Mojo Request A personal request.....

Denverdave

Resident Ragamuffin
I am comfortable enough with this at this point to put this out here for public consumption (a few already know this).

Almost seven months ago Mrs D and I separated. I was the party who initiated the separation. No need to go into details, but both of us came from relatively dysfunctional families with alcoholism involved and both dragged those dysfunctions in our marriage to varying degrees. We have been married a long time (29 years) and just never dealt with a lot of the issues. Easier to kick them down the road. Oh and BTW - there are no third parties involved on either side. She and #1 daughter lived in the house until it sold and now have their own apartment. I have been renting a room from a friend since early April and will be moving into my own apartment in about two weeks.

Both of us have been seeing counselors for the past few months. I am dealing with my shit and I assume she is dealing with hers (I don't know what she is doing with her counselor). About six weeks ago we had our first 'relationship' discussion in a couple months. I was interested in working towards reconciling (if possible), she was not sure she wanted to but was surprised that I had any interest in that area at all.

So this Sunday we will be resuming that conversation. My guess is I will find out then if we will be filing for divorce or starting a very long, rocky road towards reconciling. Frankly, I am good either way. I am not sure even if we do decide to try and get back together if it will ever work again, but I would like at least to try. If we do end up getting a divorce there are some pretty serious repercussions to me personally due to some unique circumstances that I will not go into here in detail. And I am OK with that if it comes to it. I just want to hold off filing any paperwork until after all the holidays are past if we go down that route. If I had to guess at this point I would guess that it is about 70/30 towards divorce.

So any mojo/prayers/positive thoughts are appreciated. All of our kids are grown and only #1 daughter is left at home and she seems to be doing pretty well. I see her almost every day. I ultimately want what is best for both myself and Mrs D and I realize that staying married may not be what that is. I am also realize that probably the vast majority of blame for the situation lies with me. But after six plus months of processing that I'm ok with that too. As long as I can effectively deal with the fallout and make the changes I need to make.

Thanks....
 
Good luck. The fact that you're both dealing with your issues shows that you've both grown up, so I think you've got a good chance no matter you get back together or not!
 
Wow.Major Mojo to you Dave.
I hope everything works out for all involved.
 
It sounds like things are moving; it is hard to say where. You know how I feel about therapy; I would not the person I am now had I not done it.
Mojo to all and may things work for the best, whatever that may be.
 
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Good luck, man! I am sure whatever way things go, all will work out in the end
 
First, you have my heartfelt mojo and best wishes. Life is too long to spend it in misery no matter the circumstance.

I'm glad you both have an open mindset for the future and have not taken the short cut of throwing everything away. You have handled things far better than most would have. There is no rush, as you already know.

No matter what happens, it won't be easy, but anything worthwhile in a relationship never comes without first struggling to get there. Who knows what the future holds, but you always have us to vent and lean on.
 
You seem like a decent fellah, so its safe to say that you'll be fine. As will your family.

Keep us posted
 
Mojo, Dave...

I have to commend both of you for handling the whole situation in a rational and adult fashion, putting you in a very exclusive group...best of luck to you...
 
It sounds like things are moving; it is hard to say where. You know how I feel about therapy; I would not the person I am now had I not done it.
Mojo to all and may things work for the best, whatever that may be.

I have had a rather long standing distrust of counseling and have been very reluctant to get involved with a counselor at any level, but had I gotten involved earlier things might be different now. My counseling has had a definite positive effect and I'm getting a good idea of which areas I need to work on because of it. Unfortunately, finances dictate I cannot stay in counseling long term - especially since it appears that my insurance will not be covering any of it.
 
mojo Dave. 29 years is a long time. I hope whatever happens, you both end up happy.
 
Mojo, Dave...

I have to commend both of you for handling the whole situation in a rational and adult fashion, putting you in a very exclusive group...best of luck to you...

Well....thanks. Hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I would have done some stuff different seven months ago, but I can't change that now.
 
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