It's rare any music can make me this angry.

[BS555]

This shit is worse than Jimmy Buffet and The Eagles. I had the misfortune of recently being in a restaurant where they must have had his channel playing on Pandora, and it literally ruined my meal. Not exaggerating, I *hate* this fucking guy's voice and music.

Jack Johnson, please take your shitty bro music and walk into an active volcano, you utter cunt.







It would seem somethingawful.com knew what it was talking about some twelve years ago in this regard.

http://www.somethingawful.com/your-band-sucks/jack-johnson-john/

Chapter V: Anyone who doesn’t hate Jack Johnson should be shot.

 

[Theodore]

I like that one song where he's all mellow and breezy.

I get the feeling his whole family could get tortured to death in front of his eyes and he'd be all "shooby doo i got no shoes."

 

[Jbird]

I still think he took a dive vs. Jess Willard.

Never heard him sing though

 

[B Valley]

I agree wholeheartedly.

 

[surfsteve]

On a birding blog I read, someone wrote: "The Jack Johnsonites are to be feared and loathed." LULZ.

 

[Kerouac]

I really liked the first half of his first album. When I realized the second half was identical to the first, I quit.

 

[micwalt]

Awful.

 

[VoidTerraFirma]

Music like this is designed to not provoke opinion. It's like vanilla yogurt.

 

[Mark Wein]

I've had to play Flake, Better Together, Mud Football and whatever that fucking song from the Curious George movie was on gigs. I'm pretty over it.

 

[BS555]

I like that one song where he's all mellow and breezy.

I get the feeling his whole family could get tortured to death in front of his eyes and he'd be all "shooby doo i got no shoes."

I can just picture him and his awful beard standing off to the side, singing and playing along as Hannibal Lecter kills them in terrible ways.

 

[bsman]

I've only heard one JJ song that I know of, and I couldn't tell you what it was. I guess I've led a charmed life...

 

[CBHScott]

Well, someone's gotta be there to inherit the Buffett audience when he stops playing live .

 

[BS555]

I've only heard one JJ song that I know of, and I couldn't tell you what it was. I guess I've led a charmed life...

WE DON'T ALL LIVE IN YOUR GOLDEN PALACE IN THE SKY, SIR.

 

[Ignored Member]

Is he telling the girl to get in his truck so they can have sex in the woods?

No?

Then he gets a pass from me. I keep to one douche fight at a time.

 

[Tig]

I don't know if I've ever listened to any of his songs or not, but this ho's "music" makes people murder puppies:

 

[Flamencology]

If you enjoy 'chill' music, then you are clearly already far too 'chill'. It's best that you never have access to music, musical instruments, beaches, or weed, ever again.

Go have 23 espressos and join a BJJ gym.

 

[Theodore]

I can just picture him and his awful beard standing off to the side, singing and playing along as Hannibal Lecter kills them in terrible ways.

He'd probably flip if somebody forced him to wear shoes. I like how in the third video they deliberately show his besandled feets after about three seconds.

Maybe he'll get tetanus.

 

[Theodore]

13 seconds

 

[Theodore]

24 seconds

 

[wok]

after 10 seconds I wanted to smack his smug face