WTF: Looks like we are attending a shotgun wedding

[tiger roach]

Tell me this isn't completely messed up:

Last night Mrs. Roach appears with an ominous-looking document in her hands, which turns out to be a wedding invitation.

Her: We are going to a wedding Saturday.

Me: What Saturday?

Her: This Saturday. The 7th.

Me: The hell. Who the **** sends out wedding invitations less than a week before the wedding?

Her: It's the family of one of my students (this is the explanation for a lot of weirdness in my life).
Her: This girl had a baby at 15.

Me: Wait wait wait. It is a wedding for a 15-year-old girl?

Her: Well, she's 16 now.

Me:

Dafuck? Is that even legal? How am I supposed to act at this, happy? Worried? Appalled? What if one of them, you know, tries to escape or something?

 

[jelloman]

I've been to a few of those (old family tradition)...they're never fun...

 

[Kerouac]

'MURRICA!

 

[jelloman]

What if one of them, you know, tries to escape or something?

That's what the shotguns are for, dummy...

 

[Gorgon90]

Should we ask how old the groom is?

 

[tiger roach]

Should we ask how old the groom is?

I'm afraid to. There is no acceptable answer.

But since he is evidently not in jail, I assume within two years of 16.

 

[Mark Wein]

 

[shoeless]

What do you get a 16 yr old bride for a wedding gift? Something from Justice? ...or maybe a One Direction iPhone case...

 

[Kerouac]

I'm afraid to. There is no acceptable answer.

But since he is evidently not in jail, I assume within two years of 16.

It seems to me that the sort of folks that approve of a shotgun wedding wouldn't really care about the age.

 

[tiger roach]

What do you get a 16 yr old bride for a wedding gift? Something from Justice? ...or maybe a One Direction iPhone case...

The invite says the couple is registered at Toys R Us.

:rim:

 

[Chad]

Why do people think because a baby is born that the parents need to get married? 16 is far too young to be an effective parent or a spouse. I hope the baby has some real adults looking out for him/her.

 

[tiger roach]

Why do people think because a baby is born that the parents need to get married? 16 is far too young to be an effective parent or a spouse. I hope the baby has some real adults looking out for him/her.

Without going into specifics, religion seems to be a big motivator in this case (and probably lots of other similar cases).

 

[shoeless]

Without going into specifics, religion seems to be a big motivator in this case (and probably lots of other similar cases).

Yeah, probably true. I can almost picture the father of the bride saying, "There's no way my 16 year old daughter is going to have a bastard child". Hard to see those trees in the middle of the forest.

 

[IamSeaDevil]

These marriages never work, the bible may say one thing, but you have got to be practical about this because a child's life is on the line.
My parents were 17 when I was born and they were married a year before the whole thing was over.
No way in hell you'd get me to attend that bullshit

 

[Denverdave]

Sixteen is legal if the parents sign the proper forms.

 

[smurfco]

and a stain on your shirt?
don't believe everything that you breathe, you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve!

 

[Tig]

How close to Atascocita/Humble do they live?

 

[GilmourD]

I've been to a few of those (old family tradition)...they're never fun...

Not originally from Jersey? Or are you THAT far in the Pine Barrens?

 

[Dexter Inferno]

Is the groom called Cletus?

 

[GilmourD]

Why do people think because a baby is born that the parents need to get married? 16 is far too young to be an effective parent or a spouse. I hope the baby has some real adults looking out for him/her.

Sometimes I think the only reason my parents actually got married was because my mom was pregnant with my younger brother. Oddly, I don't have any pictures of 3-year-old me in a little suit, but I know I attended their wedding.

That said, they're still married.