Dad Gives 10-Year-Old Daughter a Very Public Lesson in Acting Her Age

I'm not big on the shame thing either. I can be quite effective without ruining their lives among their peers.

When my sister-in-law had problems with her daughter not getting out of bed and dressed in time for school (she was in 1st or 2nd grade), she simply put her in the car still in her jammies with bed head. The daughter started getting scared and desperate as they got close to school and promised to be ready every morning. Mom pulled in the drive and parked, handing the girl her clothes she hid and let her dress in the car.

The problem never happened again and the girl wasn't shamed, either.

Each kid is different with different needs and motivators.
 
When my sister-in-law had problems with her daughter not getting out of bed and dressed in time for school (she was in 1st or 2nd grade), she simply put her in the car still in her jammies with bed head. The daughter started getting scared and desperate as they got close to school and promised to be ready every morning. Mom pulled in the drive and parked, handing the girl her clothes she hid and let her dress in the car.

The problem never happened again and the girl wasn't shamed, either.

Each kid is different with different needs and motivators.
I bet mom was pretty sure the girl would cave though. You put my kids in that situation and through sheer stubbornness they'd find themselves at school half naked.
 
I have mixed feelings about this. Setting rules and limits I can see, but causing shame and embarrassment is not a way to teach kids.
It may be a way to make the guys she's telling that she's 18 realize she's not.

But I do agree. I'm pretty good at making my kid realize the repercussions of his actions. It's actually usually him that shames himself in public and we try to stop him. But he's 4, so... Who knows what's going on inside his little skull.
 
Society has found that smart phones and tablets are great ways to shut the kid up. While these skills are becoming necessary at later ages, it isn't necessary at 5. Add to it all of the hormones being added to foods hence aiding childrens growth....Oy Vey....

I was on a flight the other day and in the row in front of me was a woman with her young boy. I'd guess he was probably around 1 1/2 or so. His vocabulary seemed to consist of 3 words, "no", "waaaaah", and "iPad". :facepalm:
 
I was on a flight the other day and in the row in front of me was a woman with her young boy. I'd guess he was probably around 1 1/2 or so. His vocabulary seemed to consist of 3 words, "no", "waaaaah", and "iPad". :facepalm:
I see that all of the time in our lobby.
 
I was on a flight the other day and in the row in front of me was a woman with her young boy. I'd guess he was probably around 1 1/2 or so. His vocabulary seemed to consist of 3 words, "no", "waaaaah", and "iPad". :facepalm:

that's sad for the kid. i have a distant cousin that's several years younger than me. he grew up playing as much nintendo/game boy etc as much as he liked (way too much)...and of course when you tried to distract him from it or take it away, he went absolutely ape shit. very delayed in social development and self-control. it's heart breaking. he's mostly ok now but still quite awkward and painfully shy in social settings. fits right in with his fellow software programmers.
 
I was on a flight the other day and in the row in front of me was a woman with her young boy. I'd guess he was probably around 1 1/2 or so. His vocabulary seemed to consist of 3 words, "no", "waaaaah", and "iPad". :facepalm:
I spent a lot of time on airplanes in August and September and saw a great number of kids on the planes. The number of annoying ones? Zero.
 
I spent a lot of time on airplanes in August and September and saw a great number of kids on the planes. The number of annoying ones? Zero.

Yeah, when we fly to Hawai'i there are no rules regarding entertainment options for the little ones. 5-1/2 hours in a confined space is hard enough for most adults, so we keep them as happy and busy as can be in their seats. Yeah, we bought them their own seats. Last time they did not have their own seats and it was a rough flight for all involved.
 
Good going, Dad, shame your kid in order to "regain" control.

Piss poor, imho.

You're the grown up. Act that way.
 
Yeah, when we fly to Hawai'i there are no rules regarding entertainment options for the little ones. 5-1/2 hours in a confined space is hard enough for most adults, so we keep them as happy and busy as can be in their seats. Yeah, we bought them their own seats. Last time they did not have their own seats and it was a rough flight for all involved.

The bulkhead was ideal for us when Jr was young and we travelled to either Hawaii or Minnesota. It was something I always asked for when we purchased our tickets. We would bring toys, snacks and other things to entertain him and he was really easy. When he reached 3 we were required to buy a seat and he still didn't mind as long he had his toys of choice.

Almost seems today that I don't see kids with toys anymore but just purely electronic devices to entertain children.

I spent a lot of time on airplanes in August and September and saw a great number of kids on the planes. The number of annoying ones? Zero.

You are one of the lucky one Gary. How long were those flights? On short flights I have never had an issue. On long flights it never failed to have an annoying child whining.

I was on a flight the other day and in the row in front of me was a woman with her young boy. I'd guess he was probably around 1 1/2 or so. His vocabulary seemed to consist of 3 words, "no", "waaaaah", and "iPad". :facepalm:

That what I usually hear on the plane as well.

Good going, Dad, shame your kid in order to "regain" control.
Piss poor, imho.
You're the grown up. Act that way.
Mind I ask CK, what would you have done?
 
You are one of the lucky one Gary. How long were those flights? On short flights I have never had an issue. On long flights it never failed to have an annoying child whining.
Some were 2 or 3 hours, but there were two cross-country flights as well. (DC to LA, Seattle to DC.)
 
I have a 14 yr old boy and a 9 yr old girl. Neither of them are 5'9" and our daughter especially is small enough to be mistaken for a 7 yr old, so we have the opposite problem, thankfully. I do dread the deeper teenage years, though.

I don't agree with public shaming, but I also don't know the context. We have an isolated snapshot of the parent/child relationship, and it could be a moment in which an otherwise good parent snapped. It could also be a moment when an otherwise bad parent actually felt some concern. Either way, I think the action itself is more counterproductive than anything else. And, no, the alternative is not to give out a participation ribbon. It's not like you have only two choices.
 
Kids will do what their parents allow, so in most cases it is the parent's failure that makes the kids such monsters. (yes, there are exceptions but I'm keeping this simple) Lack of oversight from the lazy parent is what I see most of the time. They let teachers , TV, and video games raise their children. The best parents are attentive and mindful of how their kids behave out in public, but know you have to choose your battles and when to allow some slack.

How many kids do you see running wild in stores and even sit-down restaurants while their parents are too busy messing with their phones or simply ignoring them? It is sad, really.
Mrs. T and I have a saying for this, "Raised by wolves."
 
Kids will do what their parents allow, so in most cases it is the parent's failure that makes the kids such monsters. (yes, there are exceptions but I'm keeping this simple) Lack of oversight from the lazy parent is what I see most of the time. They let teachers , TV, and video games raise their children. The best parents are attentive and mindful of how their kids behave out in public, but know you have to choose your battles and when to allow some slack.

How many kids do you see running wild in stores and even sit-down restaurants while their parents are too busy messing with their phones or simply ignoring them? It is sad, really.
Mrs. T and I have a saying for this, "Raised by wolves."

Well said Tig!
 
Mind I ask CK, what would you have done?

I don't mind at all.

Now, I cannot speak to the original thread content, as there are many mitigating circumstances and details that I am not aware of.

However, I believe at 10 years old, there are plenty of ways to exert your authority over a child other than humiliating them.

Removing privileges, access to the gizmos used, grounding them, etc....all are viable solutions if you choose to enforce them.

Couple that with probably paying more attention to what the child is doing DURING the "removal of privilege" period and finding constructive things for them to do with their time would probably go a long way.

Sooner or later, the child is going to learn to respect what you have to say. It may take 2 weeks, it may take 6 months, but in the end, you're going to prove you are in control, and that's the way it is.
 
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I have mixed feelings about this. Setting rules and limits I can see, but causing shame and embarrassment is not a way to teach kids.
Not to mention the "fallout" that will come after the public humiliation. She'll need counseling :wink:

This guy has his work cut out for him, and she's only 10. Social media accounts and a boyfriend? At 10? There's hope, but it's going to be an uphill battle, especially if she's already looking much older.
 
I don't mind at all.

Now, I cannot speak to the original thread content, as there are many mitigating circumstances and details that I am not aware of.

However, I believe at 10 years old, there are plenty of ways to exert your authority over a child other than humiliating them.

Removing privileges, access to the gizmos used, grounding them, etc....all are viable solutions if you choose to enforce them.

Couple that with probably paying more attention to what the child is doing DURING the "removal of privilege" period and finding constructive things for them to do with their time would probably go a long way.

Sooner or later, the child is going to learn to respect what you have to say. It may take 2 weeks, it may take 6 months, but in the end, you're going to prove you are in control, and that's the way it is.

I agree with all of the above that you state.

In the original situation, it almost sounds like the father was clueless to what was going on. As discussed before, we don't know the background of the situation so we can only speculate the circumstances. My point of reference leans towards the drummer that I played with in an earlier post. The kids were older but man to have your child call the cops on you for child abuse and you didn't even touch the child. I foresee a similar situation brewing in the story above.
 
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