A consultant just described something as "nirvana state"

Denverdave said:
So.....I'm guessing that 'nirvana state' is becoming one of the new hot business catch-phrases then. Consultants tend to talk in cliches more so than most anyone else on the planet.
Click to expand...
Gary Blanchard said:
Because they are incentivized to do so...
Click to expand...

We released this video this week. I'm not sure what technology we have that will make it go away, but I think that's not the goal.

 
ICUP = lol
I like to throw construction jargon at these types and see if they nod and swallow.
Like: Sorry, we've got t-one-eleven protocols we have to abide by.
Or: Our accounting will need the standard WD-40's, of course.
Or: Sure, we'll give it the full Hilti.
OR: Sounds pretty board and batten to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
I'm having a rotten day. Right now, "nirvana state" would describe blowing my own head off and letting somebody else on the team start something better. :mad:
 
The entire concept of Nirvana is imperfectly understood and terribly misused in this context. Nirvana is essentially a state where the self no longer exists -- a state of total egolessness. This is damn sure NOT what those idiot consultants are selling!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
I love the abuse of "team" at work. Emails that address everyone as "team".
These fucking corporate puppets have no idea what being on a real team is like. The kind where you all depend on each other to not die or become permanently crippled.

lewis-black-o.gif
 
Tig said:
I love the abuse of "team" at work. Emails that address everyone as "team".
These fucking corporate puppets have no idea what being on a real team is like. The kind where you all depend on each other to not die or become permanently crippled.

lewis-black-o.gif
Click to expand...
What I hate is that in my current industry (WHICH I AM LEAVING IN THREE DAYS!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!) the "team" is the group of people that are thrown to the sharks. I think it would be more appropriate if they called us "chum".
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
I just received an e-mail with this sentence in it:
"This will include the operationalization and measurement of strategic imperatives, usage and relevance of Salesforce.com."


"Imperative" is particularly onerous to me these days.
I once heard someone say the word "imperative" 6 times in the span of 5 seconds and they were not stuttering.
This was in front of our country-level company president. My only thought was, "Well, you're fired."
I was wrong.

So, I am going to pepper my e-mails and discussions with "imperative" from now on.
With concentrated effort, I might own this company in 6 months. I'd give me more time, but the word-of-the-fiscal-year will likely change. So, I need to move fast. It's imperative that I achieve this imperative above all other imperatives.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
dodgechargerfan said:
I just received an e-mail with this sentence in it:
"This will include the operationalization and measurement of strategic imperatives, usage and relevance of Salesforce.com."


"Imperative" is particularly onerous to me these days.
I once heard someone say the word "imperative" 6 times in the span of 5 seconds and they were not stuttering.
This was in front of our country-level company president. My only thought was, "Well, you're fired."
I was wrong.

So, I am going to pepper my e-mails and discussions with "imperative" from now on.
With concentrated effort, I might own this company in 6 months. I'd give me more time, but the word-of-the-fiscal-year will likely change. So, I need to move fast. It's imperative that I achieve this imperative above all other imperatives.
Click to expand...

I think it is imperative that you stress the imperative nature of the imperative path on which you are imperatively proceeding in an imperative manner...
 
dodgechargerfan said:
I just received an e-mail with this sentence in it:
"This will include the operationalization and measurement of strategic imperatives, usage and relevance of Salesforce.com."


"Imperative" is particularly onerous to me these days.
I once heard someone say the word "imperative" 6 times in the span of 5 seconds and they were not stuttering.
This was in front of our country-level company president. My only thought was, "Well, you're fired."
I was wrong.

So, I am going to pepper my e-mails and discussions with "imperative" from now on.
With concentrated effort, I might own this company in 6 months. I'd give me more time, but the word-of-the-fiscal-year will likely change. So, I need to move fast. It's imperative that I achieve this imperative above all other imperatives.
Click to expand...
God, I get Salesforce.com e-mails here at work (TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT THIS PIECE OF SHIT JOB!!!). They can eat a bowl of dicks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tig
Yeah, fuck Salesforce in it's bloated, meathead face.

I'm one of the more knowledgeable Salesforce users at my job, and even when I know how to submit a referral, or an opportunity, or God forbid, schedule a meeting, it still fucking sucks.

Seriously, why do I have to run a communicator with Outlook that slows my computer to a crawl, yet still have to open the meeting in both Outlook and Salesforce in order to actually invite all the attendees and give them credit for attending?
 
bsman said:
The entire concept of Nirvana is imperfectly understood and terribly misused in this context. Nirvana is essentially a state where the self no longer exists -- a state of total egolessness. This is damn sure NOT what those idiot consultants are selling!
Click to expand...

This exactly. They don't even know wtf they're talking about. If I had a boss that talked garbage like that there's no way I'd be able to respect them.
 
This conversation just happened:

Me (listening to voicemail): Hey Frank, are we "facing any challenges densifying our virtual infrastructure?"

Frank: Nah, we got that shit down.

Me: Cool. Thanks. (delete)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top