I'm With This Guy

Stratguy said:
#3. People In A Hurry To Be Slow

This applies equally to cars and pedestrians. The path or road is crowded; everyone's got somewhere to go; you're busting a move, but someone else is busting more. Maybe they're in a bigger rush. Maybe they're late for some emergency. So they pull up in front of you and you think, "OK. Well played, good sir. You earned that location." And then suddenly, they wilt. They lose all determination. They creep back down to a crawl or putter along under the speed limit.

It turns out they were only in a hurry to be in front of you. Pretty infuriating. You want to scream, "Hey, if you hadn't jumped in front of me, I'd be 50 yards in front of you by now. You'd be doing the same thing you're doing now except I wouldn't be stuck behind you." Of course, you can't actually say that without sounding like a crazy person so the more obvious solution is to murder them.



I totally hate this one, because it basically says that they don't really want to go fast, they just want to be in front of you, and they'll speed up just to get that position.
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This one is a daily occurrence for me too. It's the reason I wish my car had missile launchers or some kind of Death Ray to disintegrate those motherfuckers!!!:Rage:
 
huskerdude said:
People who only post parts of an article they're linking to.
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Mark's forum only lets you post so many characters. I also wrote "Highlights." And be sure not to thank me for posting a link so you could wear yourself out clicking it to see the entire article. You're welcome.

First World Problems.
 
We could create a pretty good list just from idiots on the road.

Today, for example, I encountered the Back Quarter Panel Stalker. This is the asshole who wants to ride in the next lane right on your back quarter panel even though there's no traffic. A little speed-up or slowdown and you would both have a clear lane to get over safely but no -- gotta be in that blind spot.
 
USian Pie said:
We could create a pretty good list just from idiots on the road.

Today, for example, I encountered the Back Quarter Panel Stalker. This is the asshole who wants to ride in the next lane right on your back quarter panel even though there's no traffic. A little speed-up or slowdown and you would both have a clear lane to get over safely but no -- gotta be in that blind spot.
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I concur. Self Absorbed Blind Spot Drivers.
 
James Franciscus said:
It's about time somebody stood up and said something.

7 Obnoxious Behaviors That Should Be Punishable By Death

http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-obnoxious-behaviors-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/#ixzz3H0FZJ5sP

These are the highlights:

#6. People Who Create Gaps In Lines

Ever been in a long line behind someone who feels the need to create a three to five foot buffer between themselves and the people in front of them? No one likes waiting in long lines. It's a drag. And yes, it's kind of sad how we get excited when the line advances a few inches, and then we step up a few inches. But, y'know what? That's how lines work, and it is absolutely unacceptable not to move up when the people in front of you do. I know you think you're sending a message that you're some bold individual too unique and brilliant to do exactly what every other member of the line is doing, but that's not the message we're hearing. What we're hearing is, "Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so cooooooooool. Does it bother you when I don't move up? Oh, you silly line person. I pity you. I'm free from the dictates of the line!" And we hate you for it. We hate you so much. You have no idea. Actually, you might have some idea. You see the distance between you and the person in front of you? If inches were buckets of acidic hate, that's how much.
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I am the exact opposite of this one. I detest the person who feels they need to rub their boobs or private parts on my back side in line. Dude! do you think you are making the line move any faster by invading my limited personal space? Or, in a ski line, "Sir, do you think that standing on the tails of my skis is going to get you on that chair any faster? Back off, dickhead!" I live in Idaho. There is lots of space here. No need to rub up on each other while waiting for the line to move.
 
#6 drives me crazy. Along with people standing in egress (doorways and entries to aisles at the super market) or meander with their damn shopping cart. move over, or go where you are going please!
 
sunvalleylaw said:
I am the exact opposite of this one. I detest the person who feels they need to rub their boobs or private parts on my back side in line. Dude! do you think you are making the line move any faster by invading my limited personal space? Or, in a ski line, "Sir, do you think that standing on the tails of my skis is going to get you on that chair any faster? Back off, dickhead!" I live in Idaho. There is lots of space here. No need to rub up on each other while waiting for the line to move.
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That never happens. You're the guy who can't close the gap in line who makes the line stretch out longer than it needs to be. You create big holes in the line. You're a gap maker! Admit it! Gap maker! Gap maker!
 
sunvalleylaw said:
I am the exact opposite of this one. I detest the person who feels they need to rub their boobs or private parts on my back side in line. Dude! do you think you are making the line move any faster by invading my limited personal space? Or, in a ski line, "Sir, do you think that standing on the tails of my skis is going to get you on that chair any faster? Back off, dickhead!" I live in Idaho. There is lots of space here. No need to rub up on each other while waiting for the line to move.
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What's fun is putting a ski across the back of a snowboard. . .then when they try to move they fall down. Then everybody gets a laugh at the expense of the silly knuckledragger. Along the same line - spraying snow on them while they're sitting down buckling their bindings. Ah, small town ski hill antics.
 
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James Franciscus said:
That never happens. You're the guy who can't close the gap in line who makes the line stretch out longer than it needs to be. You create big holes in the line. You're a gap maker! Admit it! Gap maker! Gap maker!
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Ok, I admit it. Except not "big holes" just enough for a little personal space. We will all get there if we are patient. So hey, quit rubbing your junk on my buns. I'll move up when there is a bit more room! :grin: You're in Idaho now, there is lots of space here. Relax and spread out a little!


EDIT: The driving version of this is when you are in a line of traffic moving at speed, you are traveling at the same rate of speed, but leave a reasonable gap for safety and some dude has to pass on the right and move in on you. Grr! Now, I want to get there as quickly as anyone, and am a pretty directed and quick driver. But leaving a safety gap in traffic is just smart driving. And let's be clear, I am not the guy that slows down in traffic to make a point or hangs in the left lane a 55 when everyone is going 70. I just try to leave some reasonable space (not a full 3 seconds worth as they teach you. You could never maintain that in traffic) in a line of moving traffic.
 
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Punchy said:
What's fun is putting a ski across the back of a snowboard. . .then when they try to move they fall down. Then everybody gets a laugh at the expense of the silly knuckledragger. Along the same line - spraying snow on them while they're sitting down buckling their bindings. Ah, small town ski hill antics.
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Oh, so you're THAT guy! Do you race down the ending bunny slope nearly hitting the old ladies and babies and spray everyone standing at the bottom too, expecting a medal for being first down?!! :wink: :grin:
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Oh, so you're THAT guy! Do you race down the ending bunny slope nearly hitting the old ladies and babies and spray everyone standing at the bottom too, expecting a medal for being first down?!! :wink: :grin:
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Bunny slope? Nevar! I continue off the flat and sail into the parking lot! :lol:
 
People who write stories calling for the death penalty for minor annoyances should, themselves, get the death penalty.
 
sunvalleylaw said:
Ok, I admit it. Except not "big holes" just enough for a little personal space. We will all get there if we are patient. So hey, quit rubbing your junk on my buns. I'll move up when there is a bit more room! :grin: You're in Idaho now, there is lots of space here. Relax and spread out a little!


EDIT: The driving version of this is when you are in a line of traffic moving at speed, you are traveling at the same rate of speed, but leave a reasonable gap for safety and some dude has to pass on the right and move in on you. Grr! Now, I want to get there as quickly as anyone, and am a pretty directed and quick driver. But leaving a safety gap in traffic is just smart driving. And let's be clear, I am not the guy that slows down in traffic to make a point or hangs in the left lane a 55 when everyone is going 70. I just try to leave some reasonable space (not a full 3 seconds worth as they teach you. You could never maintain that in traffic) in a line of moving traffic.
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Nobody's touching you. It's all in your mind. You clearly believe you need more space than the entire rest of the world! Tight up that line! Tighten it up!
 
Grant Gross said:
People who write stories calling for the death penalty for minor annoyances should, themselves, get the death penalty.
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People who call other people out for writing entertaining satire, while they themselves write nothing, should be shot out of a cannon over the Pacific Ocean.
 
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