jrockbridge
Stealing Your Riffs
She was 92 years old. She raised 8 children, 2 by my Dad's previous marriage, and 6 of her own, of which I am 1. I feel a mixture of sadness and relief that she no longer has to suffer. For about a year, it's been like watching her fade away in slow motion, while her mental decline accelerated.
My Dad passed away 40 years ago while I was in college. My Mom was alone for a long time. Then, she met an old high school boyfriend at a reunion. They got married and kept each other company. I was happy for them. In some ways, he was like a second father to me. He made me laugh with his grumpy old man attitude.
They both got very old and needed help in later life. They moved from Arizona to a senior living apartment in Colorado, near my brother and 2 sisters. I was an hour drive away. I made many trips up to visit.
After my Mom turned 91, she found out she had advanced kidney disease, which lead to accelerated mental decline. She often expressed that she was ready to die. She changed her medical intervention wishes to do-not-resuscitate. The doctor said she had days, weeks, a few months at most. Yet, her body kept hanging on for nearly a year.
She was doing in-home hospice with Visiting Angles during the week. They had a chef coming in to cook meals. Her husband was sharp and seemed to be in pretty good health considering his age (92) but he was legally blind. I felt bad for him because my Mom was the person who used to take care of him and then she declined to a point that she no longer could. Then, December last year, he went into the hospital with a UTI and died within days at age 92. I think he was fortunate that the end came so quick.
My Mom seemed to take her husband's death in stride. But, she cancelled the chef and cut back on the Visiting Angels. She became less talkative over months. I'd drive an hour to visit and she'd kick me out after 15 minutes. It got to a point where I could barely understand her over the phone.
A couple of weeks ago, after my 2 sisters and brother had a long visit with her, she told one of them that she didn't want to be alone. They had to scramble to put her into a nursing home for 5 days while they could ramp up home nurses for 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week at her apartment. She returned home, mostly non-verbal. The nurses would be there from 8am to 8pm, and one of my sister's would stay with her 8pm to 8am. She would wake up in the middle of the night, non-verbal, pacing around, as if there was something that she needed to do.
The nurses kept her comfortable with morphine during her last week. She mostly slept. I spoke in her ear, saying goodbye to her as she lay in bed asleep a day before she passed. She opened her eyes slightly, moved her lips as if to speak, and then settled back to sleep.
She was a great Mom and a control freak. The perfect personality type to keep 8 kids in line. She loved and was loved.
R.I.P.
My Dad passed away 40 years ago while I was in college. My Mom was alone for a long time. Then, she met an old high school boyfriend at a reunion. They got married and kept each other company. I was happy for them. In some ways, he was like a second father to me. He made me laugh with his grumpy old man attitude.
They both got very old and needed help in later life. They moved from Arizona to a senior living apartment in Colorado, near my brother and 2 sisters. I was an hour drive away. I made many trips up to visit.
After my Mom turned 91, she found out she had advanced kidney disease, which lead to accelerated mental decline. She often expressed that she was ready to die. She changed her medical intervention wishes to do-not-resuscitate. The doctor said she had days, weeks, a few months at most. Yet, her body kept hanging on for nearly a year.
She was doing in-home hospice with Visiting Angles during the week. They had a chef coming in to cook meals. Her husband was sharp and seemed to be in pretty good health considering his age (92) but he was legally blind. I felt bad for him because my Mom was the person who used to take care of him and then she declined to a point that she no longer could. Then, December last year, he went into the hospital with a UTI and died within days at age 92. I think he was fortunate that the end came so quick.
My Mom seemed to take her husband's death in stride. But, she cancelled the chef and cut back on the Visiting Angels. She became less talkative over months. I'd drive an hour to visit and she'd kick me out after 15 minutes. It got to a point where I could barely understand her over the phone.
A couple of weeks ago, after my 2 sisters and brother had a long visit with her, she told one of them that she didn't want to be alone. They had to scramble to put her into a nursing home for 5 days while they could ramp up home nurses for 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week at her apartment. She returned home, mostly non-verbal. The nurses would be there from 8am to 8pm, and one of my sister's would stay with her 8pm to 8am. She would wake up in the middle of the night, non-verbal, pacing around, as if there was something that she needed to do.
The nurses kept her comfortable with morphine during her last week. She mostly slept. I spoke in her ear, saying goodbye to her as she lay in bed asleep a day before she passed. She opened her eyes slightly, moved her lips as if to speak, and then settled back to sleep.
She was a great Mom and a control freak. The perfect personality type to keep 8 kids in line. She loved and was loved.
R.I.P.
