More Craigslist lulz

telecaster911

Kick Henry Jackassowski
From Daytona Beach's Craigslist. Hehe.


1982 Jeep Scrambler. If you are looking for a short description of the beast pictured here, I can offer you two words "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All American chariot of the free world.

This is no ordinary cookie cutter Jeep. This thing was forged from a single block of Tungsten Steel. I wasn't looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover, this beast is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.

This baby's pulse is pumping uncensored raw fuel through her 4.2 liter straight six nuclear power plant. This is no metro feminine automatic, it has a 5 speed manual shift and no AC. If you want to blow the sweat off your brow you do it the old fashioned way: doors off and top down.

"What if it rains?" I don't care about rain, not even skin melting acid rain. This isn't the kind of Jeep that has to be parked in the garage, so the "carpet doesn't get wet and soggy" This thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lining to let the blood drain out from the buffalo I just killed with my bare hands. This is a ride suited for William Wallace and when it gets dirty, you can leave your "sissy sponge glove car wash kit" in the pink bucket it came in. If need be, I'll spark up a 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer from my man cave, cause I can pressure wash this truck on the inside or outside. She's even got roll cage in case that buffalo comes back to life while I'm doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river.

And forget about putting one of those "It's a Jeep Thing. . .You wouldn't understand" stickers on this machine cause when I'm spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of my way. . . . .real quick.

So get ready for some changes, cause this will be happening. What will be happening? Glad you asked. . ..

1. More chest hair.
2. Grow a beard.
3. Meat only diet.
4. T-Rex for an indoor pet.
5. Fianlly taking a job at the lumber mill.
6. A Jeep that carries five kegs.
8. Catch more fish.
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. All male offspring.
11. Chiseled jaw line.
12. Not giving a damn.
13. Counting to infinity
14. Chuck Norris.
15. Building stuff out of stone, with your bare hands.
16. Riding a grizzly bear through a car wash
17. Bar fights.
18. Ron Burgandy pool party

And that's gonna be on a slow Tuesday.

Other particulars: 35 inch tires, lifted really damn high, brand new full soft top, original half soft top, original soft doors, original seats in great shape, a little rust in the floor board (see pic), mechanically sound and I'll be happy to talk to you about the things I planned to do this spring on it. Economy took it's toll, lost my job 4 months ago and haven't found anything yet, my loss is your gain.
 
A little rust...translation: This POS is holding on to life by its last fingernail and if I don't dump it into some unsuspecting loser soon, I'll be on the hook for the tow truck ride to the junkyard.
 
He spelled Burgundy wrong, and apparently, his mighty Jeep can do anything except find him a jobbie job.

Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk
 
He spelled Burgundy wrong, and apparently, his mighty Jeep can do anything except find him a jobbie job.

Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk

Maybe if he didn't waste his time installing 35" wheels on his Jeep...
 
It actually sounds like the kind of Jeep I'd want... except I'm not a big fan of Scramblers.
 
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