Jello's Taxi tales...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jelloman, Jun 9, 2011.

    Jun 9, 2011
  1. jelloman couch'd tater...

    This Week's Episode:

    Horse-Face-Plant

    When things get slow, sometimes I find a nice shady spot to park and wait for my next call. Today I was parked by the 2nd Baptist Church, over by the bowling alley and Garcia's LatinAmerican Market...

    I was just getting into my new Sports Illustrated when I hear and odd clatter from over by the bowling alley...I look up and see a riderless bicycle on the ground...it was riderless because the guy riding it was lying face down in the parking lot...

    get up...c'mon man, get up...

    Nope...he gets to his knees, crawls a few feet and falls again...

    shit...

    I grabbed my cel phone and dialed up the city police...

    "yeah, send an officer and an ambulance to the bowling alley, some guy just passed out on the ground..."

    I drive over to him and get out...the guy is soaked with sweat, hid face id a bloody mess...there's gravel stuck to his face...and he's shaking...and when I say "shaking" I mean like I've never seen anyone shake before...

    "stay down man...I got an ambulance coming..."

    ...totally unresponsive...vacant stare...totally disconnected from reality...oh good the cop's here...

    "is an ambulance coming?"

    "Calm down dude"

    calm down? fuck, this guys gonna die of heatstroke right in front of me...

    the nice police officer proceeds to try and interview the guy...rather unsuccessfully, I must say...ambulance is here...

    "what are you on?"

    "...heroin..."

    HEROIN? HEROIN! you stupid FUCK it's 100 degrees out here and you riding a bike OD'd on HEROIN?!?

    The ambulance crew loads the junkie asshole up, the nice friendly police officer gets in his car and they all drive away...

    HEY! what about me? can I go now?

    YOU'RE WELCOME!

    nothing...I'm not looking for a citizen's award or anything but at least a "thanks, you can go sir, we got this" would have been nice, ya know?
  2. Jun 9, 2011
  3. OGG Master of the Meh

    If you wanna ride, don't ride the white bike?

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2013
  4. Jun 9, 2011
  5. Mrs.P The Wonder Wench

    Ah the joys of the good samaritan.
  6. Jun 9, 2011
  7. Mark Wein :mad:

    Silly Jello interrupting a Donut break.
  8. Jun 9, 2011
  9. paulskirocks Blue Zone Compliant

    I would have just taken his bike...
  10. Jun 9, 2011
  11. Tralfaz Drawing a Blank

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2013
  12. Jun 9, 2011
  13. Denverdave Resident Ragamuffin

    Your right - a thank you would have been nice. Unfortunately they don't think about that stuff often enough. Congrats on doing the right thing....
  14. Jun 9, 2011
  15. Elias Graves Way cooler than I let on

    You did the right thing, jello.
    The cop was thinking "Damn,we were THAT close to getting rid of a junkie."

    EG
  16. Jun 9, 2011
  17. jelloman couch'd tater...

    you work with Bjork?:eek:
  18. Jun 9, 2011
  19. Mrs.P The Wonder Wench

    :D
  20. Jun 9, 2011
  21. Denverdave Resident Ragamuffin

    I wish.......:love:
  22. Jun 9, 2011
  23. marc758 stardog champion

    Atta-boy.

    Feel better?
  24. Jun 9, 2011
  25. Elias Graves Way cooler than I let on

    I do. :D

    EG
  26. Jun 9, 2011
  27. Phil513 n00b

    I totally laughed. Does that make me a bad person?
  28. Jun 9, 2011
  29. jelloman couch'd tater...

    no...I laughed too...:jj:
  30. Jun 9, 2011
  31. Elias Graves Way cooler than I let on

    As did I. Was it a cool bike?
    [​IMG]

    EG
  32. Jun 9, 2011
  33. jelloman couch'd tater...

    no it was exactly the kind of bike you'd expect a dumb-ass junkie fuck to be riding...
  34. Jun 9, 2011
  35. Elias Graves Way cooler than I let on

    Figures. Why do they all have to follow the stereotypes? :mad:

    EG
  36. Jun 9, 2011
  37. Denverdave Resident Ragamuffin

    Stolen?
  38. Jun 9, 2011
  39. jelloman couch'd tater...

    :D

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