedding there was people going - You've been together HOW LONG? Thats terrible it took you that long to propose.

Yeah because being absolutely certain that we can get along for many many before throwing your hat, finances and mental health into the ring with somene for life is a bad idea :grin:
 
My wedding was in the back of an East Village Cuban/Italian restaurant and mojito bar. All we did was pick the dinner dishes and get the cakes from Milk Bar.
 
USian Pie said:
I suspect counselors look at marriage the same way orthopedic surgeons look at skateboards.
Click to expand...
TomcatMF said:
But the real secret to a happy marriage is to be willing to compromise, apologize often, and make your spouse feel loved.
Click to expand...

For someone on his third marriage, I am amazingly not jaded. Good relationships, as Tomcat stated so well, depend on communication and compromise with a healthy dose of respect. My two recent cases lack this on the part of one (or both) partners. If you are not willing to compromise before the vows, a few "magic words" at a ceremony will not fix things. :rolleyes:

This July 31 will make 24 years that Carol and I are together; our 11th wedding anniversary was this past March 31. We made it because we are both willing to do the work.
 
i've always said that we (at least in this country) have it backwards.

it should cost $20,000 to get married and 50 cents to get divorced.
there.....fixed.
 
TomcatMF said:
I have a theory about weddings and marriage. The bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage.

My wedding was small, and only family and close friends attended the reception, and we're about to hit 20 years this November.

But the real secret to a happy marriage is to be willing to compromise, apologize often, and make your spouse feel loved.
Click to expand...

I have a theory that the more you bang on about your bf / gf / hubby / wife / life / etc... on facebook, the worse things actually are.

Most of my friends keep their shit private but I can think of a few who are all over it with: "#MYWORLD" type shit:

Couple 1 did it so often that Jill and I sussed out they were getting divorced because all of a sudden their Sunday morning breakfast in bed selfies disappeared.

Couple 2 were all " LOOK LOOK LOOK WE'RE ENGAGED / WE'RE ON HOLIDAY / WE'RE HAVING COCKTAILS!!!" and then fell off the radar too - turns out he'd smacked her around and ended up in jail. They're back together now :rolleyes: but much quieter on social media.

Couple 3 are still together and have a kid on the way. It's a guy I grew up with and I genuinely have a lot of love for him but she's mother 3 to kid number 3 and while he is a good dad to his kids - there's a reason these women keep ditching him after a while...
 
TomcatMF said:
But the real secret to a happy marriage is to be willing to compromise, apologize often, and make your spouse feel loved.
Click to expand...

^ This times eleventy.
Plus, don't expect it to be a 50-50 relationship. It takes a 100-100 effort to get through the rough stuff sometimes.
 
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