June Songwriting Thread REVEAL!!!!

Peen Simmons

Let’s Get Obtuse!
Holiday weekend premature postification...

Sir Gary Blanchard in "The Quest"



"I Need You to Remind Me" starring jaxn slim



mnewb1 faces the spine-tingling thrills of "Slide into Water"



And Peen Simmons meets the Son of the Bride of "Vampire Mile Revisited"

 
Jaxn Slim - That had a 60s feel to it with touches of Chicago (at their best) and some of the guitar heroes of the time. There were some really neat chord changes.

mnewb1 - The instrumentation took me right to the 80s (my second favorite musical era) and the one early "ahh" vocal reminded me of John Lennon. The main vocal was perfect for the feel of the song.

Peen Simmons - The chord progression was very nice, and some of the rhymes just blew me away. Your vocal always makes me expect to hear more of an electric guitar sound, yet the song works so well on acoustic.

As usual, a nice showing from my fellow Weiners!
 
Gary: the accordion accompaniment adds greatly to a a well rounded sweet song, very good entry for the month

Jaxn: fantastic tone on the guitar, great interplay between the guitar and brass, engaging chord changes, nice instrumental piece, it works well as a standalone song or I can even see this as a soundtrack piece.

Peen: dig the riff in this one, lyrics are good and you have a unique voice which is its own instrument in this song...another great entry.
 
Gary: the accordion accompaniment adds greatly to a a well rounded sweet song, very good entry for the month
That was me on the keyboard; I am going into the studio with John to have him add "real" accordion to it and then have Sonik mix it.
 
Jax--this is out of what I think of as your wheelhouse, but you're really pulling it off. You're embracing the phoniness of the synth horn in a way that works, too.

Newb-- I think i say this every time, but your bass synth sounds fantastic. There's a lot of far-flung sounds in this one that all gel.
 
Gary - Your acoustic guitar tone is really interesting in this one. I like it a lot. It sounds kind of like a harpsichord to me. The accordion is a great touch. Nicely done.

mnewb1 - I like the groove you get with the drums and various synth tracks. The vocal stuff is pretty out there (in a good way). I think it's my favorite of yours so far.

Peen Simmons - I'm a bit biased because I love driving production on a tune and get bored quickly with singer/acoustic guitar arrangements, but I am hearing a really cool pocket here for some drums and bass. You could do a lot with this one IMO. The hook is just catchy enough.
 
GB -- like Senor Pollo, I thought this was a clever repurposing of "Be Thou..." Nicely structured and well-arranged. I do think that "rest/refreshed" would be a better first rhyme. At least that's what my brain kept rewriting it as.

JS -- Excellent playing and use of sounds. Very lyrical, which works well for the Beatley melodic line. Very solid composition.

M -- A very cool arrangement. Neat use of sounds. That treated recurring vocal hook is nifty. And another rad solo...nice use of "hot" vs. "cold" textures. This reminds me a bit of some alternat universe version of that band Phoenix.
 
I do think that "rest/refreshed" would be a better first rhyme. At least that's what my brain kept rewriting it as.
I really wanted to play with that time-worn idea of being blessed at the river especially since I was once baptized in a river.

I had someone suggest I rewrite the song Carousel and use Merry-Go-Round instead. I didn't make that change, either. :grin:
 
Jax--this is out of what I think of as your wheelhouse, but you're really pulling it off. You're embracing the phoniness of the synth horn in a way that works, too.

Newb-- I think i say this every time, but your bass synth sounds fantastic. There's a lot of far-flung sounds in this one that all gel.
Thanks, Chicken Man. What do you think of as being in my wheelhouse? I only ask because I often feel like I'm lacking direction, and sometimes I want to play more to my strengths.
 
I really wanted to play with that time-worn idea of being blessed at the river especially since I was once baptized in a river.

I had someone suggest I rewrite the song Carousel and use Merry-Go-Round instead. I didn't make that change, either. :grin:

I'm talking about phonemes, man. Just a more forceful sound. Plus the accent may fit the meter of the lyric an eensy bit better.

Merry go round seems like an awkward phrase to build a song around.
 
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Thanks, Chicken Man. What do you think of as being in my wheelhouse? I only ask because I often feel like I'm lacking direction, and sometimes I want to play more to my strengths.
In my head, you are throaty Les Paul with a bluesy feel, but not "bloozy". Maybe modern day Mick Taylor.
 
In my head, you are throaty Les Paul with a bluesy feel, but not "bloozy". Maybe modern day Mick Taylor.
Yeah, since I got my tele a few months ago, I barely touch humbuckers any more. You're right, though. The LP was my sound for a long time. Perhaps when my LP-ish McFeely comes in, I'll go back to it.
 
@Gary Blanchard love the accordion. This one has the feel of a misty morning with a melancholy decision to be made. You've always had a gift for melody but the last few things I've heard from you have been notably strong.

@jaxn slim this is neat! Love the horns. There are a bunch of influences colliding in here. Some of the guitar work reminds me of Graham Coxon, the guy from Blur. Especially when there's interplay with the horns.

@mnewb1 nice sound selections. I especially like the bass. This kind of reminds me of Daft Punk meets Phoenix (a good thing!) The guitar solo rips too - great tone. What are you using?

@Peen Simmons that's a really cool chord progression - I like the way it slides around between all the chords. Would love to hear a fully fleshed out version of this tune.

Overall observation - a surprising set of songs. It speaks volumes about the talent here that we have such a diverse set of songs.
 
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