Denverdave
Resident Ragamuffin
I am comfortable enough with this at this point to put this out here for public consumption (a few already know this).
Almost seven months ago Mrs D and I separated. I was the party who initiated the separation. No need to go into details, but both of us came from relatively dysfunctional families with alcoholism involved and both dragged those dysfunctions in our marriage to varying degrees. We have been married a long time (29 years) and just never dealt with a lot of the issues. Easier to kick them down the road. Oh and BTW - there are no third parties involved on either side. She and #1 daughter lived in the house until it sold and now have their own apartment. I have been renting a room from a friend since early April and will be moving into my own apartment in about two weeks.
Both of us have been seeing counselors for the past few months. I am dealing with my shit and I assume she is dealing with hers (I don't know what she is doing with her counselor). About six weeks ago we had our first 'relationship' discussion in a couple months. I was interested in working towards reconciling (if possible), she was not sure she wanted to but was surprised that I had any interest in that area at all.
So this Sunday we will be resuming that conversation. My guess is I will find out then if we will be filing for divorce or starting a very long, rocky road towards reconciling. Frankly, I am good either way. I am not sure even if we do decide to try and get back together if it will ever work again, but I would like at least to try. If we do end up getting a divorce there are some pretty serious repercussions to me personally due to some unique circumstances that I will not go into here in detail. And I am OK with that if it comes to it. I just want to hold off filing any paperwork until after all the holidays are past if we go down that route. If I had to guess at this point I would guess that it is about 70/30 towards divorce.
So any mojo/prayers/positive thoughts are appreciated. All of our kids are grown and only #1 daughter is left at home and she seems to be doing pretty well. I see her almost every day. I ultimately want what is best for both myself and Mrs D and I realize that staying married may not be what that is. I am also realize that probably the vast majority of blame for the situation lies with me. But after six plus months of processing that I'm ok with that too. As long as I can effectively deal with the fallout and make the changes I need to make.
Thanks....
Almost seven months ago Mrs D and I separated. I was the party who initiated the separation. No need to go into details, but both of us came from relatively dysfunctional families with alcoholism involved and both dragged those dysfunctions in our marriage to varying degrees. We have been married a long time (29 years) and just never dealt with a lot of the issues. Easier to kick them down the road. Oh and BTW - there are no third parties involved on either side. She and #1 daughter lived in the house until it sold and now have their own apartment. I have been renting a room from a friend since early April and will be moving into my own apartment in about two weeks.
Both of us have been seeing counselors for the past few months. I am dealing with my shit and I assume she is dealing with hers (I don't know what she is doing with her counselor). About six weeks ago we had our first 'relationship' discussion in a couple months. I was interested in working towards reconciling (if possible), she was not sure she wanted to but was surprised that I had any interest in that area at all.
So this Sunday we will be resuming that conversation. My guess is I will find out then if we will be filing for divorce or starting a very long, rocky road towards reconciling. Frankly, I am good either way. I am not sure even if we do decide to try and get back together if it will ever work again, but I would like at least to try. If we do end up getting a divorce there are some pretty serious repercussions to me personally due to some unique circumstances that I will not go into here in detail. And I am OK with that if it comes to it. I just want to hold off filing any paperwork until after all the holidays are past if we go down that route. If I had to guess at this point I would guess that it is about 70/30 towards divorce.
So any mojo/prayers/positive thoughts are appreciated. All of our kids are grown and only #1 daughter is left at home and she seems to be doing pretty well. I see her almost every day. I ultimately want what is best for both myself and Mrs D and I realize that staying married may not be what that is. I am also realize that probably the vast majority of blame for the situation lies with me. But after six plus months of processing that I'm ok with that too. As long as I can effectively deal with the fallout and make the changes I need to make.
Thanks....