May Songwriting Reveal!

Peen Simmons

Peen Simmons

Let’s Get Obtuse!
It's finally time! May Songwriting Reveal Day is here. Thanks to everyone who participated. We have some real rad stuff this month.

As always, more people should participate. More songs = more fun!

Anyway, here's tonight's lucky ladies...

mnewb1 in "Care Before Right"



rsadasiv vs. "Walls and Bridges"



Gary Blanchard is "Living the Dream"



Peen Simmons presents the "Ballad of DEEZ NUTS" or...

"Snark Forest"



"I Know and They Know (Eric's Trip?)"



"Notorious Showbiz Parents"

 
Rsadasiv: definitely Rad!...What is the internet version of snapping ones fingers in approval after the performance? Totally Beat, with funk!:hesh:

Gary Blanchard: in a category by himself, in age brackets and songwriting!...Diggin it, and I do need to start thinking about video production

DEEZ NUTS:
Snark Forest: excellent song...it's like Robert Smith and the Cure doing Unplugged on MTV circa 1990
I Know and They Know: Excellent song, I really need to start working on lyrics more...mine are more a last minute throw off...
Notorious Showbiz Parents: Three run inning!...This is the best one, it has an REM vibe in the vocals and I think the guitar has the best tone, more full and resonant
 
Great stuff, as usual.

mnewb1 - That was very cool instrumentation, and the vocals suited the song perfectly.

rsadasiv - This was very trippy yet hip. (And maybe hop.) The guitar work was very cool as well.

Peen Simmons - I think mnewb1 said what I was thinking better than I could. I especially agree about the guitar tone on Notorious Showbiz Parents.
 
Mnewb...you always get a lot of great sounds. This song has a strong melodic sensibility. Very cool. Dig the solos too. I like the unconventional structure/abrupt ending.

GB...another incredibly well put together song. I think you might be an interdimensional being made of hundreds of these songs.

Rsadasiv descends into jazz hell for a pint of Yoo-hoo . I actually like how this one is put together. Some nice textures. Total jive, however.
 
@Peen Simmons
I'd rank these songs roughly in the order listed. As demos they get the riff, chord progression and melody across. The actual lyrics aren't really clear - I do get the impression of alienated teens confronting spaceships as they skulk around the mall but you might want to mix the vocals a little higher and E*N*U*N*C*I*A*T*E.

@Gary Blanchard (and @sonik )
It feels like I say this every month but this is my favorite song of yours yet. Lyrics are well crafted and interesting to hear it with a mainstream rock band arrangement. The lip (un)synched video is surreal - adding some fast motion Monkees/Hard Day's Night style running interludes and vintage Summer of Love footage would kick the surreal up another notch if that's what you are going for.

@mnewb1
Dig the opening synth sounds (and the beating pads throughout). The bass sounds ok but feels a little draggy - especially coming in cold after the Calvin Harris-ish opening. As noted above, guitar solo is good - Gilmour style vibe in the note choice, phrasing and tone. Synth solo is fine but not strictly necessary. Abrupt ending works for me. Lyrics are throwaway but don't get in the way. Overall well put together, interesting, good song.
 
[USER=567 said:
@mnewb1 Dig the opening synth sounds (and the beating pads throughout). The bass sounds ok but feels a little draggy - especially coming in cold after the Calvin Harris-ish opening. As noted above, guitar solo is good - Gilmour style vibe in the note choice, phrasing and tone. Synth solo is fine but not strictly necessary. Abrupt ending works for me. Lyrics are throwaway but don't get in the way. Overall well put together, interesting, good song.
Click to expand...

I really appreciate the constructive feedback!
 
I am really envious of you guys. All 4 of you have unique and interesting voices that add a lot to your songs.

@mnewb1 I love the intro, the drums, and the synth solo. The bass sounded like it was dragging behind the beat when the vocals kicked in. I like the vocal melody and the break before the guitar solo. Good guitar tone, too. It really fits the song.

@rsadasiv What a great groove! The drums sound killer. Are they from a James Brown tune? And the echoey guitar riffs are a really nice touch. This would make a great theme song for a bad ass TV show. I like the timbre of your voice, too.

@Gary Blanchard I like this tune. The melodies and instrumentation are nice. I love the background effects on the video, but the out-of-sync video and audio were pretty distracting. All in all, I think it's a good recording of a good song that fits nicely along with the other material you have been producing.

@Peen Simmons
You make this stuff seem so effortless. The guitar sounds good - it's very clear, almost too clear and present, and it dominates the track above the vocals. It sounds like a one mic, one take recordings, correct? I like how you use these chord riffs in your verses. Then your vocal melodies complement them beautifully. It's a good recipe for earworms.
 
jaxn slim said:
@Gary Blanchard I like this tune. The melodies and instrumentation are nice. I love the background effects on the video, but the out-of-sync video and audio were pretty distracting. All in all, I think it's a good recording of a good song that fits nicely along with the other material you have been producing.
Click to expand...
Here is a new video:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top