Band marketing 101. The Fail Files

OGG

OGG

Master of the Meh
I hope this thread gets some traction. I'd like it to be a helpful resource rather than just a "check these D'Bags out!" Sort of thing.

That said, we are in the process of a total and complete marketing overhaul. The bass player sent an email about his friends band, and how successful they are Yada Yada Yada. I know the band, they are a decent, prototypical wedding/corporate gig band. Sure, they get lot's of shows etc, but my critical analysis of their promo page made my stomach turn. It "looks" very professional on the surface. Visually fairly strong, then you read it...

Gebus.

Step 1. PROOF READ YOUR WEBSITE!

More type-o's and misspellings than I could count.

Step 2. NO ONE LIKES A BRAGART.

Hey, you are proud of your band, you don't suck (completely). Good for you. Let your media do the talking. You... shut the fuck up.

Step 3. DON'T TRASH THE COMPETITION!

This can NOT be overstated. Listing "Features and Benefits" is a proven successful tool for promoting your product or services. Selling yourself by "unselling" the competition is counter-productive douchebaggery that does more harm than good.

Example:

Here is a screen shot of the band in question from their page. They think they're the shit, and all others are just shit. Don't go there. More people will be turned away by this approach than persuaded by it...

b2e6e69ac66346b738dbaf5a45d3ff83.jpg


Not only is the above example self-grandizing, but it denigrates the entirety of the competition while painting you as a complete dick. You may believe what you're typing, but don't. Just don't. Not only are you likely WRONG about many of the bands you're shitting on, but you're making enemies out of your best possible network of allies.

Don't be a dick.

I wouldn't hire this band BECAUSE of that tactic. And, if I'm in another semi-succesful local band and I get approached to be part of a multi-band gig (this happens a lot), and I'm asked if I know other great local bands that could make the event stronger... I'm forgetting your name, dick.

So, I hope this becomes a repository for examples of how to rise above the fray by highlighting practices that fail to accomplish the intended result.

Gimme some "oh no you di'int" marketing strategies you've encountered.
 
I'm torn on item two, only because the self-effacing language on a lot of band's pages is just as irritating.

And that chart is obnoxious. I've never seen anything like that.
 
Chicken Man said:
I'm torn on item two, only because the self-effacing language on a lot of band's pages is just as irritating.

And that chart is obnoxious. I've never seen anything like that.
Click to expand...
I think a balance between confidence and being humble is likely the best approach.

And yeah, that chart made me want to kick someone in the taint.


EDIT:

I encountered a TON of this when I posted a gig offering on Gigmasters in order to get an idea of how the competition responds. It made me angry a few times at just how grandiose and dismissive a lot of bands were in their sales pitch. This was especially true of the Los Angeles based bands that used "Managers". Bunch of total asshats. Not only did they make a concerted effort to shit on everyone else, but their own media examples and websites were atrocious.
 
Last edited:
Crackhead alert!

Put together another ad to see more of how the competition responds. Private party, length: 4 hours.

First response was from a cover band I've never even heard of, their packages START at $10K

Are

You

Fucking

Kidding

Me?
 
I hate to get OGG riled, but i think if he found out one of the gigmasters events he was pursuing was just some lurker trolling for dirt, we'd all hear about it.
 
Chicken Man said:
I hate to get OGG riled, but i think if he found out one of the gigmasters events he was pursuing was just some lurker trolling for dirt, we'd all hear about it.
Click to expand...
I've answered several that I was certain were precisely that. No big deal. No different from the other 10-15 bid requests that go unanswered every week. Most of these bands have pre-written responses etc and just change their greeting to address the individual.
vonbladet said:
"Braggart". (People love pendants though, amirite?)
Click to expand...
Blame Samsung.
 
I should clarify :

This is the second time in the space of a year that we put up a bid request to get an idea of how others bid and it provides invaluable and critical information. Not doing so would be suicide.

It's no different from stores using secret shoppers etc. You can't market yourself against the unknown. I also know for a fact that many if not most of the bands using that site, are gaming/manipulating the buhgeeziz out of it in order to appear more "in demand" than they are.

It's a cut-throat game. I'm not at all comfortable with playing such, but I have a service to market and I have no reservations over gleaning some insight into the competition.

I don't do the "hard sell" shit. I'm sure we would get more gigs if I did, but that's just not my style.

We are after all, a cover band. We get paid to play music that doesn't belong to us, and is the product of someone else's hard work and passion. I feel guilty asking for money to be honest. If it made financial sense to do it for free I would. Unfortunately, we are heavily and continually invested in it and need to at least break even. We do what we do because we love doing. We are not a bunch of would-be lounge singers and Elvis Impersonators cashing in on someone else's work. We think of it as paying homage to, and perhaps broadening the appeal of the music we love.

Yeah, I'm an altruistic sap. So what. I made my money and now I want to enjoy playing my favorite music while introducing it to new audiences. It's fun and invigorating, and is my way of saying thanks to those who inspired me.

I think asking $10-15K for a few hours of playing someone else's music borders on criminal theft to be honest. I don't begrudge making a few bucks, but damn... it takes brass balls to ask that kind of payday for playing dress-up karaoke.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top