I was offered a job in NYC today.

GreatDane said:
truth - gud katch on mi speling.

i totally agree there's more to consider than money. my kids are 5 and 3. with a 14-hour daily commute, i'd be out the door before they woke up and home as they were going to bed every weekday. i'd miss out on all the things i experience today that don't wait until the weekend - breakfast with the kids, dinner with the family, afternoon activities (dance, karate, etc.). i can't put a price on that stuff and once it's gone, it's gone.
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I had to work 10-13 hours a day when the kids were little and I NEVER saw baseball games, school plays,meet the teacher nites, or all of the other FUN stuff that kids partake in and i never got to help on homework or even see them much during the week. i knew when i took the job what the tradeoff would be,but it still sucked

If you are making enough Cash now, i'd really suggest NOT taking the position if you want a family life
 
If you like where you are at, no need to change jobs. Otherwise, you have an interesting decision to make. I'd consider moving, like Howie said.

Personally, I'd never take a job that required extensive commuting. Time is priceless, especially with family.
 
I'm with Tig and Howie. I could never do that commute. The biggest commute I have ever done was 30 minutes and there was no traffic and I drove down A1A looking at the ocean to my left and a nature preserve on my right and even that got to me after a year or so. Now I work from home and it kicks all kinds of ass.

Good luck, I can tell this will be a tough decision.
 
Anyway the job could be done from home some of the time? 2 days in the office and 3 at home etc? Could get the best of both worlds that way.
 
It's in NYC, sounds like. Is there a place in NJ or NY that would be affordable and have a shorter commute? I've moved my family across country twice. Kids are remarkably adaptive...more so than adults.

I've found the question to ask myself in these situations is, "How will I feel if I say No?". Sometimes ya just gotta grab that ring of opportunity when it comes by, because it doesn't come by very often.
 
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Half of it is the boost from being singled out by the Big Cheese for the position that is hard to see through, around, over or under. Big head blindness, IOW. Then there's the dough that really is more of a carrot than anything else considering the added expense of bending over for the position, so to speak. It would have to be huge for me to make a change if I'm pretty comfortable already. Then, not mentioned or even hinted at, is that deep seated concern that "something evil this way comes" by turning down the position. Difficult to see the Dark Side is.
 
thanks, guys. great thoughts. it's complicated.

i know i don't want to create a commute that will limit my time with wife and kids. at 14 hours/day x 5 days, that just isn't going to work for me (YMMV, but others have hit on the importance of being there for the kids and i agree).

so that frees us up to explore other potential scenarios.

as i mentioned, my wife's parents are in Rutherford, NJ. that's a 30 - 40 minute commute into the city (the bus route is a two-minute walk from their house). there are significant age-related circumstances that could present a need to be closer to them more regularly, regardless of whether or not i take this NYC job. so that begs a question, "if we're already looking at the possibility of needing to be closer to her family in the next 2-3 years, then do we consider accelerating that time horizon to 2-3 months?"

i'm in a position of strength for this "dance". the RVP and i will continue to work closely and amicably going forward if i decline. i won't jerk him around and he'll respect that. i'll stay on his "list" and maybe with more lead time, it will work out at some point in the future. there is no real downside to declining - he and i interact like peers even though he enjoys a higher rank and salary, and i report up through a completely different "food chain" so it's not like i'm black-listed if i don't sign up this time (or ever). This opportunity checks all my personal career interest boxes, but isn't a role necessity or requirement. big difference.

he called me today to bust my balls and find out if i was ready to accept his offer. i told him "the patient isn't dead on the operating table, but it's not looking good." he laughed. i told him i'd continue to try to wrap my brain around it through the weekend and get back to him on Monday. he then mentioned that he could get me a relocation package arrangement (the company buys my house, works with me to purchase a new house, and then moves my family and belongings with no cost to me). He also confirmed what i suspected that there was a very good upside to the salary, and told me not to worry about cost of living differences.

i'll likely tell him on monday that it isn't in the cards right now. but what a ride... !
 
GreatDane said:
Great safe towns for young families in northern NJ within 60 minutes of NYC? Anyone?
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Rutherford, Lyndhurst, Nutley, the Nutley side of Clifton, Little Falls, Totowa, Montclair, Wayne, Caldwell... that's just off the top of my head.

The wife and I decided we wanted to stay in Rutherford because they have the best schools in the general area and Nate's starting kindergarten 2015.
 
GilmourD said:
Rutherford, Lyndhurst, Nutley, the Nutley side of Clifton, Little Falls, Totowa, Montclair, Wayne, Caldwell... that's just off the top of my head.

The wife and I decided we wanted to stay in Rutherford because they have the best schools in the general area and Nate's starting kindergarten 2015.
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thank you! time to go play on Realtor.com and Zillow...
 
Talk to your accountant before you get attached to New Jersey. Jersey taxes are some of the highest in the country and you’ll also be paying the 1% tax for working in NYC. Spend a day in those Jersey towns, too. Many of those towns are lifeless bedroom communities. They have nice houses, schools and parks but everything else sucks, so if you want to do anything interesting, or eat/shop anywhere decent, you have to trek into the city, which may or may not work depending on the age of your kids.

On the upside, a 45 minute commute from Jersey to midtown can be better than 1+ hour walking + subway commutes from some parts of Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. It helps if your employer will let you work on the train and spend less time at the office.
 
We just got back from a quick overnight stay with the in-laws in NJ. While there, we looked at five properties in Rutherford, Montclair and Verona. I liked Verona the best but Montclair was also gorgeous and Rutherford would be fine too. I've asked the RVP to give me a specific offer that includes base salary, relocation specifics and time line. This could get really interesting in the coming weeks...
 
GreatDane said:
We just got back from a quick overnight stay with the in-laws in NJ. While there, we looked at five properties in Rutherford, Montclair and Verona. I liked Verona the best but Montclair was also gorgeous and Rutherford would be fine too. I've asked the RVP to give me a specific offer that includes base salary, relocation specifics and time line. This could get really interesting in the coming weeks...
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he wrote back earlier to say that he'd get right on those specifics and be back in touch. i've been running numbers for the past hour tonight. this is going to be tight if he doesn't step up. i told him he better come in with a strong offer if he hopes to dislodge me from CT. haha!
 
GreatDane said:
he wrote back earlier to say that he'd get right on those specifics and be back in touch. i've been running numbers for the past hour tonight. this is going to be tight if he doesn't step up. i told him he better come in with a strong offer if he hopes to dislodge me from CT. haha!
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Nice, sounds like you're playing perfectly. Sounds like he's been talking pretty big up 'til now, let's see if he backs it up.
 
Wow, Ben! I've been on vaca, so just catching up here. That sounds like it could be a great opportunity for you, if you're into the idea of moving to NJ a bit earlier than expected. I definitely wouldn't consider the commute for all the reasons you've already figured out on your own. As someone else mentioned, kids adapt easily enough, but you might consider that it will be easier on them now than it would be in 3-4 years, after they've been in school awhile and made close friends.

I'm facing a career change decision myself. Exciting and stressful all at once. Best of luck in your decision making process!
 
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