I appreciate the sentiment. For better or worse, I just don't see work that way. In fact, I would say anyone who lives by that probably doesn't stay employed for long.
I don't agree with the notion of work being a means to self-fulfillment. In fact, it annoys the crap out of me to hear some people talk about it that way. Show me the person who "chooses" to work in order to satisfy a need for self-worth and I'll show you somebody who doesn't have family members depending on him/her to take a daily beating in order to keep them fed, sheltered, clothed, and educated.
Put differently: I have no choice in the matter and wish people who do would shut up. People have told me I should be happy I get to be around "adults" all day. Yeah, they have "adult" characteristics like being manipulative, back-stabbing, and dishonest.
The idea that a job should be someone's passion is a peculiar western post-World War II thing. Nobody thought about it that way 100 years ago. It's somewhat sick because it helps perpetuate the fallacy that our jobs are our identities.
What is one of the first things someone asks you when you meet -- "What do you do for a living?" Whether we think about it or not, we assign a certain amount of "worth" to a person based on the answer.
Only in an especially affluent society can people survive pursuing their passion. Most of the rest of the world has to grind it out.
No question I'm going to bail from this place as soon as I can find an equal or better opportunity. I don't expect to be fulfilled by it, though. I would be satisfied just not being angry and resentful most of the time.
Part of me is very sympathetic to what you're saying, and part of me is totally exasperated.
I'm a prof in a fine arts program, and I've had the conversation over and over again: "Look, why are you doing this? You aren't doing well. We think you can make it through the degree, if you put the time and effort in, but what then? If your goal is to graduate and then stay in school and become a high-school teacher or go to law school, then that's great. If you're here because you can't see yourself doing anything else, then that's a mistake. We can see you doing other things, but not this. If a prospective employer calls us for feedback, we can't lie. Simply put, you lack the aptitude."
So yeah. Not everyone can be a soloist ballerina with NYCB, fly a fighter jet, or lead the Lakers. Surprise surprise.
But "finding your passion" isn't the same thing as "pursuing your hobby". It's about finding something that you're good at, excites you, challenges you, and pays the bills. If you're in the mindset that it's lose-lose - "I can have a family OR I can run off and join the circus, and that's it" - then you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment, depression, bitterness, whatever; it seems like you've got a ball of that growing inside you already.
So yes. You shouldn't go quit your job tomorrow. But you should absolutely go speak to a career counsellor, work on a current résumé, test the job market, spend some time thinking about what you
can see yourself doing, maybe take some online courses or something.
And you should also find some time for yourself. You clearly need it. Take a vacation, visit a massage therapist, speak to a psychologist, take up a new hobby, become more physically active, take a course, make an effort to read more, call Jammity for recommended prostitutes, whatever.
Anyway, the big picture socio-economic shit - I mean, yeah, you're right and you're wrong. We do judge people based on their career and education, and it sucks. We also judge people based on their families, their hometowns, their accents, their weight, their athleticism, their haircuts, their clothing, their politics, their religious beliefs, the movies/TV/books/sports they like, their sexual partners, what they order in bars and restaurants, etc., ad infinitum.
On the other hand, it's stupid to idealize the "good old days" where work was work and nobody had unrealistic expectations. Let's face it - that sucked. It sucked for the general population, and it especially sucked for women and minorities. Yeah, the "work shouldn't be hell" POV isn't universal in this world, obviously, far far far from it. But all the more reason for us to be grateful for the opportunities that you do have.
Life is short. Don't fuck it up.
